Friday, January 30, 2009

I hate this part right here....

Over the past 24 hours, there's just so many things that has been said and done that I just hate that it had happened. Sigh. Not that I want that to happen intentionally, but at some point those are actually issues that need to be addressed.

To come to think of it, a wedding is a double edged sword. At times, its a dagger. It can either make a marriage, or break a marriage.

I hate to broach the subject but aren't issues best addressed before the heading for wedded bliss rather than after?

Some must be handled at present.


So as I discussed with Arif my confusion and issues, I can't help but be sorry for the poor guy.

There he stood trying to make sense of my babling nonsense and asking me one ultimate question I can't answer...

"So, where do we go from here?"

There's a phase when everything was so queit. I am at instance at lost of words and not sure what I should do or what I want.

I credit the fact that he do love me. That he tried his best to please me. But somehow at some point it seems like there's a missing piece of me out there. Everytime I tried to speak up I fear of dissapointing him, the family, my friends....and the list goes on. So its kept bottled up inside.

But then I can't wait till after the wedding night to talk about it either.

So I had been bidding time. Trying to not think too much.

Trying to not think at all.

But that's just stupid.

I should have talked about it 6 months ago. Or one year ago. I should have said something....

Jeez....this is awful.

I don't know whether its the right thing to do (or otherwise) but I can see the hurt and dissapointment in his eyes.

My eyes have hurt and dissapointment too....the thought is overbearing.

Nak buat macam mana ni??

On Food Diary...

The question is....should I maintain one???

Ini semua akibat entry Ninie. In fact, she's not the only blogger in cyber space who maintained a diet log, I found a few others (like Madihah) who scripted their daily eating habits and activities in cyberspace as part of a diet effort.

To some extent, I understand where this is coming from. The idea of tracking calories to achieve a target weight/desired physique is a conventional diet effort.....where back in the old days we normally just track via diary/written journals.

I tried the conventional way a few times but lepas a week I naik malas. Hahahaha. But going through Ninie's food journal aku rasa bersemangat pulak...

Its damn interesting when u put piccas in it! Hahahaha!

Which brings to this entry...should I or should I not?


*Tapi segan la......*

So far my diet and working out have been showing signs of improvements. A few collegues who had recently came back from the long CNY break had commented a slimmer face and smaller hip size. Phewh...that's rewarding. Especially when you run an hour a day for 3 days (last Saturday, Sunday and Wednesday) on top of the one hour body combat class and 10 sets of sit ups. So far my stamina is getting better - as in I manage to go for 2 session of non stop running a 3 in 2 cross ramps without losing a breath and sandwiched the Body Combat class in between. I have to say that I definitely feel more energy this last couple of days and it will be great for me if I can keep it up.

I wish I can catch up with yoga by Monday. The normal training schedule will be back only on Monday and the CNY schedule is a bit off my time frame, so till then I suppose I can only catch up with cardio lessons.

*Jo, if you're reading this, I am trying to stick to your at least 3 day a week at the gym resolution....hahahah...i see that its showing progress and I like it. So anytime you are there buzz me okeh!*

To come to think of it, maybe I should start a food log. It might be interesting....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Nasi Lemak Village Park Uptown...

Aku tau aku on diet...but then what the hell, hahahahaha....

Pagi tadi dah gigih dah masuk ofis dengan salad satu tupperware, siap boleh masak hard boiled eggs lagi, but then as lunch time came everyone wanted to go out, and I just hate to be a spoiler kan, so I am pushing my salad to dinner. Sigh. Takpe la.

After much discussion on where we should go for lunch (and boy its a long one....dari yee sang, to Just Thai! then Hainanese Chicken Rice and whatnot) at the end the group decided to go to......the famous Nasi Lemak in Uptown @ Villge Park Restaurant!!!!

*Sorry la no pics. Tadi bos2 pun ada....takkan sibok nak tangkap gambor pulak kan??*

By the way, the restaurant was crowded! But we still manage to get seats , most probably because its still the holiday week and there's not much of a busy "career people" crowd like normal days would be. Even getting a parking is a breeze.

