Sunday, September 30, 2007

Hujung minggu yang amat tensi....

Friday was not a very good day...in fact it was a bad day....

My laptop crash that day.....and poor me didnt even get a sign....all my work was lost since i pandai sangat tak gheti nak back up kerja...all was lost....great.....semua yang ku kerjakan minggu lepas selepas pening kepala baca consol worksheet gila tu hilang before i get the chance to mail it to my bos....great, damn great....

And my IT people took their own sweet time to replace it...yeah...no matter, it's just that my bos need me to get things done by tomorrow morning...gagagaga....and I ned to go and see my mom (and help her bake cookies) this weekend....and I have to drive all the way...

To even think about it was unpleasant...

So I end up borrowing Farouk's pc (bless that kid) but I still can;t do anything at my mom's place because I was farking tired (sigh!!!) and the internet takes a million dinosour years to open my mailbox to retrieve the e-mail i'm suppose to have a look at...

It's gonna be along nights folks....and tomorrow morning, it'll be bloody (at least if I am lucky and manage to pull off something, my eyes will be bloodshot red).

Oh, almost forgot...did I mention my new hair-do?

I took nicole richie's advice and cut it short, and in the process shaved 5 years off from my face. Too bad I have puffy eyes that made me look a biyt unhealthy (and old). But with my haoir short I realised something....

MY SKIN IS DEFINITELY BETTER COMPARED TO 5 YEARS AGO!!!!

Hahahhaha...

Farouk's laptop rocks....I love the keypad, it makes my fingers bounce...huhu...

I hope to live another day, and to do so, I need to catch up with work (and of course, rush back home to Raksaksa at TV3 and Gol and Gincu at 8TV)...

Ciao peeps.....hope u all had a better weekend than i did.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Pening Kepala...

Dah a few days (in fact, since last Monday) I've been sitting trying to figure out breakdowns that forms part of a consolidation worksheet...and i tell you it's giving me a huge headcahe. And now that it's already Thursday (sigh...how time flies), I am pressured to dwell on it and get something out.

Mak sangat tension...

Did i tell u i hate consol????

Sheesh...dalam perasaan amat tertekan ni la i rasa my blood pressure macam melonjak2.

Takpe takpe...ada sikit lagi....boleh buat tonight and email tomorrow morning....

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tak Larat...

I rasa sangat tak larat...

Nasib baik dah nak balik...

Ntah nak buat apa kat umah malam ni...boleh je pegi tengok wayang, tapi tak kan la nak tengok sorang-sorang kan, amat la bosan. Boleh je ambik Ani ajak dia buka puasa sama-sama, tapi Bangsar mesti jam....so terasa macam agak malas la pulak.

Boleh je balik umah tido....tapi takde mood la nak tido.

Semalam I beli flatties kat Vinci...Raf yang cari kasut, aku yang membeli. Tak pe la, flatties aku yang dulu tu dah jadi arwah, so bolehla ganti baru, boleh la kot benda ni tahan beberapa bulan sampai aku beli flatties lain.

Haritu masa pergi BV2 dengan izwain nampak flatties yang sangat delicious dekat Aldo...tapi mahal...wah!!!!!Nak raya ni, budget nanti banyak lari, so that will have to wait...sigh!!

Ok la, dah 4.30 on the dot...me signing off. Cya peeps!

Perempuan Semua Mata Duitan??

Ok...within this week alone I heard this word uttered a few times by a few people...and somehow I felt that it's an interesting topic to discuss...heheh..

Betul ke semua perempuan mata duitan?

Adil ke perempuan digeneralisasikan macam tu?

Well, if I say money is not important, I would be lying. But having concern over a partner's financial stability shouldn't make a girl materialistic, right? Nowadays, survival of the fittest is no longer measured by who is the strongest, the most powerfull of all (like a caveman, u got the picture right) but in many forms more complicated to understand, because as lives evolves, the way we think changes, thus creating a ripple effect in our lives evolving our habits, changing our needs, desire and concerns.

Women fifty years ago may not take financial stability seriously because then, the cost of living is lower and life is less demanding. These days things are different...u need to start paying for education, medication cost a bomb, inflation keep on rising...that somehow, we frail creation of God (yeah, us female) can't help but sought security in our partners...so to say money ain't important is rubbish. It is important. And we need our man to be capable of providing at least the bare necessities for a good life - food, shelter and a good future for our kids (if there is any....they should be provided with adequate education, given the opportunity to be able to earn a degree, have proper medication and nutrition and being allowed the proper environment to excel as a person).

These days,we women did not sit still and wait for our fortunes to land on our lap. Please do not fail to realise that women of our generation is learning to stand on their own two feet (and stronger every day) by having our own career and source of income. In a way, we are independant on our own and capable of managing our own lives.

Of course, women loves luxury. Who the hell don't like to be pampered? But luxury remains as it is, it's not meant to be had every day. I believe that most women's concern is sustainability and security.

After all that, men still thinks that we are all gold-diggers?

I once heard a story of a guy who claims that all women are gold-diggers because the first thing they ask when they start to get to know you is wether u own a house, have a car, what kind of job you do...and if it doesn't fit the bill, she splits.

Well, such general question can label one person materialistic meh?

Sheesh, one girls criteria in choosing a man surely doesn't represent a population of billions of women in the world. What about a guy who chooses a girl base on the way she dress, the make-up she wears, or the car she drives?

I believe materialistic should be defined as an individual character, unique to a specific addressee. If the women has the traits...then you as a man should simply avoid them.

Then, comes the next question, what is the trait?

Hmm...I wouldn't know a specific trait, but any Dick, Jo and Harry can pass a materialistic partner just by common sense...

If you think you can't afford to provide your girl with more than what she is already endowed with, then stay away...obviously if she's rich and well off, her definition of "bare necessities" will be more than the average joe's definition of the same thing...thus, maintenance will be a problem...and...

Even if you are confident enough to approach her when you don't match the above, a relationship can still be on if there are other qualities in her that attracts you...maybe her smile, generosity...whatever. Love works it charms in many ways, if she is made for you then mati hidup semula pun you'll end up with her...

So pandaila ukur baju atas badan sendiri....

Aparque

Yesterday during dinner at Shogun, a new information has brought to my attention....

Rupa-rupanya all this while I eja nama Apak salah...it is suppose to be Aparque....and he insisted on the right spelling...sheesh.

*ada ke eja macam ni?kesan sejarah sekolah berasrama....memberi nafas kepada nama2 yang pelik2 dan tak masuk akal....hahahah.

But then he takes pride over the name, so tak pe la...sorry la ye sebab silap eja.

Tapi untuk masa2 akan datang...i will still address u as Apak (not Aparque) coz it's sooo much easier to spell.

**by the way, the food at shogun was good (I was so bloated when I got home, I can't sleep!I was tossing for an hour before I finally manage to get a decent shut eye).

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

What a Pity....

Yesterday, a friend of mine got hit by a mat rempit...not her car....she got beaten up.

She is a common driver, just like all of us, who honk at a motorcyclist for hogging the road (kalau kereta nak drive kat tengah2 pun kena hon inikan pulak motorsikal dak?). Just one normal honk....but apparently, that #$%@* took it too seriously, followed her car till she arrived at her destination, waited till she got out of the car, and then approach her without a warning and knocked her a few times with his helmet..

Kenapa rakyat kita dengan sewenang-wenangnya menjadi begitu kejam?

For one thing, what kind of man hits a women just because you get honked? Dah la bulan puasa....tak kenal langsung erti kesabaran. I pity his girlfriend, daat kaki pukul...amat menakutkan.

Secondly, dia boleh buat macam tu in broad daylight and in public. He fear of the public and authorities the least, I suppose, to have the guts to pull such an act.It is like as if they didnt care if they they are caught, or if someday they will be charged...and they take the gravity of the situation lightly that I don't think this is their first time doing it. Kalau u amat stress dan tertekan pun, takkan sampai tergamak pukul2 orang, psiko apa??

It's a pity, no wonder our younger generations are getting more and more violent. We ourselves have people who are not working towards setting a good a example.

Nanti satu hari dia sendiri kena baru tau. Kita mana tau balasan tuhan tu macam mana.

Me and why I can never sell a thing....

Some people are very lucky because they have talent in sales and entrepenuership...

Me?I am just a common person. The only thing I am expert in doing is nag (and shop...heheh, but that is a totally different story, because I look at it as a hobby...heheh). I suppose when there are people who is born to sell stuff in the world, I am just born to buy them...

But to come to think about it I can actually bake. And I love baking....all this while I have been pushing my sister to bake chocolate cake with me every year (not to mention cookies for hari raya) and over the years we have been perfecting our family recipe. Every year our family will bake at least 5 loyang of chocolate cake to be served during the first two days of Hari Raya, and guess what....it's a best seller. People had been asking for recipe every year, but hey, I just smile sheepishly and kept my mouth shut. If they want more they can come back next year...hehehe.

Sigh....

Kurekure actually asked me why I don't start a baking business of my own....like xoxo did with the cuppies....but seriously, do u think I have the time?

I know I am always complaining about having nothing to do but seriously, do I have the time?

If I ever do it as a business, maybe it'll be a small home makers business that caters to family and friends...if they want it, they can say it anytime and if I am free, I have no problems doing it.

