Sunday, February 10, 2008

Depressed...

That's how I really really felt right now...is it my doing???Partly. Tapi my fiance just had to have a nervous breakdown and suggest calling off the engagement....

Kalau nak sangat putus silakan!!!!

Dia ingat dia sorang je boleh ada nervous breakdown....aku tak boleh???

The long holidays kick off very well with having mommy around and all....I didn't spend the weekend at mom's place because I have to work, so I sent Ani and mommy home and was back in town by the end of Thursday. Menyesal aku balik KL balik....tiap2 hari aku tunggu bagai nak mati for the email that is supposed to be sent to me tapi tak sampai2...buang masa aku je....

At the end nothing much can be done. What I already have is practically rubbish...but that ain't the problem...

You see, I had a bar of Dairy Milk Cadbury in the fridge that I had been dying to eat...just to find out on Friday that Arif had raided the fridge and ate it up! It was half open when I got home....

So I had a fit!!!And we fought for 2 days over the farking chocolate bar. Seriously, when a girl needs her space paham2 je la and give her space kan???

Yesterday was the showdown. He came over (unannounced!!) and I ignored him (again...orang tengah marah kan...) then dia start kena high blood pressure!!!Among all the times he had chosen then and there to have high BP. Aku nak sakit hati tak boleh, nak marah tak boleh....at the end I decided taht I need to get out of the house...

Tapi dia dah sakit kronik tak ingat...so I sent him to the hospital.

FYI I hate hospitals...the steril smell, pain and suffering anywhere...sigh....it's the last place on earth I want to be.

So I got more irritated...and I believe after a while I have this look of disdain that kinda plastered over my face. Not that I can help it. So I start nagging...the next thing you know, all I heard was him saying "If you walk out that door kita putus...consider this over" (or sort of la...can't recall the exact words).

Boleh tak???? Time2 macam ni dia nak break ngan aku.

Me (obviously very pissed) took my bag and left. Yeah....I left him at Emergency ward. I'm not proud of it...but seriously, kalau aku stay kat sana lagi nanti aku pulak mental, tak pasal2 aku pulak hospitalised.

So I took some time off. Shut down my handphone and spent the night at a friend's house.

Today...I came home with dozen's of voicemails (and sms's) from him (and my mom) and a wrecked living room and bedroom.

Zarina's wedding ornaments and a few mugs pecah.Clothes flying everywhere.75% of my makeup (most of it blushers, eyeshadows and powders) are all scattered and broken...no longer usable.

Thanks a lot!!!!

I am definitely numb at the moment and in no capacity of thinking straight apart from work. Thank goodness he hasn't found my scissors....ntah2 kalau dia jumpa abis semua baju aku koyak-rabak.

Psycotic siot mamat ni...susah sangat ke nak paham yang i need personal space from time to time , nanti orang dah cool down ok la balik.

And to make matters worse dia dengan happynye boleh call my mom cakap esok dia nak pergi umah putuskan tunang.

Seriously kalau nak buat sangat, have the guts to tell me straight to the face first. At the end, we had a long talk this afternoon, then masa "having a talk" tu tak nak pulak putus.

I'm giving him 3 months.Kalau 3 bulan lagi aku rasa macam ni lagi that's it. There is no turning back.

4 comments:

puterikurekure said...

alalalalalla......
jangan la cenggitu. sekejap je tu.

TiNa HusSaiN said...

kak zue,
hmmm.. this si why i never come up with decisions when i'm angry..
dont worry babe..dia tgh marah tu, im sure he didnt mean what he said.. plus, it's been an exhausting week kan.. chill ok?

zie said...

take care Zue. I know you will survive

aishahlita said...

life's not a bed of roses, nothing is fair in love and war, patience, communication ---i guess just writing key words will also end up to a long story -- as always, i hav given u your space and as a mom i always pray that will all the education, values & experiences u gain thru the years-you will always be able to make the right decisions in life...my only reminder to u--always keep in your heart that i am always here for you, your mom loving you as always...Come home when you need me--i'll be there for you--take care..lov you....mommy