Since I am a beginner here (yeah, tak pernah makan nasi lemak kat sini....selalu dengar2 cerita je), I apa lagi...order one whole set of Nasi Lemak with Ayam Goreng and sirap bandung for drinks....

Though waiting for the food to come is hell....but having a bite of the crispy ayam berempah is a trip to heaven...I like, I like, I like.....hahahaha.....all the grumpiness masa tengah tunggu tu hilang sekelip mata bila makan nasi lemak dia. Sedap. Hahahaha...

*Ke aku yang terlebih lapar and dah lama tak makan nasi lemak???Ntah la, wallahu-alam*

What can I say???

If you are a nasi lemak lover than maybe you should check this place out. And the price tag is kind to the wallet as nasi lemak with ayam and sirap bandung only cost me RM9.60.

Apa lagi?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

When time goes by damn slowly...

Its Wednesday...its suppose to be the day of the week when your heart leaps sky high at the thought of the weekend coming in less than 2 days but then, I'm striked by the blues. The long weekend definitely made me feel slightly off balanced (too much food, to tired to the bones....wish that I still can wake up at noon...sigh) and I just wish I could have taken the rest of the week off...

But then tak boleh sebab nak save my annual leaves for March.


The thought of the wedding date being so close give me the jitters...

I have to admit that I am starting to get cold feet. In fact, my feet is almost frozen already. I feel no shame in admitting that I am scared of things to come, and that I think too much of possibilities and the what if's that could have happen if I had done certain things in a certain way...

The best advice I got the whole day was...

"Just don't think too much about it and go with the flow...."

Hmmmm...that's what I have been doing all this while and it has brought me this far, would I regret things later when I stop the "not-thinking" and start "thinking and took a step back" instead??

Ok, I am on the verge of paranoia! Where's work when you need them???


Thank God it's just another hour to go before the end of the day...


There's a lot of things to do later after work. For starters, I need to run down to Puchong and send my nikah outfit for tailoring. Nothing fancy. Just a normal baju kurung. I am getting the same tailor who did the tailoring for the garments I got from my engagement day about 2 years back (yeah, in which I had just recently sent for outfitting...crazy right? Simpan kain sampai 2 tahun) and while I am there, can pick up the garments I have sent earlier since my tailor said its all ready.

He took quite some time to put additional beadings to my plain skirt. Sigh. Not that I need it in a hurry. But then ok jugak la kan its ready by now so I can use it for my pre-wedding shoots at Nuril's studio on the coming 9th.

Then later I am heading to the gym to catch up with yoga and my daily run.

*yeah, again....sekarang ni there is no excuse to skip the runs.....*

I will definitely get pretty tired when I reach home later. So don't expect me to stay up that late.

That sounds like a plan. Though my newly acquired book , InkSpell, is also screaming to be read, I am still a bit frustrated that I can't get my hands on the 4th Twilight book.

*Ini semua salah arif....again....sob sob*

I hope tomorrow is a better day. I hope I won't feel as bored as today.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

My warm and sunny saturday....

This post was about yesterday, coz I love last Saturday. Its so warm and sunny and I feel glad that I did what I did yesterday....

*wink wink...not that its anything out of the ordinary....*

I woke up pretty early coz I am suppose to meet up Liza for breakfast at Bodega....only to wake up to an sms about a raincheck. Sigh. Not that I am eager to go out, hahaha, so more sleeping time for me. Hahaha. But I can't seem to go back to bed.

My next appointment is not till 10.30am, so since I can't sleep anyway, I pull myself up, put on a swimming suit and hit the jacuzzi.

I have to say I love being in the pool coz the weather is neither hot nor cold, and the sun shine a fuzzy warm glow that makes you feel, aaah...fuzzy inside.

Then later came the girl (who has a golden olive tan) in a bikini.