But personally, I think I never tried because I fear that it might fail. Time is only an excuse. I fear that it will not work out, after all the efforts wasted burning the midnight oil and juggling between a paying job and a freelance baking job. It's no question tiring....I ni dah la manja....tak boleh penat sangat....

So while I sit down at the corner envious of people earning big bucks out of sales, I just have to just suck it up since I dont think I have the guts anyway.

When I finally do later, i will definitely tell everyone...heheh.

Shogun???

Yeah, i know....I'm not suppose to go for buffet...

Tapi I nak pergi jugak!!!!!

hehehe....have fun, I know I'll do

*takpe la...i'll cut the carbs and take more protein ye?

Criminal Minds Night In...hehehe

Yesterday I buka ala kadar je...(yeah right, I went to Chilis and had the Cajun Chicken sandwich)...met my sister to pick up chocolate cake mommy made me over the weekend (sob sob...ada orang jugak sayang kat aku yang depress ni) and later, just chill at home to watch CSI and Criminal Minds.

Semalam punya episod of Criminal Minds agak mendebarkan....Reid kena tangkap and taken hostage ok....I am so excited to know what the team would do without the nerd, hehehhe.Dah la criminal kali ni narcissistic psycho yang ada triple personality, boleh tak?

Eventhough Reid was safe at the end...to bad now he has a bad habit...drug addiction. Ni kerja psiko tu la inject dia dengan drugs....

Somewhere in between the show the energy went out...obviously I panic (mestila, mak hidup mesti ada electricity okeh!!!and WTH boleh takde elektrik kat tengah2 taman tun ni???)...dah la tengah seronok tengok TV kan, tiba2 putus....tension je....nasib baik 10 minutes je....lepas tu ada balik.

Kalau tak...mesti sakit hati tak dapat tengok Criminal Mind. Dah la aku dah addict tengok cite tu..

By the way, I realised that I was so tired and lethargic yesterday, and figured that maybe I was feeling that way because I was dehydrated. So I don up more than 2 litres of water all night and voila, now I am feeling fresh and good...miracle of H2O, hehehehe.Plus, I took almost 14 pieces of dates just to keep my energy up all night. Agaknya berapa kalori dalam buah kurma?mesti banyak tak ingat ok. Tapi at least I don't feel bloated. So its good, so far.

Ofis dah menyepi, because most of my collegues have either left for client or had gone for lunch.

Can't wait for work to be over...meeting Raf, Apak and Izwain today for buka puasa at Shogun...

*macam mana nak kurus ni, tak abis2 pergi buffet?

Monday, September 24, 2007

Things That Made My Weekend...

Though last weekday was HORRIBLE.....I suppose that there are few things over the weekends that eases the pain.....

1. A lot of sleep....yeah, I slept like a log....

2.Making up for the fights...

3. Karam Sigh Walia's section during 8pm news at TV3....hmm...masalah babi makan meruncing, not to mention irresponsible disposal of chemical waste...he added a funny twist to it....just can't help myself from laughing my guts out..

4. Dates with old friends...catch up on lost time...

5. Movies...I went to watch Skinwalkers yesterday....

6. Manicure at Saluga's...now I have primp and shiny nails (and I can switch to contacts agains if I want too...)

The funniest thing about going to get your manicure done is that it's like going to a shrink...for a fee of abot RM25 you get to pour your heart out to someone who wouldn't judge you. Plus, you get to get free advice (if the situation renders).

Last week , out of the frustrations that I am facing, I (ALMOST) got a haircut. My hair is starting to split...suddenly I feel heaty and irritated most of the time....so maybe I need to trim out the hair to loose some of my misfortune.

But then I was NEVER GOOD with SHORT HAIR....it makes me gain a zillion pounds of weight and makes me look even worse than a mushroom...maybe a pumpkin in exact. But then I didn't care, I almost give up on myself anyway...

So I asked my manicurist about it...what does she think if I had short hair???

The thing about Lorna (my manicurist) is that she is a perfectionist....and since she get my nails pretty nice and gleamy lately...I believed that somewhere deep in her heart that she has my best interest in mind most of the time...

Then she said "are u crazy???don't do it!!!"

That's it...the manicurist has spoken.

And I am back to reality...

So I saved my trip to Peek-A-Boo, and maybe I'll just drop by the saloon in a few weeks for a trim....just to curb the developping dry ends problem....and hold back cutting my hair mushroom short till I lose 20 kg (if ever!!!).

OK...back to work...

Monday, monday,monday.....

It's a monday morning...no matter how much I hate it, I'm back in office....

Nak bangun pagi tadi punya la liat.....I toss and turn a an hour or so before I finally manage to pull myself out of bed at 8.30 am.....thanks to having excess time and nothing to do over the weekends, I certainly have spoilt my biological clocks by waking up after 10 am since the last few days...not a very good habit actually.But then, I was depressed....and sleeping doesn't cost me a dime and it takes away the pain and misery, at least for a while...

I remember those days in high school and uni when i sleep a lot....yeah, i sleep every chance i can...orang sibok dok berborak kat koridor aku dok dalam bilik bergelumang dengan selimut....orang sibok study, aku sibok dok atas katil tidur lagi....tak kisah la cuti ke, exam ke...my bed is my best friend and company.

What people don't know that I sleep a lot then because I was so stressed out, pening kepala...rasa macam nak migrain pun ada...so I pun tido. Sometimes I was so stressed about something I even dream about it...see, nightmares chasing me everywhere....how do you think I score my history paper?I hate that subject okeh....it just keep on haunting me in my dreams. I was lucky that the exact same thing that was haunting me came up as a question in the final exam paper...sheesh...lucky me...

Nevertheless, I came to office to meet a bundle of mail from my bosses since last Friday (and some even sent yesterday...hmm....they don't seem to know the meaning of a weekend....sigh...nasib baik aku takde blackberry, kalau tak abis la...), though in a normal day such emails is not welcoming, at least today I have work to take my mind of things....

At least over the weekends the strain lessens....if this continue for another few months I fear that I might start having wrinkles..(at 26???OMG....please not!!!!!!I am too young to look so old....up till early last year people still think I am 19....).

*oops...there you go...my actual age! never mind....deep inside I'm very very young....whatever people say.

And concerned peeps...its ok...though I am still picking up the pieces, I know I have you guys with me (sob sob).And I promise that I am not that stupid as to commiyt suicide (or homocide)and worst case scenario I'll just scheme my way out of the country (if i ever could, cross my fingers..hehehe).

Ok...got to go back to work....

Friday, September 21, 2007

Feeling Blue....

I hate feeling blue....it makes me wonder to much, think too many, of things that is very very uncertain, perhaps things that will never (even) happen in my life anyway. But I can't help it.....even the emoticon I see in facebook are the ones that of sorrow, and more blueness....

Thank god my collegues' are a very cheerful lot!!! Otherwise the day will be quite drabby.

It's a good day in the office today...not to busy, not too free...and it's friday, yeay!!!(ironically) At least I can go back home later and look forward to the weekend..even if I have no plans yet on what I am to do for the next two days, I'll figure out.

One bad thing about feeling blue is that it feels like Monday....and the weekend seems so far away...and even when it's just around the corner and it tentatively starts in 2 hours or so, you just don't look forward to it. That it feels like just another dreadful day...

Yeah peeps, I'm still picking up the pieces and please bear with me.

My mom YM me early this morning and ask me whether I am ok...

Am I?

Maybe physically....emotionally I am just torn up to bits. Little tiny itsy bitsy pieces. I feel like shouting but the scream sort of stuck in my throat (yeah, i tried, but my voice came out to be ala ala Kris Dayanti...that's not shouting...).

Thank God I dont have my credit cards anymore (fyi...they are all torn last January, when I vow to overcome my shopaholic fever)...otherwise I'll blow my card to bits (no, the more accurate word will be ashes , foooohh!!!!)...and they are not even titanium (nor platinum)...poor card!!!Plus then I'll end up having more debts, in which is th aftermath of all the impulse buying...very very very ugly aftermath...

I better move on before I start rambling nonsense.

Ciao ciao mi amore...

My broken heart...

I was hung up with work yet I am in no mood to do any....so yesterday instead of sitting in at home and rummaging through my papers, I went to karoke with Raf and Apak instead till 1 a.m....Hmm...girlfriends work wonders....I needed a break, a needed to be scooped away after everything that had happened the last few days, and their invitation is delightful...I finally found a few hours of something to do that can take my mind away...she didn't know that she actually did me a favor, actually help me forget the pain that nobody knew...or maybe she did knew something is wrong...hehe...even then she didn't say a thing....

What happeened?Let's just say its something horrible, and amidst the rollercoaster I ended up with a broken heart.Damn, I hate it when it happens.

So we sung the usuals...Umbrella, Girlfriend, Never Again....and since there's just the three of us, we had more time to experiment with new songs we never sing before. I decided to skip a few, among them is Saving all My Love by Whitney Houston.

That was my favourite song...I sang it almost everytime....most of the time singing it meant something...but after yesterday it doesn't feel right.

It makes me feel like a doormat.

After all that had happened yesterday, I realised that it's not worth it. It happened before, I should have known better. One day he'll move on and still leave me.

Maybe it's a good thing I told hime to stop making excuses and leave.

