Thursday, September 20, 2007

When Love Had Sucked Me Dry....

I hate fighting...I hate the shouts, the frustration, the crying....

Being me, when I am too angry, I just shyut down and stop listening...I just cry my ass off...and that is what happen everytime I fight with my partners (existing or in the past), and at some point, I felt like there's nothing worth fighting anymore...that I am better alone than having any one of them with me.

I hate being a doormat...giving countless chances after chances, that later prove meaningless anyway.It just makes me more confused, more frustrated the next time it doesn;t work out...and I am the type that builds frustation till it reaches the bomb...when I just freak out, pack my bags and leave.

And I am almost freaking out now.

That is so not a a good sign...

I keep on trying to convince myself that when a relationship doesn't work out, its nobody's fault. But I haven't got the guts to just let things go..it's the stupid questions of "what if" again...what if this is a mistake?what if this is not a mistake?sheesh...love is complicated...i envy those people who can easily decide who they end up with, then just have kids and live happily ever after.

If only I could just run away and dissapear....

2 comments:

TiNa HusSaiN said...

babe,
chill okk..biasala tu, bila bercinta, things like this happen..just dont make decisions when you're angry ok? otherwise you'll come up with things u'll regret later on..
*hugs*

zie said...

Zue...cool down okay. Biasaler adat bertunang, memang banyak dugaan dier..Be patient kay