*Oh, me green with envy. Seriously, I long to be her, but people will turn purple with motion sickness instead, and that will just kill me*

Despite feeling slightly intimated (count in low self esteem, under-confident, wishing I have that skin and that I refuse to give up the pool space and spent an hour in the pool. And guess what, I think the swim did me good.

I feel refreshed.

That's very good.

I should do this more often.


Besides the warm sun, I am loving the Saturday Body Combat Class at the gym and vowed to do it again next week. So get ready to see me hitting the gym on Saturday noons for the next couple of weeks till they move the scheduled class out. Since I didn't leave town for my mom till later today, I have been spending extra crunch time at the gym (yesterday and today, mid you) and had been sweating myself out to compensate the gym days I have been slacking last week.

*Yeah, with the wedding coming up very soon now, what other excuse can I use to (again) skip gym time?*

But all seems to be fruitful, because when I got home today my sis complemented on my "reduced" body size, hahahaah....ok, I have to admit, I have gone down one dress size from 16 to 14 (yeah, I tried gowns at Coast today, and when I use to wear size 16 last month, today, I have to ask for 14.....kan best kalau dapat turun to 12 by 9th Feb??), so, I am taking my sis's complement at face value. Hahahahaah.

*Apa yang aku mula merepek ni? Back to warm and sunny saturday...*

Fast forward 24 hours now I am here at mom's. I missed my bestie's, Rafirah's, birthday party yesterday but then, I was flushed (with the workout and the wedding preps) and hit the nightcap quite early. Sigh. I wish I could have been there, but I was too tired. I am not so sunny when tired, so I RSVP'ed out of the party early so I won't spoil the others having a good time.

I hope they have a good time.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Babe! Don't be mad and hopefully I can catch up next year.

*huge grin*

Will be at mom's till Tuesday...sigh....till then, have a warm and fizzy holiday.


Friday, January 23, 2009

The CNY rush...

Though I don't celebrate CNY, I can definitely feel the adrenalin rush, as people all around me buzz in excitement. I can see people everywhere, busy minding their own business and catching up with last minute prep...

Like at Blook yesterday picking up "the" outfit...

Like at Jaya Jusco last night jammed in a very long que to pay off groceries....

Like at Nail Parlour today, where it was full with ladies of all ages, lining up to have their mani/pedi done for the new year....

There'e people everywhere!!!

I manage to get my groceries done in amidst the buzz of people, since I myself don't want to be stuck at home with an empty fridge during the festive season. Who knows, the grocery line might be getting worse after the 4 day CNY break that starts tomorrow.

I have also manage to slip in an appointment at The Nail Parlour @ OU during lunch hour, and guess what I have "the" PERFECT pair of hands since last mucho mucho mucho happy!!! Hahahaha. Its been ages since I got my nails done (obviously!) and the chipping ends of my 2nd and 3rd right nails are driving me insane!!!Nasib baik Komala dengan baik hatinya book me an appointment during lunch, otherwise I would be subdued to less than perfect nails again till next month.....


Not that its big a deal. They're just nails. But then I need to start giving extra care from now, coz tak lama lagi kan nak sarung cincin....hahahahah *gelak keji* takkan nak biarkan kuku burok kot??? I even bought extra care treatment add on to be applied as base weekly to avoid chipping and add strength to my nails...


*Sokanya hati*

Maybe I should consider signing up for their package of buy 7 manicure at RM180....hmmm...tempting....


Anyway, I manage to pay a visit to the the new Charles & Keith boutique at One Utama and guess what, I am loving it!! Hahahah!! There is definitely more choices compared to the Pavillion outlet and I found my nikah day shoe!!!!

*It is just perfect for my nikah attire...sigh....even Komala approves, and she has good taste! So must buy!*

Harusla tomorrow aku tunggu pintu C&K bukak awal2 pagi to grab it. Not that I don't want to grab it today but then kena la tunggu the high over my manicure ends first kan???


I love fridays...its such a good day!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

10 day result....