Though it shatters my heart, I know I can pick up the pieces. I did it before, I'll just do it again.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

When Love Had Sucked Me Dry....

I hate fighting...I hate the shouts, the frustration, the crying....

Being me, when I am too angry, I just shyut down and stop listening...I just cry my ass off...and that is what happen everytime I fight with my partners (existing or in the past), and at some point, I felt like there's nothing worth fighting anymore...that I am better alone than having any one of them with me.

I hate being a doormat...giving countless chances after chances, that later prove meaningless anyway.It just makes me more confused, more frustrated the next time it doesn;t work out...and I am the type that builds frustation till it reaches the bomb...when I just freak out, pack my bags and leave.

And I am almost freaking out now.

That is so not a a good sign...

I keep on trying to convince myself that when a relationship doesn't work out, its nobody's fault. But I haven't got the guts to just let things go..it's the stupid questions of "what if" again...what if this is a mistake?what if this is not a mistake?sheesh...love is complicated...i envy those people who can easily decide who they end up with, then just have kids and live happily ever after.

If only I could just run away and dissapear....

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Do you really get over of your first love???

They say, first love is hard to forget....(itu kata mereka la)...but then, how true is it?

How do you know a love is a first love? Do you have to fall very-very hard then only consider it as a first love, or puppy love counts?if puppy love counts then i bet i have long forgotten mine, hehehe (ye lah, dulu masa sekolah2 dulu minat2 orang, lepas bosan minat orang lain pulak, obviously kalau dah ramai sangat susah la nak keep track kan? Not that I have that many anyway...).

But if it is only the one that really challenges you, the one that really breaks you, then of course, i bet a lot of people had that one person engraved in their head for quite some time. To be someone that special should mean that the particular person has so much effect on you that, hey, no matter what you did (or would have done), he/she can never be forgotten/erased/eradicated (take your pick).

I always envy the people who had fond first love memories...kiss under an oak tree (macam malaysia ada oak tree, tapi takpe, andaikan....), fooling in the rain, sharing ice cream in a hot afternoon...sigh...my earlier boyfriends are not that romantic (sigh!sigh!sigh!!!!)....ntah mana ntah pergi semua lelaki2 romantik didunia ni...extinct agaknya...but i guess in a way or two they did try to please me (i mean my x-bf's la), so there are occasional surprises, roses, love letters (ha....ni memang kerja ex aku nombor 1, dia memang kaki tulis surat cinta, siap ada kod2 lagi, hahahah!) and etc....

But I suppose if its a bad memory, not many of us would forget...being really heartbroken, it must be a somewhat turning point in our lives..

To be more careful

To be more cautious

To find a more handsome/smarter/cuter/etc etc person...
*of course...especially kalau yang first tu sore loser kan, hahahah!!!!

So that we don't get hurt again

Do I ever forget my first?Maybe, maybe not....sometimes I wonder....but then again no point pondering on the past if the ***&C%K## cheats you right in front of your eyes... but that's just high school antics...nowadays I can just sit back and laugh at the memories...at least I have one, some people don't..

So what about you?

Monday, September 17, 2007

If there is anything that we could change in life....

Ever thought of being able to turn back the clock and change a decision/event/situation?If there is anything that can ever be changed, would you go back through time and change it?

Obviously there are zillions of us that will grab the opportunity at first chance, but hey, before we actually do it, shouldn't we consider if our lives is good enough now and that, hey, whatever shit that had happened before, it's not worth all the trouble to go back and change it?

Though I am (at some point) content with my life, unfortunately, I am among the zillion people who would die for the chance to undo the things that I had done before....at least if not many, a few things...hahahah (you ungrateful *****!!!)...sigh!!!...yeah, at times when I sit back and think about all the what-if's-that-could-have-had-happened-if-I-have-done-things-differently, it kills me inside...especially when the what-if turns out to be better than what I am now....huge sigh!!!

If there is anything you can change, what would it be?

I have come to this "things" of my own....if only I could change....

1. My degree....
I wish I hadn't done accounting...I wish I had listened to my dad, became an engineer....petroleum engineer, maybe, even better I suppose than civil.....and earn a lot more dosh than I am making now....

But there is one cons to that - I get bored easily with Science!I don't understand shit about chemistry (and there goes my petroleum engineering dream) and I hate to go to sites...that job is supposed to be left to man and man alone....the dust, the noise, the heat....it'll kill me...

Or maybe I should have defied my dad more...and though without a bio credits in my transcript, just insist on doing medic and get a degree in medicine the hard way and become a doctor. Just imagine me... a doctor....in white rob, saving lives....but then I don't think that will work out either...it'll be just to depressing for me to memorize everything in the human body that I might either end up dropping off school or settle and becomes a shrink...hmmm....

2. What I do for living...
With my accounting degree comes my cursed auditing and accounting life.....I wish I can do something I enjoy, rather than something I am growing to dread day in and day out....

Yeah...i'm just exaggerating, my life is not that bad. After 5 years I have come a long way...I should suck it up and be grateful, hehehe.Maybe one day I will come across my dream job, whatever it is....I am still figuring it out...

3. My eating habits
I think its a bad thing that I grew upfeeling bad of not finishing what's in my plate...and over the years I have piled up tonnes of weight just because I inssist of finishing my food even when I am full.It's bad enough that I am a food lover, and seek comfort food when I am depressed, or when I am very very happy.....that's too much reason to be associated with food. sheesh!

Despite the things that I wish to change (hahahah!wishful thinking)....I would not trade my family, my friends, my love history.....I have to admit, they contribute a lot to what I am today and how I function as a person, so without them I am nothing.Of course over the years we get disconnected, parted by circumstances, but I keep them close to my heart. If ever our path should cross again I will be deeply overjoyed.

*Thank God I am not a person who hold grudges, I forgive and forget over time, so even if I am meant to bump into my worst enemy in times to come, I will still feel happy!!

**P/s: That doesn't mean I am glad to meet my ex's...they are the lst person on earth I would ever want to meet.

Would I be happy if.....

1. I am a housewife?
Hmm.. that's a tough call...not that I will not be happy to give up my day job to play homey housewife 24/7....

It's just that knowing me, I'll get easily bored. Sure, we will have all the time in the world focussing on ourselves and not minding everybody's business, but even when I was on holiday, the longest I can stay still at home was 2 weeks, what will happen to me if I have "the rest of my life" free? Think about it....too much time with nothing firm to push me...so not good....

2. I am a mother?
Definitely! Who wouldn't want a kid? I love kids, they are adorable, especially when they are around 3 years old....anything above that please take them away from me....or let me leave them to their dads, hahaha..

*I am yet to develop my maternal insticts, but yes, I believe it will be fun and cool to have kids. I want 2 of my own.

3. I get a better job?
Hmm...what job is that?

4.I get to travel all over the world all year round....
Ooohhh..I love this one. I love travelling.....I would not let go of the chance if I ever get one...

Of course, if I am married and has 2 kids it'll be a bit fussy, but I would still love to travel. New places and new faces sometimes uplift my mood....


We can play the what if game all day, and the answers will all be about maybe's...
I guess its best to live the moment and take one step at a time....because there is no way in the world that time can be reversed...even if we can change them, we still would not know how much difference would it made to us, so yeah, maybe its best left as it is...

What I Did and Did Not do Over the Weekend....

I was so so enthusisastic last Friday...so full of plans....till it all get squashed....sigh...

What's a girl to do?Hmm....nothing much I suppose, can't play the blame game either....but the weekend went on pretty well, I suppose.

What I "DID NOT" do Over the Weekend..
1. I did not go to my mums....had to cancel last minute..
2. I did not bake the cake...since I did not go back to my mom ( sorry Tina, next time ye!!!)
3. We did not get to go for go-see (the houses?)...Arif ain't feeling good...
4. I still haven't done my grocery shopping...sigh...the fridge is still empty except for the wholemeal bread, cheese and milk I bought at 7 Eleven last Friday....


What I "DID" do over the Weekend...

1. Read a Book...
Well, since I still have over a dozen of books still wrapped nicely in plastic wrappers and collecting dust at my shelves, I might as well spend some of my free time reading them....

*the excessive stock's of chic lits is from my obsession of buying-but-not-reading-them-coz-i-lack-the-time with Izwain everytime MPH is on sale....so far this month I already manage to finish a few books - Jodi Picoult's Plain Truth, Jeffrey Archer's False Impression and The Diary of Manhattan Call Girls (can't recall the author) (that I have been reading for about a year now, on and off, heheheh!)...

I picked Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin and started on Friday night..and I have one more chapter to go.... hooray!!!


What is it about???

It's about a doormat 30 year-old-lawyer who lives in the shadowof her best friend, and at the eve of her birthday slept with her best friend's fiance...the book unravels the feelings and emotions of the main character, Rachel, that boarders between her own desire and a long-time-friendship with her best friend. It's a superb read, I enjoy it through and through, not to mention funny....if it's not because today is a Monday (a working day...big sigh!!!), I would have read it through the night and finish it...

But then the message is evident....it relays that we women should get hold of our feelings and have more confidence. We should face our fears (despite how bad it is) and not to fear risking it...maybe a certain someone should read it...

