Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Ducked!



Its been ages since I wrote any reviews no? Well lets do better this year. *wink*

Anyways, are you guys into scarves? Well I'm not exactly the hijab donning type but I gotta admit I have quite a collection. Perhaps one day when I do have a crib with super nice walk in wardrobe I get to organise them all nicely. For now they are all still stacked in boxes and nicely kept in its original wrappers till once in a blue moon I get the urge to take them out for use. 

Like today, I get to don my Duck Fluff in Cream Puff to work because the zakat people is dropping by the office. It just seem proper.

Well true to its title, one of my fav brand will be Duck Scarves. Not just because its a fashion thing - duh I have other too. Its just that some of their designs its just so irresistable, I gotta admit its a crime to simply ignore it. I love the material as well, and the fact that its so simple yet elegant. 

Especially the new world map limited edition scarves.

Its like love at first sight.

*sigh*

For the first time I actually took the time to que for the scarves. Of course, the que was horrendous. With lots of unhappy people complaining about a lot of things - like the crappy online service, the fact that some shoppers charge extra and others willingly pay the excess, people cutting ques, people unhappy with the wait - yet, the moment they enter the store, all is forgotten and each customer came out brimming with smiles.

Heheheh. They forget too fast and too soon.

Human.

I wasn't complaining. I wanted the stuff, so no point complaining. If I'm not up for it then I won't be there. 

*grin*

Anyways - I am up to 10 ducks so far - quite a collection for someone who doesn't wear it on a daily basis. 

Well I think I'll be unboxing my new world map later tonight. Maybe even insta live. Then dance like a lil girl that just got candy.

Maybe.

*grin*

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Catching up....

Hello.

It's been a while.

I believe I have not been writing much this past year - a lot had happened, so much to say - yet so little words are there to express it. For a while life seems just to be passing by - it became routine and unspontaneus - I suppose I myself is going through a soul searching phase for yes, I am lost.

But the world does not revolve around me. The sun still rise and set on its intended timing. I watch everyone around me grow and move forward, as I stood there an observer. Not that I am not evolving myself - its better at work, more manageable stress level, I manage to find time to do things I love like travelling (though not far) and yoga - but I know deep inside I yearn for more. My self actualisation goals are somewhat at a pause at the moment.

Then there's the passing of my mom. I can not even begin to say how much I missed her, because I simply do not know how to say it. When asked and confronted I always put the brave face and said its all fine - because its just me to always put a strong front and think positive. It's how I am trained since young. To be honest I don't know how to say that the passing hurts so much and I wish she was still here so that I can call her when I want to (yeah, selfish me!). Its easier to act normal and just bury it inside and not to think so much of it.

Anyways I hope she's in a better place. I believe she is. My aunties believe that she's sipping coconut with her dad at a beach somewhere, enjoying the sun. That's nice. Its been raining here the past couple of days I wish there is a bit of sun.

On a happier note, the most busy time of the year is almost 50% through. Kudos to my team who had poured effort and planned early that we are now working through our peak reporting period without having to live like zombies! (Love,yes a lot). For once I get to clock out at a more reasonable time (which is below 8pm) and catch up with yoga twice a week and a weekend run. Compared to last year this was a huge improvement - because I no longer have the feeling (or the need) to cry at 2am in the morning next to a printer that suddenly prints in the middle of the night when no one is actually using it. Now the finishing line it mid Feb for board approvals and end march for annual reporting - which I hope we can all continue at this pace (or better).

:)

Oh I hat that printer. Actually not so much hate but scared of it.

Hehehe.

A couple of more days to Lunar year. This year is my year. Roosters thrive! Bet everyone is itching for the long weekend too - so whoever is celebrating, happy Lunar year and to the rest who is on a break, have fun!!!

xo!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Think more positive.

I technically almost forgot my own blog address - nampak sangat dah lama tak blogging. Well I had been through quite a bit this past few months and being the mature me blogging about negativity seems so passe - no point sharing all the negative conondrums and infecting people with my moody drama - so I decided to maintain my silence and just keep on to myself.