Ok, its au natural that I freak out over how heavy I am with the wedding date being less than 2 months away. So I made a quiet resolution since the last 10 days (yeap, around Monday last week) to stop fooling around and go serious with my HL diet.

*Post holiday weight after last xmas is not something to be proud mom made my weight jump to 75kg (again!) thanks to her cooking heavy meals 3 times a day, and me, happily obliging to eat whatever she cooks!*

As I step on the weighing scale I can't help but smile...

At 8.30am this morning, I am officilally 71.7 ....thats 3.3kg down. Thanks to 2 shakes a day and one normal meal.

*And I have to count in the cheating I did over the weekend where I took only one shaken and two serving of rice a day - one for lunch and another for dinner - coz I so tak tahan nak resist the masak asam pedas and nasi semua salah arif!kalau tak aku mesti dah 70kg by now!*

So 3kg in 10 days....i have at least a month to go, and that will be around 9kg to shed....end target weight is about 63kg.

With this I officially am not gonna bum my liquid diet for the next 30 days. At least not till the official pre-wedding shoot on the 9th of February.

I am having jitters. Mampu kah ini bertahan?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

What A Day...

More crap...


Wish I am not around to even hear anything....

If there's any job opening anywhere kindly do buzz me....

Kalau la bapakku sehensem ini...

Anak mana tak cair???Daddy sangat.......cute!hahhahaahah!
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Monday, January 19, 2009

Fortune Cookie...and other random thoughts...

Yeah, Chinese New Year is back!!!!Hehehehe....which means to say so is the mandarin oranges and fortune cookies...

I grabbed two fortune cookie from the pantry today, courtesy of Ultimate Big Boss, and one of it says...

"You are gifted in many ways...."

Gee, thanks.

Not that I am a big believer on fortune cookies but I don't want to go all Freaky Friday about it, and realise that somehow I swap bodies. Hahahaha....well, maybe the new "industrailised" version of the fortune cookie doesn't hold much power to teach you a lesson in that sort of way, hehehehe.

Before I forget, I wish to wish all my chinese friends "a very very very Happy Chinese New Year". Though there are challenges looming ahead, lets stay hand in hand and brave through it like great winners....


I got hold of my 3rd twillight book....and my dream of budding romance between Bella and Edward continues. Frankly speaking I wish that Jacob but out and leave the two lovebirds alone but then, whats a book without rivals and competition to juice out the readers appetite?

So far, I am already halfway and loving it...

Tak kisah la kalau orang lain tak suka pun...hehehehe....

I had a long and tiring weekend. I went up and down Melaka town to meet up peeps from Astana Cindai and frankly speaking, I am not that enthusiastic. But then since my mom vouched for them and insist that they will make a lot of things easier, I give in. Takpe la. As long as at the end things are in order, and the quote is reasonable. Talking about quotes, they still have to get back to me on it since they need to budget on some things. Sigh. Takpe la. Let's just wait and see.

Last weekend we went about town looking for a bed for wedding day as well. Oh my. I can't believe the price tag of furniture in Melaka. Its extortious. At the end manage to find one that is more or less reasonable, and hopefully my mom will be able to manage top knock down the price when she get to talk to the owner who will only be back in a couple of days.


By the time I reach KL I lunyai macam sayur. I spent the whole day yesterday resting and reading.....


Oh sukanya hatio bila semua mandatory e-test dah complete. yeay!!!It's an annual thing, and though its due by Friday, I took the time earlier today to complete it just to check it off my "to do" list.


Now I am thinking about a manicure, a pedicure and a massage....


Bila la nak ada masa to pamper myself??

Friday, January 16, 2009

A silver lining for the day...

Did nothing much.

I bloghop (not many people updated) - checked emails (no interesting mails/mails that keep me busy) - bloghop again (still nothing much interested me) - had lunch (oh a lil bit of highlight for the day) - went back to my seat and did the exact same thing I did earlier today...

And in between I got sucked into an infuriating argument with si cik abang tunang and boy, me not liking it.

Tapi takpe....