I have to stress that I don't believe the book meant to say that cheating on your best friend with their fiance's is acceptable...it just meant to point out that there are grey lines in relationship and people may have different opinions on it...

**I am sooo excited to read the ending.....

2. Went to the movies...
As usual, when my heart is all bruised up and bored to death, I seek the solace of the movie theater. This week, I manage to catch two shows...


*the Brave One*
A surnivor turned vigilante seeks justice after a traumatic almost beaten to death experience where she had lost her fiance...Jodie Foster's act is good, and the story line is entertaining..with action from mid to end. But, it's a bit heavy, so movie goers like my fiance will probably end up sleeping...

*whisper*

If u like "Omen" and the likes, this is your movie....man, why do they always turn kids into satan, anyway?But its freaky okey, to see how the kid can manipulate the mind and souls of its kidnappers to kill and turn around each other.You'll be sitting at the edge of your seat from deceit....

3. Wash my car...

It's quite disturbing to drive around with a filthy car...as if you don't love them, but it has been raining cats and dogs lately that I don't feel my two cents worth to send my car for car wash. But then I finally decided that its time, and what the heck, if it rains, at least my car had a good vacuum. Look at the pics, I had an artilerry of people working on my beloved car...


And that is my fiance goofing around while waiting the car to be done....
And by the time I want to goof saround...he insist that whe should leave because the car is done and it's going to rain...

See....not even 5 minutes done and it's starting to drizzle, my my....

4. I cook...

Like blogging, I look at cooking (and baking) as a therapy. Sadly I can only cook sardin, tuna, mixed veggie and fry stuff (but I have better luck at baking...seriously!!!)...but it's okay, my mom always say that we don't really cook until we are married, and when we dod get married we will learn how to cook naturally...it just need a lot of practice to get a hang out of it...so I prefer to believe her and wait till the day comes...

So yesterday I cooked for buka puasa...arif is having break fast with his mom and brother, and I am too lazy to go out since I got so absorbed with the book....so I end up eating sardin (oh, yesterday was special, I went an extra mile with it by adding onions and asam jawa, hahahah!) and omellete.

Then later for supper I decided to make pancakes...because I crave something sweet.....sadly the first attempt was burnt and the second attemt end up like this...

Hmmm....mashed pancakes....hahahah...I wonder what I did wrong???

But it taste all the same and its edible....I should go home and ask my mom what went wrong, I had better luck with kuih copot the last time I made them, to fail at pancakes is so distressing...

Wow...to come to think about it, my weekend is quite eventful, right???It's not that somber, just a tad laid back...hahahah....

Friday, September 14, 2007

Ok Peeps, see you guys after the weekend!

Sangat best...lagi 10 minits to sign off, tak sabar2 nak balik and pergi pasar ramadhan....what am I going to get today???hmm.....nanti jadi macam semalam, there's too many choices, so spoilt over it...last2 makan nasi lauk ikan and sayur (and cream caramel...heheheh!).

I feel like taking arif to the movies later at midnight, but I am not sure he is really up to it. But he did promise to take me grocery shopping, to stock up on baking stuff and food, my fridge is so empty these last few days...

And tomorrow we are going house-hunting, yoohoo.....Arif is taking me to go see a few houses at Kelana Jaya and Ara Damansara area...sangat excited. U think i still have time to drop by Saluga's to fix my nails in the morning?Hmmm...have to check on that. I have lost a pair of contact lens already because my nails are too long....jeez....what to do...bulan ni pakai specs jela....

I'm packing. Cya peeps!!!

Kepeningan...

I am having a massive headache...I can not believe that looking at so much figures at one go can be so....hmmm....how to put it.....hmmm...I am also not quite sure....

Deeply confused here...HELP!!!!!

Baru nak pukul 2???

Ceh!!!Lamanya masa berlalu....

Ish ish....its a friday and time passed damn slowly....i want to go and get a hobby but then it's gonna be tough if I'm hooked on that....

Lady bos still hasn't called, been waiting for her call the whole day, can't expect me to work too late these days...I am a tad confused here, no sure of what I should do, wish to finish what I should be doing asap so I can go off at 4.30 pm today....

People had came back from lunch....at least I have company....

Tak sabar2 nak balik....

Pics from last Friday Night....

Hahahaha...I know its so rude to have pics of food on second day of puasa...and make people think about food at this ungodly lunch hour...but hecks, I'm dying to show the pics off and buka puasa is 7 hours (more or less) away.... so its not that bad...kan???

The pics are taken sometime last week...one pic of my lovely "Chicken in a Bag" meal at the Apartmen and me and my fiance night out at Melting Pot the Friday before Ramadhan....so here it goes...

*Chicken in A Bag at the Apartment - creamy and so filling right to the last bite*


*The Melting Pot*

Arif use to bring me here quite often after our clubbing sessions at Hard Rock Cafe...and since these days we rarely go clubbing, we then rarely drop by...the food is ok I suppose, what I love about Melting Pot is the string quartet that sings numbers from table to table....aahh....they're fun....*That's my dish last Friday night - Yow Chuan Fried Rice- damn, I maybe sick, but that night I was really really hungry...in the background is Arif dishing his hot chocolate....what?salahke minum hot chocolate?*

* Me and my hot chocolate...of course, we have to have one each...when it comes to hot chocolate sharing is not an option....look at that foamy whip cream....*
*And as alway arif comes in packages of many faces...this is when he is happy and neutral*
*This is when he starts wandering around*
*This is when he is wandering how to get to my hot chocolate because his is finished...heheheh*
*Aint that a lovely date?*
Have a nice day peeps!!!

Freedom of Speech

I like what Tina has to say about it....

*sorry babe, aku pinjam entry ko sikit ye....

"What I don't understand is how people actually demand for other people to blog they way they would have like them to be. I mean, that's pretty stupid isn't it. Blogging is not about pleasing people. And hey, you come across different views and opinions every other minute with everyone else but that's it. Move on. Next chapter please.I guess, it's not a free country after all. The freedom of speech thingy is a complete bullshit."

Maybe we can be pioneers to more freedom in the future....

It has to start somewhere...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

30 minutes to the end of the day....

Tak sabar2...lagi 30 minutes to the end of the working day....my mind is racing excitedly as I plan what to do next....complete my grocery list...think of where to go for buka puasa...

I have to pick up arif later after work, his car is still in the workshop - the stupid **** who broke in to his car yesterday morning stole his radio and cut off all the wiring, he can't start his engine without triggering the alarm off, not to mention the broken window - poor baby, and I have to drive all the way....I have to admit that I am a tad lazy, but what to do....blame it on the thief....thanks a million...

Again today will be a whole new experience...i never had my breakfast anywhere other than KL town and ampang (ok la, dulu ada kat cheras, puas hati???), so PJ and kelana jaya pasar ramadhan will be a whole new world to explore for me. If ever I had buka puasa in PJ dulu pun kat Jalan 223, next to my client's office....

I just hope the road will not be that bad...I might as well just head straight to pick arif up rather than go home, change then later pick him up, because by the time I reach home another tidal wave of office workers are released....the normal 5.30pm jam...being stuck in traffic is like KL signature lifestyle, u can't find it anywhere else, heheh.

Maybe I'll do just that...

Shocked Over Mat Rempit's Brutality

Was reading a headline in the Star online newspaper entitled "Student attacked by Mat Rempit after crash" and was deeply shocked over the gang attack over the poor boy.

It started with an accident...in which the motorcyclist don't want to agree with a settlement, then all of sudden he was attacked and chased by a group of Mat Rempits. Jeez....and that is not the only case. There are quite a nmber of cases out there that is shocking....they simply hit people with their helmet, gear locks and sticks....sangat merbahaya...

kalau ada sape2 accident ngan motorcyclist, do be careful...

Tip in Preserving Fruits

Since I am not at liberty for lunch today onwards till the end of the month....I am sitting at m desk staring to empty space, wondering what I should do to fill the gap in time....

Then obviously the thought about food kick in, though I am not suppose to think about it....temptations temptations....then i start contemplating on the groceries shopping i need to do before heading to mum's place on saturday....

Which brought my mind to fruits, and the talk I had with a friend last weekend on how she preserved fruits when she was studying overseas...

Well, to cut the story short, she actually came out with the idea to freeze the fruits to preserve it longer (note: pls use a working freezer, part freezing will lead to inconveniences we might not want to face).

This especially work if you love to have smoothies. She recalled the days when she had excess bananas, which normally can't last at most a week at normal room temperature, so what she did was pop the banana in the freezer (so it froze to icicles in a few days) and later whenever she has the whim for juice and smoothies, just pop it out of the freezer straight to the blender, and voila...smoothie on the go!

Its so convenient you can put less ice because it's already an icicle.

So in case you guys have excess fruits (apples, oranges, bananas?) during the month, and have a company of a blender at home, maybe you can try this and save 8 bucks on a smoothies during buka puasa!

Have a nice day!!!

First Day of Ramadhan

I thank God that today is a good day....I am really blessed that I can get through another year to another Ramadhan, and life is getting better.

I thank God for another year of memories, guidance, wisdom....another year of experience, hopefully it can shape me to a better person. Most grateful for what I have been through, friends bestowed upon me, love and generosity (and of course, patience) of people who loves me (that includes mom, ani, shaiful (yeah...my brother who always felt I don't really care much about him) and my fiance)....all the people around me.

