Did I mention that the last few days has been bad?
Well,I hate talking about it.
No,I am not having problems with arif.Before anyone starts speculating about a rocky relationship (waduh,macam kat tabloid pulak) I would like to first announce that so far my relationship with arif is A-OK!
Its just me.
I'm sinking into depression.
It's just one of those moments I feel insecure,and stupid.And most times out of focus and out of tune with myself.
I can't eat,or most of the time did not feel like eating.Which is so not me.
I can't sleep.
Half of the time I felt like crying.
Since last thursday I cry when I listen to the radio, I cry when I hit the shower,I even cry myself to sleep.
Today I cry during cool down at the end of my yoga session.
Thank God I didn't burst to one of those loud sobs.Tears just stream down my cheeks.
Then there's this feeling as if I am losing my mind.One moment I am crying like a mad women,the next minute my mind went point blank then I didn't really know what I was up to and what not.As if suddenly I am emotionless.
That's a bit weird.
I tried to be strong.I tried getting myself occupied.Since yesterday I had cleaned the whole house (yeah, on top of running for an hour and another hour of yoga at the gym),did my laundry and hit the gym again earlier today.
*thanks to my stepmom who practically ruined my much needed sleep, but that story is for another day*
I hope I will get through this soon.I hate being depressed.
I hate feeling this way.