Perhaps the better question is what has happened to the funny witty me?
Writers block is a bitch. Then life happens. Just tones and tones of work that keeps on piling a never ending mountain. I try to write of the shittiness that happens to me daily with thoughts of rainbows and unicorns - I know that seems to sound as if I am delusional but hey, whatever la, as long as it rocks my boat then what others think do not matter. So instead of shit I actually have rainbows.
My fengshui reading this year appears to be a lot of positive - considering somehow roosters are besties with monkeys and monkey year brings good fortune to roosters. Of course they say I can boost my prosperity if I put a flag on some part of my house and park gold stuff at another end of the house - I am yet to do that, because seriously my house is a mess I am scared the boosters might get lost in between tones of I don't know what. But I think I still have time to clean up and place my boosters all around the house since technically the Hokkien new year just kicked in yesterday (I think) and its not Chap Goh Meh yet. So yeah, maybe I should get that done pronto. Before all this new year jiggy ends.
Lama kan I tak ramble?
Anyways I got tonnes of make up last week (and new brushes - dance dance!) and I think I should start putting on make up more often and make others feel a little bit lively when I enter the room. Of late I felt like everyone took me in as a buzzkill simply because I heard it was said that I wreck havoc - perhaps I am some sort of a tornado - but hey, things happen for a reason. Perhaps me in make-up will cheer people up and make them feel less defensive. Sigh. Classic china doll routine ni. I never thought I'll have to go through life having the need to bat my eyelashes but then God already gave me eyelashes so why am I so darn against batting it?
Sometimes independent women thing is a good thing, when you can't do independent women then terpaksa be a women and bat those freaking eyelashes.
One's gotta live.
Thank God that the worse is over for now. I get to go back on time this past couple of days and catch up on sleep more. Sleep has been lacking too much this past couple of weeks. My back aches like a bitch. I still need to see my doctor on that. Of course the pain wont just go away in a bleep. My work environment is hazardous to my health you know.
Till later, you guys stay positive.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Its Valentines Day and I am showing some love to my work by being at the office on a Sunday. Not that its anything abnormal considering that I have been clocking in weekends at work over the past couple of weeks over tight year end deadlines. But all is good. Hopefully this will be the last weekend at work this year end routine and starting next week all schedule goes back to normal.
I was so tired I spent the whole day in bed yesterday. I woke up late past noon and pulled my bed covers and watch TV in bed all day - except for the hour I took to have lunch outside and the other hour I went out to grab coffee with Tina. Oh my I need to get a life. MY back is aching like hell, thanks to being rooted to the chair and lack of exercise this past week. I keep on telling myself that all this will be over soon and I can take all the time in the world to again stretch my back and ease of the pain but then again the next day the whole story is still in gear 5 and I am still rooted to the same old chair.
Then again this is the final week. Crossing my fingers. All things good the papers will fly by mid next week and there will be a new normal.
Got to keep on staying positive.
Another hour at work and I am clocking out. Ageing is a bitch. Working too hard aint helping. I can see my face sagging and the my eyes keep sinking deeper and deeper. I practically age overnight everyday. At some point make up cant help anymore.
So not cool.
So let make the next hour count.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
I hate being in conflict. The thing about conflicts are no matter how strong I look and how cold or chill I may seem, I have always been the one to be very nervous and anxious inside. Despite being able to be very vocal at some point in expressing my opinions, I usually tend to regret even saying anything about it later (especially when it involves high pitched notations) and later find it difficult to breathe, eat or sleep. I feel quite suffocated inside. At the end of the day its just very tiring holding the fort all-together. I feel like taking my lights out but obviously I am not that crazy just yet, so no - lights are kept on and on and on.
And so the cycle continues. On and off.
Hell yeah, I am very very terrible at dealing with conflict.
Its even worse if by somewhat twisted fate the conflict tends to prolonged to a couple of days (or maybe even weeks)....I might end up to turn into a nervous wreck. And seriously, it might sound crazy but some (or maybe many) won't even notice that I am actually in a conflict situation because I tend to play ignorance and divert my attention elsewhere.
I know. Not good.
I should be taking it all in like an adult. Gulp away all the horrors and man up about it.
But I am a coward. Hati tisu. Always end up being the one giving in. But at the end do they even appreciate it? I mean the fact that I actually gave in. After a while its more like a sign of weakness. Being taken for granted and all.
I want to believe that I am stronger than this. Wiser after all this years.
Now I just gotta believe it.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Okay....call me la ketinggalan zaman ke whatever but I recently dabbled with spotify and gosh I love it way better than my AppleMusic.
Anyways my friend had been buzzing about this app since last year ad being an apple hardcore fan I said nah.....I can live without but omg they have way cooler playlist than AppleMusic in which buat I sangat la berbelah bahagi.
I don't know why but the playlist macam plays exactly the right music for work or play. Tak payah susah susah fikir nak create playlist sendiri or be stuck with one particulr singer - which I usually do when I'm on AppleMusic sebab the playlist macam hmmmm....how to say? Dunno. But whatev's, with spotify I can also click jazz or house and omg in minutes I'm already grooving.
Harus la tak lama lagi aku unsubscribe AppleMusic tu. And just keep whatever I have.
Oh its playing Selena Gomez's "Good For You". :). Now lets find that on Smule and try karoke over it.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Happy Ramadhan everyone.
I have been taking my own sweet time transitioning into my new role. My last week in my prior workplace was cool...I managed to smoothly hand over my work, pack my bags and say goodbye to everyone a day before my last day because of my company's AGM. Its been a tradition that AGM day is usually the most laid back day since for the past 3 years - its good to get the chance to bid my farewell in person with people I have been working with over good food and conversation.
I have to confess that I almost felt a tad sentimental whilst giving my farewell speech to the department. Despite all odds they felt like family. It was nice of them to get me an IKEA gift card - will definitely put it to good use in the future.
Whilst everyone is expecting for me to get a couple of days (perhaps weeks) off before I start at a new place, I didn't even bother to unpack my stuff and started at the new office the next day. Within the same week I dragged my old stationeries (even my green froggie coin box) and unpacked them at my new (ehhhmm, sort of previously owned by me too) desk.
Within the blink of an eye I was buzzing around the office reconnecting with familiar faces and before you know it, it's like I never left.
In a way being back gave me a tad of relief. Not that the workload will be any different - work is work....it can pile up as we speak - but at least I get to work at a pace I am comfortable at. No more worrying not knowing about ad-hoc jobs. Not that I am complaining la. But too much ad-hoc jobs is not a good thing too. Plus the hours are more friendly.
*Jangan aku tetiba bosan sudah. Yes, I know. Mengada la sangat*
But so far it has been good. Thank heavens it has been providing me with the escape I need from my emotional roller coaster. Focusing on work is always a good thing.
Now back to my to do list.
Less than an hour to go before closing time. Till later. xo!