Time has proven that I am (in fact) human....prone to mistakes, negligence and the like...at times selfish...but then I am also in the process of learning...sometimes a lesson comes in ways that are so unexpected...it's overwhelming.....

Should I apologize what I have done just because it's the first day of Ramadhan? I admit that the lessons I've learnt had evolved my thoughts, and there are things I need to apologize to, so in those circumstances I am sorry, but in others that I strongly believe that I am not wrong, I stood by my actions, and hopefully people respect that. But then again in life you can't please everyone.....

And you know what's the best thing about first of Ramadhan to me??

The exact time last year, my relationship with my fiance starts to blossom....

The exact time last year, a friend became a confidante....

The exact time last year, I put my tossing and tumbling life with my ex to rest and decided that I want to settle down with someone who actually love me, and would give the world to me even when I don't speak about it...

Arif and I had no anniversary date...we are both unsure the exact that we seriously decided to go out together, because then it was suddenly on-suddenly off with the haywire with my ex and all...but one thing is for sure, we get closer to each other last Ramadhan, and this Ramadhan, I am already engaged to him and scheduled to be wed (though the date is uncertain, still, that is progress).

And I love him....

I remember the nights he drive all the way from Kelana Jaya to Ampang to take me out for sahur because I can't go on without food, or else I get gastric attacks.

Rush to my place after work just to buka puasa with me...

Come to my house with and entourage of guy friends on 2nd day of Hari Raya...hahahah!I tell you, he is super nervous that day...

I know that we have our misunderstandings, we fight a lot lately...but what the heck, all couples fight...maybe its part of the learning process (or maybe its just the engagement curse, seriously, darah muda la kan??)....can't wait till we start fighting about everything else when living together...my friend Azz who just got married had a good time laughing at it, hahaha!

And there are a lot of things to look forward to....buka puasa with friends, heaps of buffet dinners, preparation for Hari Raya, the Hari Raya itself.....sangat menggembirakan.

To my dear fiance....gosh it has been one year!

To my dear friends....I hope you guys have a good month!!!

P/S; I did not get to get a dip in the pool yesterday coz I left office a bit late and arrived home at 6.45pm....I do manage to go for tarawikh, and the auntie who sat next to me is so nice....even when she don't know me, hehehe. Plus they serve supper after tarawikh, and if anyone is into buka puasa and sahur at the mosque...they have that as well...good right???

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

A Good Lunch Break

Met Tina today for lunch...since esok dah start puasa...lagipun I agak stress today kat ofis, so its a good thing....biasa la, jumpa Tina macam jumpa shrink ok, and it cost me nothing, hehehe, macam free therapy (cheapskate betul aku ni!)....

I settled at CB with just tea....I love CB's tea....i even have a can at home, next to my CB Viannese coffee....hehhehe...ni Tina punya kerja la ni, jadikan I CB freak...

Now I just cant wait to go home...maybe I should take a dip in the pool since the whether it quite fair today, it'll calm me down, and my cough is almost gone. Then later can quickly pack up, pergi terawih...

Dah lama I skip terawih...biasa la, malas la selalunya....tapi what the heck....i should at least try it over again this round kan....at least I made an effort.

Mommy suruh balik this weekend...dia suruh ajak Arif sekali buka puasa kat umah....u tau ape arif jawab bila I ask him???

Arif: Tengokla dulu, i get back to u...

Macam business meeting pulak. By the way, if we do go back this weekend, I want to try this new spongecake recipe that I hook up during a series of Oliver's Twist....Jamie Oliver's recipe is so easy, I tak sabar2 nak try....heheheh....so kalau balik this weekend boleh la, at least ada a few people tolong makan apa yang aku masak besides me and arif je....and kalau best....I'll definitely tell you guys about it, so we can all try them!!!!And you know what's good about it? It takes only 25 minutes to do, the recipe can be memorised instantly and it looks very very yummy!!!

But unless I make one takde la gambar nak tunjuk semua orang....so kita tunggu je la...

*P/s: Tina, I tau u nak try jugak....I'll keep in mind to save some for you and ajib...hehehe...if it turns out good...

Now if Arif says yes, we will definitely need to bring back groceries and baking stuff...not to forget also fruits and berries.

Now I have to get back to my office duties...so I can go home on time.

Selamat Berpuasa peeps!!!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Fear of the Truth...

Some people are just scared to face the truth, I feel that they sometimes misinterpret the intention of friends and family....who care and responded to their every whim....


Is it bad for a friend to tell someone they care the truth....the obvious fact that they are avoiding? Isn't a good trait for a friend to be frank and honest, no matter how hard it is?


Throughout my lifetime I've seen friendship crumble because of girlfights, boyfriend fights etc...the saddest part being friendship forsaken just because a person is hurt by a friend's remark...so called insensitivity...but then, if they have your best intention in their hearts, should they just shut up and let you bear whatever you are facing alone...just to "jaga hati"?

And lepas tu bila dah terasa sensitive...mula la pakai ayat "takpe la, nanti satu hari kena baru tau", as if you are praying that your frind (yang initially care for you...sebab tu sit on dengar your frustations in and out...sampai berbuih buih mulut tolong try make you see things objectively) will be in the exact same position as you are...macam hoping that the same misdeed will be born upon them as well...

I feel uneasy being associated with people like that...it is as if they are ungrateful. I believe that friends stick to each other and they always have your best interest in mind, and sometimes even when you don't like what they say or do, especially when it relates to yoyurself, no matter how painful, it's just another point of view to be considered from time to time. Kalau semua orang satu kepala je all the time we might all be robots.

Tapi kalau orang tak appreciate what you do for them, maybe its time to reevaluate where we all stand. No point holding up benang yang basah....kalau dia sendiri takut nak face tyhe consequences of their actions, maybe there is no point in even bothering to face it with them...

*I wish to post this yesterday..tapi fismate i sibuk nak balik...

Decorating the House???

A very close friend of mine, who just recently got married, sent a mail today asking around whether any one of us know a good shop around town that sell good (and affordable) wallpaper...

*Anybody know of a good one?? Holler me!

Peeps...they are starting to decorate the house already!!!!

I know Raya is a month away....and this is usually the time people scout around...I'm excited too, since this is the first Raya I'm going to have at my condo at Taman Tun, but then my excitement kinda dampens over the fact that;

1. It's a rented house - yeah, nothing much can be done to a place that is rented....buat penat je paint and everything, when the lease is up, kena pindah, then kena redecorate balik....kan memenatkan tu???

2. Its just me alone staying in the unit....well, no motivation since day in day out aku mengadap dinding je, nobody else...maybe I should consider taking up a goldfish....

3.Will be moving to a new house as soon as our (me & arif's la) house is completed....

**Arif bought a unit in Kelana Jaya, and I have another at Damansara Damai (dekat dengan my friend's house) in which is still under construction. Though my unit is not due to complete anytime soon, Arif's is expected to completed anytime this year...or at least before we get married (that's anytime before August next year...kena pindah lagi....sigh...

Of course, like all girls, i love nice things....I love nice curtains, nice wall paint, nice furniture....in fact, I make it a point that I don't care where we will move in once we are married, as long as I get to decorate the house at my terms (all-expense paid by yours truly, of course...hehehe...spoilt brat....ni pun selalu rasa macam tak disayangi, boleh tak?setelah begitu dispoilkan?). I can't help it bila I jumpa perabot yang cantik dan kiut miut...kaler terang...frame gambar (eventhough lately I never printed out a single photo, like it or not, I have 2 big frames at home screaming to me on a daily basis to be hung...still on the floor)....sigh....boleh tak?

I ingat lagi, last few months I ws so lazy, my mom fixed my house lepas I move in.That so can not happen anymore...I have to find time to fix the house...

Kalau nak kemas rumah tu there are a few essential things I need to have...like a place to hang all my bags (yeah, so many roaming around the house, sometimes macam tenggelam pulak semua perabot lain), a new sofa (and throw out the existing one....oh, that sofa is so old, jangka hayat dia dah tamat dah, patut aku buang je masa pindah last February), a flat screen TV (i love samsung TV) and DVD player....maybe a set of display cases and racks would not hurt too..the ones yang ada kat IKEA tu...so I can nicely arrange my books and miniature stuffs that I have been collecting over the years.....

Then again, as I pointed out....in less than one year, I would have to move out...so macam pointless la kan berdecorate sakan?

I wish I can move to a new place tomorrow...I pun nak decorate jugak!!!!!

A so-so day

Today is so and so....not too free, not too busy, nothing much to dwell about, not much to say...totally out of ideas...

Was thinking about commenting on the recently publicised 2008 Budget, but then it'll be too heavy, and I don't want to sound stupid talking rubbish in my own blog...(not that all this while I'm talking too much sense, u know what i mean...)

Another day to go to puasa day....Tina and I made plans to meet up at our usual hang out place for lunch.Almaklumla....soon there'll be no "breakfast" session for 4 weeks, then Hari Raya is coming....so I am not sure when we could hang out again...am so excited about it, I chill big time everytime I see her, heheheh...