Kerana En Tan is passing to me GG2 episode 10 to 15 today! Woohooo.....harusla malam ni aku bawak laptop balik, and berkurung sampai esok pagi mengubat hati yang lara.

*p/s Liza : sorry can't make it malam nanti....kena settle isu ngan arif (lagi) dan hopefully I can still catch up with my yoga class*

I will not forgive him if I missed my 3rd and 4th twilight book at MPH. Sumpah aku naik gila nanti.

Downright bored, sleepy.....whatever....

I wish I am at home in between covers on my bed.

So far, the day has been quite a bad day.


Anyway, I finished the last page of my second Twilight book, New Moon, and eager to get my hands on the next two books, Eclipse and New Dawn, which is in stores today.

*Oh I sudah confirm with MPH and its there!!! I am putting my recently acquired MPH member's card and RM5 voucher to good use later!*

A reason to be enthusiastic still I am having mood swings.


Getting married is not as rosy as it was ever painted to be.

I wish I'm single and carefree now.

Having second it a good thing??

The question remains.... how do you know for certain that the person you marry will be "the one"?

That this one marriage will be forever?

How can you trust a person as much as you trust yourself and believe that with that trust he won't hurt you, in any way possible?

I believe the answer to all those questions is not whether he is the right person but more to whether you believe/ and have faith that the one person you have chosen is the right one.

Hmmm....does it sound so difficult?

Technically, its simple. But nobody ever says simple things are easy to get and dealt with.

I found out that being hands on with the wedding preparations (especially the finances) shows your partner's true color.....and after the things happening (good or otherwise), a bride can't help but revisit the questions earlier brought to attention but carelessly waived away in momemts of pre-marital bliss. No wonder parents insist on oraganising the wedding themselves and leave you out of it. There's just to much pressure.

*But then tak fun la kan jadi living mannequin?? *

In a way I am happy that I insist on being hands on in the first place....

Trust me, its a good judge of character. It's like a fast-track class to knowing who you are going to spend the next few decades with till you die and that, may bring you to a fresh new question...

"Can you live with him after all that you have been through, in good and bad , sickness and in health?"

Sometimes, it makes you just wonder.

Call this pre-wedding jitters or whatever, but second thoughts or not, there are issues that needs to be discussed, confronted and dealt with...before its too late to even have a voice over it.

Before you start to regret.

Sure. I am feeling the pressure. And I don't know what to do. I am just hoping for the best.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Fine things....spoils from yesterday

Arif picked me up after work yesterday so that he can drive me straight to Ampang Park to pick up this....

*Alas dulang hantaran.....Oh I love fine things...cantekkan???*

Tersangat la excited....whoever knows how my dulang hantaran might end up. But the alas is quite pretty, i soka sangat.

*On top of 9 pieces of alas dulang, I also picked up the baju be sent to the tailor, hopefully very very soon...*

I was so happy that I smiled from ear to ear all the way back to PJ. Like my WP, Nazira, quoted last time I saw her...

"Senyum panjang sampai nampak 32 batang gigi"


I showed the pics to my dear friend Joanna at gym later and I am glad that she find the newly acquired alas dulang quite exquisite. Her nod of approval axed out every single trace of guilt for splurging on it.

Hahahahah....yang penting happy!

By the way, I passed most of the girls in my wedding party the kain to make out their outfit for the Kelana Jaya wedding. To respond to Izwain's request to see the material at hand (so she's prepared not to throw a hissy fit in front of me when I pass it to her if she loathes it...hahaha...kidding!), I am displaying the pic of the batik printed satin cloth I picked up for my girls.....

*Babe, seriously, you can turn it into a pareo if you want to. And the color is not so bad*

There are more wedding stuff to be done on Saturday, so it'll be pretty hectic. Sigh. Bila aku nak rehat ni???

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I found this quote from here......

"whatever you put in your system,you're going to see on your face & body"


I found it scary...


