Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sinking Deep

Did I mention that the last few days has been bad?

Well,I hate talking about it.

No,I am not having problems with arif.Before anyone starts speculating about a rocky relationship (waduh,macam kat tabloid pulak) I would like to first announce that so far my relationship with arif is A-OK!

Its just me.

I'm sinking into depression.

It's just one of those moments I feel insecure,and stupid.And most times out of focus and out of tune with myself.

I can't eat,or most of the time did not feel like eating.Which is so not me.

I can't sleep.

Half of the time I felt like crying.

Since last thursday I cry when I listen to the radio, I cry when I hit the shower,I even cry myself to sleep.

Today I cry during cool down at the end of my yoga session.

Thank God I didn't burst to one of those loud sobs.Tears just stream down my cheeks.

Sigh.

Then there's this feeling as if I am losing my mind.One moment I am crying like a mad women,the next minute my mind went point blank then I didn't really know what I was up to and what not.As if suddenly I am emotionless.

That's a bit weird.

Sigh.

I tried to be strong.I tried getting myself occupied.Since yesterday I had cleaned the whole house (yeah, on top of running for an hour and another hour of yoga at the gym),did my laundry and hit the gym again earlier today.

*thanks to my stepmom who practically ruined my much needed sleep, but that story is for another day*

I hope I will get through this soon.I hate being depressed.

I hate feeling this way.

4 comments:

~LIZA~ said...

babe, if u really need to talk about it u know how to reach me right?

*hugs*

Zuraida said...

yeah.
hugs.

zie said...

Babe....u can holler me any time of the day, kay...NO worries...Take care.

mummy+son+dotter said...

hey babe, wats up? hope evrything is ok by now.. take care!