**P/s; Tina, I am having the cheese tart now...jangan jeles...yummy yummy...

what happen to me last night???? hmmm....I left office at 9pm after my laptop hung (for I don't know how many times yesterday...fed up dy)....I couldn't be bothered with it anymore so late at night, so I pack up and left, arriving home just in time to catch Criminal Minds...yeah....i like...

After Criminal Minds and CSI Miami and Vegas....I went straight to bed....it was already late by then and Arif didn't want to come over to see me (he said he was tired since he spent the whole day in a board room with the bosses...hmmm....boleh percaya ke???).

Me, feeling slightly neglected and bored, decided not to dwell over the rejection and just go to bed. Yeah, my monday night sounds pitiful, but then, at least I am not at home alone with a cat, or a dog, or just a goldfish....that makes it sound even worse, like I am an old spinster...

Of course I am not a spinster...mind you!!!!I don't consider being 26 years old too old, or even old enough to be called one. Oops, there you go, I've announced my age...bugger....

I am wriggling my way around Facebook....it is an addictive place...patutla all this ppl dah tak nak bukak friendster....tu dah kire macam kindergarten games dah...

Anybody interested to add me on their facebook my email add is zabusarin@kpmg.com.my

Lagi ramai lagi meriah kan???

ok la, gtg...cya !!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Ake tak sangka aku digoogle...

Who the hell would want to google me??

But then today alone there are 6 google search specifically done under my name.....hmmmm....

That's for being number 1.3million something placing i suppose....

My Blog Ranked Worlwide...

This extremetracking system introduced by wawa is wicked....I didn't know that my blog is in fact so recognised....

one of the search engine...technocrati....tagged me under "raves" and listed me as number 1,372,336...hmmm...not bad huh???

I saw zie is somewhere at 1.8 million, hehehe.... puteri kurekure is even power, she's at 383,299th placing....kelas gitu....

ok la...back to work...

So what am I doing at the office so late on a Monday???

Usually I will be the first to rush back!!!

But I was assigned to download stuff from a dataroom site today...ok, no biggie....but then it's still downloading...it's taking a farking long time!!!Its 8pm...and I am soooo tired....

U rasa to set off me working late tonigh, aku boleh masuk kerja lambat esok tak???

Yeah, in my dreams....hehehe...as if they would allow me to do that....takpe2, dua tiga hari lagi dah start puasa....ko tengokla, pukul 5 sharp aku dah ciao, takde tunggu2 punya...hahahah....

Tapi agaknya sampai pukul berapa la aku tercongok kat sini? Nasib baik tadi aku dah makan dengan budak2 ni....ish ish....eventhough I am not hungry, my brain is actively thinking of CSI and Criminal Minds that will be on air tonight.

I am such a big fan of Criminal Minds Season Two on air at 8TV...sangat suspense...it keeps me at the edge of my seat like all the time during the show....

Tolong la abis cepat....mak dah tak tahan dah ni....

Have u ever been torned?

Have you ever sat at a crossroads of two very different choices, and required to choose one of the two?
have you ever felt so confused, so torn up inside, that you can't choose either?
What do you do?
I hate croosroads...yet to not have any choice at all is even worse. Some people make the practical choice to be on the safe side, some made emotional decisions, yet, have anyone ever wonder what will happen if they chose the latter?
Sounds greedy right? But I suppose its human nature to enquire to it. I suppose its part of survival that we have our own defense mechanism planted in our brains in every step of decision making so that to keep us from getting hurt.
But then if we don't get hurt we wouldn't have known the price we should have paid for something that we deserve...whether our choices had been good/bad...
People say that we should be grateful with what we are blessed, love the people who love us more than the ones who we love but didn't do us justice, count our blessings and be content with whatsoever fortune bestowed upon us (no matter how great or small)..but if a choice should be made despite whatever the circumstances are, can we doubt our past choices and make another that seems to eradicate which-so-ever earlier blessings? Would people understand what we would have done, or whatever that will be done differently?
Confusion, confusion...
Let's pray for guidance....hopefully this month can inspire us all to a more blessed way of living, and in making better choices...

Terlebih excited pulak jawab komen....on beauty

Hahahha!was entertaining kurekure and zie's comments on hairstyling products and make-up that I didn't realise its more or less like an entry already!!!!

If anyone is interested in my fav shampoo and make-up goodies, please see the comments in the last entry....i sangat teruja....

Suddenly it hit me....terasa macam promoter barang pulak kan?but then, where the heck can you know about bargain price and quality stuff if it's not from testimony of friends who have tried them?tak payah la susah2 jadi guinea pig nak test barang...kan?

I love trying new things, especially when it comes to make-up, as much as I love eating food. I use to spend hours at Stila's make-up counter in KLCC and befriended a promoter there, Joelle, who thought me a lot of stuff on how to make me look pretty and how to use all the things I buy from here. She even thought me how to create the smokey eye look, the daring look,gave me the tip on how to use the eyeliner for dramatic effect, mix-and-match colors.....sigh...now that I have moved to Taman Tun...I really missed her a lot.....since I rarely shop and drop by KLCC anymore.

(yeah, and also over the fact that I am on a tight budget control and I can not lavishly spend my moolah's anymore...so Stila is now a luxury....can only go there for refills....not extra extra...).

Sometimes I rasa i silap profesion....maybe I should be a personal shopper...tolong orang cari barang, beli barang...but who the hell want to hire me?? So till the time comes and I meet people who would do exactly that and pay me dosh, I will just have to equipt myself wth as much knowledge of fashion and beauty, and in between, try and test stuff.

Tapi maybe people would find my taste a bit funny kan...i recommend Stila and Benefit, instead of MAC and Bobbi Brown...kenapa???

I have nothing against MAC and Bobby Brown, in fact, I think they are very good make-up brands myself, but I love things that looks natural and can come in handy....means no bulky packaging/size, the packaging should be chic yet practical, on the go yet sassy look....make-up that can relate to day to day use, not the ones that make u look too perfect that it seems like you just step out of a magazine.

Nothing against that too...siapa tak nak nampak lawa kan? But I tried so hard before to cover up flaws in my face that it looks awkward, so after a point of time, i stop trying so hard and use the stuff that can me get ready in a jiffy and makes me look naturally glowing....so maybe I might not step out of a beauty magazine but I still look dazzling.

That's my aim...to awe people naturally. Then they look past my scars and flaws, and I am happy with the way I look...everybody's comfy and happy.Once in a while I do try very hard...time annual dinner ke, special occasion ke....of course la, semua orang go the extra mile then, kan? Time nak glam up baru i pergi cari MAC (sebab color dia agak glam jugak)....I tak pernah try Bobbi Brown, maybe one day.....

That's why Stila and Benefit work so well with me, because it's easy to use. I have so many of them I can open up my own beauty counter...hahahah!Elianto is a new addition to my inventories and I am loving it more and more everyday!!!

Plus I am allergic to Dior cosmetics, Clinique cosmetics (other than skincare) colors are too pale (I can only use mascara, eyeliner and some of the gloss, even then I still prefer others), Estee Lauder looks to old and Lancome is too dry.....

Would love to try...
1. make-up forever
2. Bobbi Brown (as stated above)
3.Skin Food - nampak macam best je....tapi promoter kat Cineleisure tu stuck-up gila, hilang mood I nak try. Next time la, maybe...

Facebook...

Tina had introduced me to facebook...and since after lunch I am kinda hooked on it...

Its more or less like friendster....but I'm still wringgling my way around it....not sure how it's going to turn about...kinda bored jugak kalau aku sorang2 je main benda ni....

In between I am downloading stuff from a dataroom site...super duer slow.... sigh!!!...and figuring how to work wonders with data that is forwarded to me since morning...

I wish Harry Potter is on my speed dial...

Was I away for quite some time...

Yeah... i was away since Fstriday....but hey, I'm back (again)!!! Doesn't matter where I went, things had been going on pretty well.

Arif and I cancelled our weekend Cherating trip that was supposedly to be last Saturday....I had things to do and he had a doctor's appointment....so, there you go, no more outing till after Hari Raya...

Gosh how time flies....it's now September, soon it'll be fasting season and after that Hari Raya, then voila, December will come knocking at our doors. Then we will all start wondering what we had done this year, what we would have wanted to do (like for me, I am supposed to get married...sigh!!!!) and what we could have done better....but let's leave that for later.

I have some interesting new stuff to share....new makeup, new bag, new shoes (oops...not yet mine...soon, soon...), I bet you guys would love to read on.

Nope....I didn't spend my weekend shopping (ok, window shop, and maybe just a little bit of small purchase here and there, so not considered shopping..), or at the gym (i wish to rest....so tiring) or at the salon (got a new tip from my hairdresser last week....wash my hair more often - like daily - 5 times a week with moisture shampoo, 2 times a week with scalp shampoo - so far my hair is getting better, plus I spend more time blowing it these days, so it looks much better than last week...). On the contrary, its more like a family week, a week with friends and people i love.

My Shopping Bag....

Ok la...I confess...I bought something.....

Nothing big....just a blusher and a handbag (I can't stop buying bags, can't i?). What did I buy anyway????

1. Blusher
I have to firsthand mention that my blushers were running out of stock, and I am in desperate need to cheer myself up and look bright and happy. The fact that I am running out of something that makes my face looks healthy and glowing can never be commensurated by anything else....I can done up tonnes of foundation and look fake without blushers, so babe, I need it desprately.