Which has been ok la for a while. To tell you the truth even when I am all quite people were talking behind my back. Hmm - perhaps its called for, but what the heck la. If I over think all this I will get even more depressed, so screw them. Why must I let others affect me?

Ke manakah pergi my don't care don't mind attitude?

I have to say that this past year my confidence level is seriously burnt to the ground. I have to admit, I lost myself in the process. But then I have been thinking, perhaps I should bring back some good things I did in the past that may do good for me.

Like being nice. Like not caring too much and over thinking.

Like blogging.

Yeah, blogging gave me an outlet to vent out - but I think it also gave me an outlet to reach out to so many people out there and share good stuff that I go through day to day too. Because I think I write good stuff too - and good stuff brings good karma points.

So here's to writing more positive stuff!!!

hip hip hooray!!!.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Difficult times

Lately, everything is hard. Or at least I find things to be hard at my end.

Hard to sleep at night.

Hard to wake up in the morning and appreciate the sun.

Hard to enjoy the day and smell the roses.

Hard to appreciate the small things.

Hard to breathe.

I think my heart is shedding tears over wounds that no longer bleeds. My body is tired. Emotionally exhausted. 

Tried to count my blessings. Tried to be gratuitous over the blessings life has brought my way but then things was just hard.

Sometimes I wonder how people manage to stay strong. To keep on going. Dalam hati aku ni maybe tuhan baru bagi sejentik - dah menggelupur ; but then I suppose since I never persevered this far then I was never tested.

At the end of it all (if this is the end, though it appears unknown for now) I am just exhausted. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel (like I always hoped for) and I don't know how to be positive over this : I am just beyond myself at the moment I totally blanked out and don't know what to expect or do at all.

I wish I could stay strong. But what if staying strong is just pointless , then why waste it? Because all the efforts are unseen, unappreciated - its as if I never put the effort in the first place ; so why bother?

Yeah why bother.

So I kept myself numb. Drown myself with work. With hopes that this dreadful hardship will eventually wither off and things will eventually sort by itself.Its like turning on a ticking time bomb, just waiting for it to explode.

Sigh.

Lets all hope for the best.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Where the hell have I been? Through hell, the moon and back....perhaps.

Perhaps the better question is what has happened to the funny witty me?

Writers block is a bitch. Then life happens. Just tones and tones of work that keeps on piling a never ending mountain. I try to write of the shittiness that happens to me daily with thoughts of rainbows and unicorns - I know that seems to sound as if I am delusional but hey, whatever la, as long as it rocks my boat then what others think do not matter. So instead of shit I actually have rainbows.

Lucky me.

My fengshui reading this year appears to be a lot of positive - considering somehow roosters are besties with monkeys and monkey year brings good fortune to roosters. Of course they say I can boost my prosperity if I put a flag on some part of my house and park gold stuff at another end of the house - I am yet to do that, because seriously my house is a mess I am scared the boosters might get lost in between tones of I don't know what. But I think I still have time to clean up and place my boosters all around the house since technically the Hokkien new year just kicked in yesterday (I think) and its not Chap Goh Meh yet. So yeah, maybe I should get that done pronto. Before all this new year jiggy ends.

*Grin*

Lama kan I tak ramble?

Bahahahaha.

Anyways I got tonnes of make up last week (and new brushes - dance dance!) and I think I should start putting on make up more often and make others feel a little bit lively when I enter the room. Of late I felt like everyone took me in as a buzzkill simply because I heard it was said that I wreck havoc - perhaps I am some sort of a tornado - but hey, things happen for a reason. Perhaps me in make-up will cheer people up and make them feel less defensive. Sigh. Classic china doll routine ni. I never thought I'll have to go through life having the need to bat my eyelashes but then God already gave me eyelashes so why am I so darn against batting it?

Sometimes independent women thing is a good thing, when you can't do independent women then terpaksa be a women and bat those freaking eyelashes.

Just saying.

One's gotta live.

Thank God that the worse is over for now. I get to go back on time this past couple of days and catch up on sleep more. Sleep has been lacking too much this past couple of weeks. My back aches like a bitch. I still need to see my doctor on that. Of course the pain wont just go away in a bleep. My work environment is hazardous to my health you know.

Till later, you guys stay positive.