Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Fear of the Truth...

Some people are just scared to face the truth, I feel that they sometimes misinterpret the intention of friends and family....who care and responded to their every whim....


Is it bad for a friend to tell someone they care the truth....the obvious fact that they are avoiding? Isn't a good trait for a friend to be frank and honest, no matter how hard it is?


Throughout my lifetime I've seen friendship crumble because of girlfights, boyfriend fights etc...the saddest part being friendship forsaken just because a person is hurt by a friend's remark...so called insensitivity...but then, if they have your best intention in their hearts, should they just shut up and let you bear whatever you are facing alone...just to "jaga hati"?

And lepas tu bila dah terasa sensitive...mula la pakai ayat "takpe la, nanti satu hari kena baru tau", as if you are praying that your frind (yang initially care for you...sebab tu sit on dengar your frustations in and out...sampai berbuih buih mulut tolong try make you see things objectively) will be in the exact same position as you are...macam hoping that the same misdeed will be born upon them as well...

I feel uneasy being associated with people like that...it is as if they are ungrateful. I believe that friends stick to each other and they always have your best interest in mind, and sometimes even when you don't like what they say or do, especially when it relates to yoyurself, no matter how painful, it's just another point of view to be considered from time to time. Kalau semua orang satu kepala je all the time we might all be robots.

Tapi kalau orang tak appreciate what you do for them, maybe its time to reevaluate where we all stand. No point holding up benang yang basah....kalau dia sendiri takut nak face tyhe consequences of their actions, maybe there is no point in even bothering to face it with them...

*I wish to post this yesterday..tapi fismate i sibuk nak balik...

20 comments:

Wawa said...

truth can be hurt sometimes.

to know and to reveal.

so that's why we tried to avoid telling the truth or knowing the truth.

ironically la kan zue, kak ika's latest entry is also about friends and insensitivity.

i always believe that a friend should always tell the truth to another friend.

one might get hurt in the process, but that's what friendship is all about.

the only thing is that the way the truth is being exposed, told.

that's when sensitivity comes into picture.

i have a friend who has now become some sort of foe, just because i got hurt by the way the friend told me the truth about myself.

the friend somehow was so sarcastic.

however, i feel bad about it when i read you entry.

now, i think, perhaps i should apologize to my friend for being a jerk.

i am still hurt with the words though.

Zuraida said...

Sometimes we force ouselves to not see what's clearly in front of us because we are either confused or afraid...

or we simply fail to realise that what we did is the consequences of our own actions....and all the way, we are warned of possible things that might happen...and when such thing occur and infavourable to us, we choose to ignore...

that's part of being human...ignoring something is part of our defence mechanism..

and sometimes, our friends voice out our fears to help us face them...

it's normal to feel hurt...its even normal to retaliate, but again, to trash a relationship over something stupid is pitiful

to deject your friend who simply had a good intention, and later still won't face the truth over your own actions is just as wasteful.then when all is done, who else is left to be your anchor, critic and friend?all that is left are either those who really patient (depends on the extend of the occurence) or the ones who would never care to speak up.

at least now i know that this particular friend did not want to ever face the truth, and rather that everyone who cares shut up than owe up....i don't really care anymore...its not my life.

i can only wish that person to have a good day, and now stop at that.

mom of 2 said...

u can tell the truth to ur friend or talk about anything to ur friend.. hw u wana talk to ur friend, dat doesnt matter cuz different ppl differnt style of advising.. but only between u n her.. personal girl's talk.. not to the whole world whreby the whole world knows who are the specific parties involved. indirectly, u are humiliating ur own friend

Anonymous said...

hafta agree that girlfrens shud tell the truth to each other rather than talking behind each other's back or knowing about the truth later. Which hurts more? I rather be hurt now n know the truth than being given the cold shoulder before the truth is being revealed. Just imaging that yr girlfriends hates yr guts and u continue doing it with full oblivion. Cant blame them on how they tell u off, cos obviously they are having a hard time deciding on how to let u down without jeopardizing the girlfriendhood. Tell u wat, in the end its just gonna be u alone and thinking bout whatda, coulda n shoulda if u don’t listen to your girlfriend. Think about it : )

ps: me just a happy blog hopper...ok next blog please....

Zuraida said...

Dear anonymous,

well said...couldn't have said it better...

a friend to a friend said...

anonymous,

agree that girlfrens shud tell the truth to each other rather than talking behind each other's back or knowing about the truth later. dats why we have gfs,for us to share stories, exchange opinion, shoulder to cry on n etc.

but telling your friend the truth by publishing it in blog by quoting names and let the whole world read and know evrything bout ur friend's in n out,is dat appropriate? arent gud friends suppose to keep secrets esp the darker side of the gf dat u are trying to protect?

i had a friend.. she did d biggest mistake in her life. i dowan her to be in the wrong path forever, so i brainwashed her. she couldnt take it and avoided me for quite some time. she came back to me n cried in my arms after realizing evrything. but as a friend, i did not spread or expose her mistakes, problems and her darker side of her story to anybody, not even a soul! ohw, only to my hubby n mom (couldnt keep secrets from these 2 :P), besides hubby n mom, it's only between me n her..n thank god evrything is fine nw..n she has a new life witout a single soul knows bout her nightmare.. the greatest mistake of her life.

if a friend suppose to tell the truth to another friend by exposing evrything to the whole world, i dono wat will happen to the world, man... meaning, there will be no more true friendship cuz it seems like there is nobody that u can trust. n the word "secret" will be dropped out from the oxford dictionary!

in conclusion, u can do anything to make ur friend knowing the truth, either talk nicely, or prefer to kick her, scream at her, scold her, or anythingla.. as long as it's btween the 2 of u. not by spreading it to A, B, C, D & bla bla bla... and especially via internet ie blog or other internet devices cuz d whole world can access to it. sick rite? and dats the reason why i dont have a blog.. cuz u intend to misuse it witout realizing it n cn harm u back.

to all bloggers, if u wana talk bout ur personal stuff, just talk bout yourself in ur blog.. can talk about others as a lesson to others, but u dont have to quote names rite? esp wen it comes to ur own friend, family, or your other relative.

get wat i mean?

happy fasting!

the end

Zuraida said...

brainwash???...

teringat zaman kat asrama dulu-dulu, hehehe....bukan setakat brainwash, pulau pun ada...