But my purse was a bit steep.....I have to admit, that I have other commitments. So I went to Elianto....anyone of you heard or use it?

I first new Elianto last November, when CLEO advertised their cheap eyeshadows....going for only RM5 each....so far I had bought 7 colours and very very happy about it. U guys should try them....its so happening....

But then now they have something new...called the "baked cosmetics" line....the colours and finishing is oh-la-la, very very VERY good....for RM18 is so worth the money I am trashing away for vanity....the colors is not too shiny but it exerts enough shine element to make you glow...I love the blusher in Golden Bronze...in fact, I end up buying two blushers last Saturday (of course, in two different colors). I wish I have more money, so I can try the baked eyeshadows, it looks so nice, and maybe I can don in some new fall colors, but hey, these days I shop with cash so there is a limit here....no money no purchase.....sigh!!!!but its ok....I still have eyeshadows (like a whole factory of it)......so I think I can still get by....

2. A Handbag
I drop by to meet a friend and saw a nice bag for RM50....what the heck, it looks lovely on my shoulders...so there you go....now, I am carrying it...

I also fell in love with this shoe.....but then no matter how much I loved it....I can't afford it coz I just pick up 2 baju kurung from Kak Siti (for raya, in which one was worn during Tina's engagement)...so , that shoe will have to wait...

3. A CLEO Mag....
I got bored in between waiting....even when I have a book in my bag.....that cost me RM5.60

Total shopping cost this weekend: RM92++.....not bad...

Hung out with Shaz (from school...known her wayyyyyy back) at Winter Warmers on Sunday, spent almost the whole afternoon there with her just chatting our hearts out. It was fun....can't remember when was the last time we actually did that....

Then we went window shopping (again???me???am I ever tired??? gosh I bet now you know the source of my exhaustion....catching up with all this) so we rounded up all the shops in the Curve. Ok, now I can proudly say that I did not buy anything, hehehe....but I do get a free membership in a newly opened lingerie shop, Fashion Banquet.

I believe that the shop is worth a mention. Their stuff is as nice as La Senza, and since Blush in Curve is moving out....anyone who wish to get a something something might want to check this place out. Plus the membership give me instant 15% off on all purchase all year round, ngah ngah ngah....

Another shop worth mentioning is COAST at BVII.Was there late evening on Saturday to meet our Ms Nicole Richie (so-called) for a cuppa and guess what, the shop just recently opened in BVII from the British soils. The gowns and corsets are to die for.....I was so excited, I make Nicole tried on 3 dresses...

P/s: Me in no mood to play dress me up that time...especially when I can't afford it...yet....

If you are looking for party dresses, this is the place to go. But then the price is a bit provocatice (since it's translated from British Pounds) but hehehhe....such price need to be paid to look like a million bucks...

P P/s: I wish I am bloody rich!!!!

Dinner with Arif's Family....

After my hectic (window) shopping weekend (amidst the other buzz that I don't want to talk about...what's the point of remembering pain anyway???), we had a quiet dinner at Arif's brother's house in Subang with the rest of the family. I was excited, I love his sister in law, she's quite a company, and it'll be fun to meet the kids.

But the kids were asleep when we got there....

We had satay, fried rice and ABC...with fried keropok I brought for them from Kelantan... delicious....

Well.....the weekend is a good one....

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Men are just happier people...

I receive an email entitled about...supposedly to be sent to "all men" and "women who can handle it".

Since we love replies (hmm....umbrella song by rihanna has umbrella/cinderella and sean kingston's beautiful girls got a reply from jojo)....so out of fun lets reply this one...hehehe!

Here you go....

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Simple???well, as complicated women are...men are also complicated lots...if you can't understand women nagging...can you understand men's one-word reply/remark???It comes with no emotions, no explaination/narration....nothing...just yes, no , hmm, ahh...tell me about being complicated creatures.

Your last name stays put.
Yeah...i believe that's easy...but we never bother changing names anyway. Besides, if u don't like you last name (like Focker in Meet The Parents), you are kinda stuck with such a damning name for the entire life, you'd be relief that you can change it, right???

The garage is all yours.
Take the garage man....we want the walk in closet...hehehe....and leave the kitchen alone, please, unless you are as cute as Jamie Oliver and can cook that good, be my guest.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Yeah, as long as you pay for them...hahah..

Chocolate is just another snack.
Damn you!!!!

You can be President.
Hmm...I believe women can be president too...its just that men are not ready to be lad by us yet...they have these man issues need to be resolved. Till you guys are tough enough, we'll let you lead the nation.

You can never be pregnant.
That's a pity right? Arnold Schwazzeneger seems to like being pregnant in one of his movies...can't remember what the title again...its such a gift. Besides, God already say that man can't bear the pain of childbirth, so you are excused...hehehe.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Yummy....imagine a girl topless ina waterpark? Men may not be able to handle it...the rule simply there to protect you guys from constantly feeling the erection when seeing countless topless babes in a waterpark. besides, we love wearing tops...and who said we can't wear white?

Car mechanics tell you the truth. - ok ok...u win....but nowadays we have women mechanics too...and we chics don't take crap from another...

The world is your urinal.
OMG....go get a toilet bowl pls.....so not clean....

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
Again...cleanliness...do I need to say more? I know men who can't stand an icky toilet, and he's not gay.....why should you tolerate substandard toilets?

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
I never ask that q...not all girls are that dumb.

Same work, more pay.
Maybe, maybe not....Donald Trumps right hand man is a women...she got paid more than a lot of men....

Wrinkles add character.
Well...some guys are just horrid as they age, not everybody looks like Richard Gere.

Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.
Well, who cares? You're tux is not sequinned with diamonds...besides, i dont think Brad Pitt's or Tom Cruise's tux cost a hundred bucks...men too have expensive suits....so in defense of women, we pay more to look better....and if we want a hundred dollar gown, we can have one that doesn't have diamonds or pearls beaded on it...its just a matter of preference.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Really???I like staring at Matthew McCoughnahey's chest....its so sexy...

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Well, the occasional well-rendered PMS are allowed to us too....

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
That's a lie!!! Hahaha!

One mood all the time.
Seriously?U must be joking? Never felt overwhelmed and angry at the same time?

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Like talking to my boss...hahahah!Yeah, you guys have not much flair in communication, we understand....that's why you guys have us, right???

You know stuff about tanks - why bother?

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
I have one suitcase for that too...its just that when we don't dress up you guys will start grombling and comparing with the beautiful locals....so we end up with a bigger suitcase...that's all....all in the wortd to make you guys happier....

You can open all your own jars.
I can do that.....the trick is to use rubber bands...don't you all know?

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Yeah...because men are generally thoughtless.....its fun to have you guys being thoughtful once in a while.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
I never hold grudges when ppl dont invite me....what a lame one...

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
When La Senza is on sale, u can have 3 thongs fror below $5 (that's in USD) and i believe if you want to save...there's always cheaper options at bulk shopping stores (Carrefour, Jaya Jusco etc).

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Maybe....I know men who has more than 40 pairs.

You almost never have strap problems in public.
We never have erection problems in public...hahaha!

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes - because you are wrinkle blind....hahahah!...or you have moms/amah's who crease them all away....without us you are wrinkfull every day hahahah!

Everything on your face stays its original color.
Michael Jackson did not?

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
That's so ancient....it'll work only with the geeks....go skip thru your photos over tha last 20 years and see how many changes you have made...i can bet that there are at least 3 changes in a decade.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
Yeah...pitifully....

You can play with toys all your life.
We have toys too...hehehe

Your belly usually hides your big hips. - hahahah!

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
I have one favourite too....but we girls prefer a few, so that in case we can't work a color, we have options....

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
And risk the look? I know you are keeping it inside....

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
Jungle style...and leave it rough?Tell me when you have interest in women's roughly done nails...then they'lll start complaining that it's not sexy and all...men.....and u say that you are simple and not complicated?

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
We have freedon of choice concerning growing hair...period. The lady with the moustache in the carnival decided to keep hers.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. - no wonder I always wonder how my uncle end up choosing what he chose for me...very not thoughtful....

No wonder men are happier - yeah, right!!!

Oh Hell Just Farking Shoot Me!!!!

Damn!!!

Lady bos (big big bos) amat marah....her wrath is seeping thru my veins and I feel so quesy ever since I got her mail befor lunch! Macam phoenix rising! I lost my appetite, my focus,my motivation....rasa nak lari je.....or hide somewhere, but then, I did not feel that I did anything wrong, so kenapa mesti i menyorok?

Kesian arif...I was feeling so uneasy, I had cut our lunch date short and insisted him to send me back to office...I only nibble on the two bits cheese fingers and a cup of hot milo for lunch....sangat sangat resah tak tau nak buat macam mana.

I dah fed up with this project...it was so messy...entah hujung pangkal mana ntah yang land on my desk and we all have to desperately come up with something out of nothing (literally)...kalau aku akauntan tempat ni....2 minggu agaknya dah mati heart attack (hmm...ntah macam mana la orang2 kat sana survive, I wonder...).Sekarang ni kecoh pulak, hidupku yang aman dah tiba2 bergoncang..sigh!!!!

I felt that justice is not done on me.....but I tried my best...so I have to make them see that.

Lagipun...if it were up to me...I would have thrown away all the rubbish that they sent to us....but everyone (the bos, the client, the accountant...hmmm....everybody) insisted that all had been passed through...everything we need is there...where in fact, only God knows that nothings is ever delivered as expected and we have to rummage through scraps!!!!Dan kami yang kucirat ni la menjadi mangsa keadaan.....sigh sigh sigh...

I hate to talk about bad news....its not lovely, its not positive....but buck up!This is just a hiccup!You are better than this!There is nothing to be scared off!

**See...aku yang nampak amat confident ni pun sebenarnya penakot jugak...sigh!!!

Over the years I found difficulty to express my opinion to people who has more authority than me...macam lack of self-esteem...but I am trying my best, in learning better ways to communicate. Bukannya apa, sometimes I don't feel comfortable of explaining things to people who seems to look at you with a judgemental eye...it is as if they are skinning you alive before you even explain yourself...

I need to meditate (or chat more with Tina) to calm myself....
Agaknya ni semua side-effects of being in audit....it either make you emotionally strong or worse, emotionally scared....I happen to get the latter....entah manager mana ntah yang buat aku macam ni, dulu masa sekolah takde pun penakut macam ni (oh now I recall one very scary Lion Lady...aargh...the thought of her pun still pass me shivers down my spine).

Nak blog tapi Arif is on the way....

I tak suka kalau kena cepat2 blog.....kenapa nak rush?

Walaupun banyak inspirasi (sampai tak tau mana satu nak tulis)....terpaksa la i put off to later sebab arif dah odw nak pick me up for lunch.

I know...i was angry to bits last night...but despite of just sulking and went straight home, I called him on my way back, pick him up at his place in Kelana Jaya...and went to clinic and dinner with him...

See...I ni baik hati jugak...

Till later, cya peeps.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

My Fiance Bummed Me Again

For the (i-don't-know-how-many) times now he's bumming me again....

We made plans, he happily go on with it...last minit dia tukar fikiran!

I takde mood la...

I tak larat la....

I ----- la (fill in the blanks....I heard so many excuses dy anything is possible)...

I can't help but feel exactly the way my father treat me...no offense, men always say that they are not like that, being so full of themselves....but this is the exact feeling that my father had been giving me (crap!!!) for years...sigh!!!!

People say people tend to end up with someone who is a mini product of theirs fathers....tapi takkan la macam tu kot...tak fair la!Sampai mati pun the cycle doesn't end....mati la kalau bapak abusive then hubby pulak abusive...then later what...anak lelaki pulak abusive to their future wives?

Year after year (hmm...or is it boyfriends after boyfriends???), I keep on retaliating from being a doormat (meaning to just telan whatever I don't like...walaupun sekali sekali terjadi jugak)......sekarang ni dah jadi tunang orang kadang2 rasa macam can not help it pulak jadi doormat. I tak suka okeh asyik cancel2 je....ape ni...janji melayu pun sejam je lambat tau!!! Lepas tu kata I tak understanding la...can not accept the fact la....huarrghhh!!! Complicatednya!!!

Dah la, aku nak balik!!!Alamatnya dok umah, tgk TV and tido lagi....

Cya all tomorrow!

My Wandering Mind...

I was bloghopping (in between chatting with ika and rummaging through the files to catch up with the updating bit I'm suppose to work on) when I found a story of a broken heart.

To come to think about it...this is the first broken heart story I've heard in weeks (except the bruahah's we all know about in early August...ish ish...nasty..), and as I read through, I can't help but feel emotional as well.

*Lama dah aku tak emo ni....terasa nak mengalirkan air mata pun ada.

Well, to those who are suffering from broken hearts out there, just try and remain calm and take one day at a time. I understand that no matter what people say, or do, to make you happy, it's a turmoil inside there....and only one person knows what's happening inside best...that is you!!!Keep strong, because seriously, you wouldn't know how strong you are till you are tested, and believe me, if there is a will, there is a way.

I had my share of broken hearts too...well, life won't be colorful if there's no pain in it right?Of course, we adore the rosy bits....but every rose has its torns....

After much consideration and deliberation, I realise that my past heartbreaks are among the things that made me stronger, and that there is no point in pointing fingers as to why we broke up.....the relationship simply just won't work because it won't work...no matter what the circumstances are. Call it a cheating boyfriend (or you cheating them), a rejectful parent, a third person...every circumstances arises from a ripple effect of the environment (a cheating bf may wander because he feels inferior/superior/lonely, a rejectful aparent may prefer another candidate etc)...so nobody is entitled to 100% blame on a bad outcome of a relationship....everybody (or everything) contributes something... so why bother holding grudges and keeping bad memories?

**hahah...sometimes out of fun...suka2 goss ngan friends....tapi kalau 24 jam asyik mengutuk ex partner sampai over a month penat jugak kan???its draining okeh!!

Tapi what's in the past is in the past...and we shouldn't let the past drag us down kan? We should define the moment, make the best out of it, move on.

Maybe make it a turning point to achieve new goals...

When I broke up with my ex last year...it was so messy, I wish I can just appear in another time quantum (where parallel life exist and this thing never happened) and live another life, where what had happened was just a bad nightmare. But reality was cruel...they have no loopholes to allow me to do exactly that so I went on...a day at a time (while confronting my ex's psycho try-to-make-up-but-if-u-reject-i-keep-on-harrasing-you antics) and lay down a fresh set of rules for me to follow;

1. I don't want a relationship like I use to have anymore - so no turning back (heehe!I turn back 4 times with that guy....the 5th time, I met arif, my eye opener, the rock that stood beside me, and never look back....damn I love him).

2. I am going to make myself better - I want a better life - better job, better social involvement, better family interaction - so I need to work on that. That took my mind of a lot of things....my focus to my self-actualisation goals - and attention from arif, hahaha, I have a rock that stood by me, lucky me!. Since then I changed my job, I move to a new home, I got engaged - so far its been better than before, when the relationship is always on a rollercoaster, and me, not knowing how I might end up - despite the day to day ups and down, I feel blessed.

3. I want stability....that's where my rock comes in....again, arif, you make me feel truly blessed.

*arif, arif, arif....ni break up heartbroken ke ape? well, i do felt heartbroken....then i dok makan hati a few months dy before we actually broke up...my ex ingat i main2 ok....sigh!!!

I learn to live with the past, let go of things...come to terms with how stupid I was....and that it'll be a lesson for me (damn...wasted 3 years)....but then if it doesn't happen maybe I won't get to where I am now, right? So pro's and con's ....lets just look at the bright side. In a way, it does make me a better, happoer person.

So see heartbroken peeps....when all the turnoil is over....it wouldn't be that bad.

Sure, there will be lonely nights, and times when we wish that certain things happen in a certain way...don't we all have that, even if we never felt a heartbreak?People who are happy all their lives would at times wonder what would happen if they make a certain decision differently, how things can be different....it's just part of being human. I enjoyed the company of friends and family while I was at my utmost fragile, and it gave me enough comfort to confidently take my next move and carry on.

And its not wrong to cry...if it makes you feel wayyyyy better. Rather than driving yourself nuts trying to pretend to be happy when you are not. Don't worrry, people will understand....they have to!!! (right gals?)

Ok la...dah terlebih membebel2 pulak...orang semua dah keluar lunch ke?

I'm Back!!!!

Macam enthusiastic je hari ni balik ofis...tak sabar2 nak kerja..heheh.

I'm still coughing, which is NOT GOOD...sebab dah over a week I'm coughing like a hag, still tak baik2...on another note, the coughing is as not as bad as it use to be, so I am not feeling like my throat is being bombed everytime I cough...

I think lady boss thinks that I am sick because I am so stressed out...coz the last 2 weeks I was succumbed to a never-ending updating rollercoster in office...tup tup end of the week je i demam....but it was not the stress...really...i rasa its just the weather, everyone around me is sick with something, maklumla, durian/rambutan/manggis season...(i read somewhere that malaysian fruits are cursed, coz they can't go thru a season without actually bringing a disease or another.....see????)....not to mention the never ending rain day in and day out. Semalam time I call dia she was saying "it's ok girl, u don't touch anything, I have updated it...pity u stress out so bad, sick already"....sigh.....what am I to say?

But I did my best...sakit2 pun ku usahakan jugak...hahaha...kena la motivate diri ni sikit....kalau boleh last monday i tak nak mc...tapi doktor tu la...bagi ubat mengantuk tak ingat...i nak bangun pun tak larat.But I think I have ample rest....asyik tido je manjang whenever I hit the sack...alang2 kat umah je tido....so ok la sikit.

But still, I am going back to see the clinic today to get this cough checked. Mama dah risau, dia kata mak long suruh check sekali lagi sebab tak abis2 sakit je manjang. Well, she has a point. Hopefully its nothing bad.

Today I have much to do....have to go thru the things my other lady boss just handed me (you guys will be hearing about a lot of lady bosses...all my bosses are ladies except for one...hahahah!!!).She just flew the Perth (and left me here...sigh!!!) and I terkedek2 catch up with the materials she left me coz I know nothing about what they were doing earlier....I tak soka masuk train lambat ni, tapi nak buat macam mana, kan?

Ok la...since I have a lot to do...cya peeps later!