TiNa HusSaiN said...

in my opinion, one can write just about everything she wants as long as she's not spreading any painful lies or rumors..blogging is not about pleasing people.

everyone has their own views. if u disagree with your friend's opinions, then face them and talk about it. no point running around refusing to face the fact.

sometimes, people overreact. and they rather let go of their friendship instead of mending things up. such a pity.

and to think that zuraida telling everyone thru her blog? come on la. berapa ramai sgt yg baca blog dia compares to ppl who actually witness her 'wrongdoings'... senang-senang je nak point the blame on other ppl. i've had enuf of this kind of people..seriously..

and yeahh, BESTFRIENDS ARE PEOPLE WHO SAY THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR! So, suck it up!

Zuraida said...

I am so baking u a cake, u insane glowing bulb...heheheh

a friend to a friend said...

wow tina.. u seems to know her so well.. how did u know her? r u a friend of hers? or through blogging? or hearing? :)

i quote ur phrase,
"berapa ramai sgt yg baca blog dia compares to ppl who actually witness her 'wrongdoings'..."

how many u guess? do u know? have u seen her? me, myself never c her.. i doubt zuraida too.. lucky u! so, stop exaggerating.. n add some spice in it. tak psl2 buat dosa di bln puasa..

btw, hw many hit counters in dis blog? from 900+ to 3000+ in 1 month! wats dat suppose to mean? or maybe zuraida is super glamour.. maybe.. i dono..

nvm la.. i dono u tina.. dont even know zuraida.. but i do know my poor friend. she has dis bad character of trusting ppl so easily n i guess she trusted zuraida n dat explains hw zuraida knew her stories frm d beginning witout even witnessing it. but too bad.. nw tina knows..n i wonder hw many ppl knows directly or indirectly (through blogging).. n hw many spices had been added into it. only god knows..

the word wrong is subjective. depending on hw ppl define it. if it's wrong for her, let her deal it by herself.. m her friend.. thr's nuthing i can do besides advising n protect her as much as i can.

m sorry to interfere in ur blog zuraida witout invitation.. c.. it's d power of blogging n mouth to mouth dat reached me here. sorry, if i said sumthing wrong. n nobody is perfect..

wassalm

Zuraida said...

again...friend to friend...what's the point of fighting when it is not your fight???unless you are the one...

rule is simple...dont like what u read, dont read it...not writing to please anyone.u dont have to agree with me, but if you want to burn down a house, take it elsewhere....enough burning because of one stupid incident...

for all that has happened, its not worth it

Zuraida said...

p/s; kata tak kenal tapi berani menilai....hmm, what set of weirdo's u come accross from time to time bloghopping around...take de kerja ke?

TiNa HusSaiN said...

aaaahhh, the beauty of blogging is well-defined here.. hahaha...

i know zue for the last 13 years.. so yeah.. maybe i trust her more than the rest of the lot...

i dont write blindly..i just write according to what i hear..and in this case, i trust kak zue.. so, are u gonna put the blame on me plak this time? not that i care though..

and babe, i think if you have issues with zue, why dont you confront her..going anonymous wont solve anything..if you think you are right, then there's nothing to lose, right?

gosh, this is too much drama for the first day of a fasting month! hehe..

Zuraida said...

yeah...for all we know semua yang anonymous ni is actually one person...

maklumla bloghopper, mana baca house rules aku kan...lain la yang regular...

mom of 2 said...

sudah2la..

dont hav to fight. let it be..as long as evryone happy.. with wat they r doing

friend, no nid to argue here. sampai kiamat pn tak hbs. private email is more than sufficient d n i undrstood.

Anonymous said...

a friend to a friend,

oh ye ke. it was being blogged. damn! anyhow, the *secret* that was blogged was it already a public knowledge? anyways m sure there was a trigger point for such action, takkan la gfs sanggup cam ni to each other.

WOW! u keep track of the owner's hit counter??

oh well, dear owner ur blog is so full of drama. have a good ramadan with ur love ones. I wish u all the best in everything u do. TA!

Rafirah said...

Gfs are forever, Bfs are whatever...that's the way it's supposed to be. If your gf can't understand that, then to hell with her ..senang citer..Btw, kawan ko sorang tu makin melampau pesal...ingat satu dunia takkan tau ke pasal dia? BERANI BUAT BERANI TANGGUNG!

Zuraida said...

Sabar raf sabar ...

kawan aku yang mana? ;!

burried in the far deep end of the closet already....

TiNa HusSaiN said...

hahaha..i like this raf babe!!! cheers! :)

zie said...

Cayalah raf.....girl power..I sokong u 100%...Zue..just stay the way you are. Benda yg salah patut ditegur pung ye dak? Even that it's hurt..