Coz seriously, if I am to sit down and assess every single bit that I chuck inside my body....that will be a lot of sugar and carbs. Usually this two things doesn't make you look that good if taken in excess.


But I don't think the quote applies to only food. I bet stress plays a role as well. Not that stress will drive people to eat, even if you are not eating but just all stressed can see lines and frowns everywhere.

Somehow it translates to....

Let's not talk about it. It's soooo depressing.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

La La La La la...

After a week in Bangi, today...I am back in my KL office. *huge grin* Gembiranya dapat duduk kat meja sendiri, ada phone line sendiri...with all day internet access.

*No matter how great other people's office, it sure feels great to be back at my own space.Hahahaha.Grounded*

The day has been a-okay, workload has been bearable and there was nothing much to be dealt with except cleaning up the report we were working on here and there.

Obviously I took the time to catch up with the rest. Latest buzz as follows:

1. I'll be bunking with Pei Wen for the Ho Chi Minh trip. Since I am not officially married yet till March, I can't register arif to tag along with me as spouse. So this year's annual trip I will run solo. hahahaha.Single kejap di perantauan for 3 nights. Yoohoooo!!!

*hopefully I am not pregnant yet by then. Tak best la jalan2 then morning sickness at the same time kan?*

2. Found a new interesting read while bloghopping. I was curious over the lash of character recently committed by you-know-who and checked the "victim" out. Despite the fact that some people take offence over her post in a pair of bikini, I don't see anything wrong with it. I personally admire her guts and instantly love her when she quote...

"Stop trying to change your bodies to live life, just go live it. If you want to rock a bikini, don’t wait till you’re thin, rock it now!"

She has a very good point! Because ntah2 if you wait till you're stick thin it would never happen. Not to say that you can't lose weight, but then if you view yourself fat no matter what your body size is you will still see yourself fat though you're thin as a stick. Sigh. Then you will lose out and never get to do the things you want to do.

*Maybe I should get myself one hell with the bollocks kan!I ni sangat pemalu orangnya...tak pernah beli bikini. Kalau ada pun stock dulu2 my auntie yang belikan.Of course, I won't torture you guys with pics of me in bikini. Tak pasal2 nanti tetiba glamer pulak*

And since she write so well, I added her to my bloglist.

3. I received an email from an SR on her concerns that I might be starving myself to lose weight...

*Again, weight issue*

Wow, tak pernah I dapat email macam ni, and its so heartwarming to know that out there, there are people I don't know on a daily basis who actually care about me. Pada mereka2 yang juga agak concern over my "weight dillemma" tapi segan nak hantar email....


Okey, that might sound a bit ironic coz I always write about being guilty eating so much and what not tapi seriously, my friends (and collegues) will be happy to testify that despite my yoyo dieting and what not, I never starve myself. Reason being I ada gastric problem, so I mesti makan on time.

My problem is always overeating.

I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am sad.

The challenge is to control the portion in order to get an ideal weight. That's what I am always guilty about.

So no worries. Me love you mucho, and me love my body too. Even if I am dying tomorrow I don't think I want to die hungry.

4. I have earlier approached a photog (recommended by Alia, which is attached with Janggut Touch from Ipoh) and considered picking them up since I can't get the earlier photog I wanted (sebab tak available), when suddenly Nuril who had recently done my casual pre-wedding shots came up with a better quote.

Aku mula lah goyah.

Sigh. I have to run this through Arif. By the way, I am still meeting up with Nuril much later to talk about his offer.

*Apa ni pendirian tak tetap?? But then I suppose it happens kan, especially when it involves the ability to cut down $$$$. Dah la in the brink of gawat ni*

Oh sudah pukul 4 petang. Hari ni boleh balik awal, and maybe start catching up some gym time that I have missed....a lot.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Many random things....

The dinner last Friday night was superb!!!

I had a lot of fun. Despite a quite discouraging news that was brought upon us during the department meeting....everybody was having a jolly good time forgetting it and making things as normal as possible.

We end up being very loud and cheerful...

*Yeah right. Loud is definitely true. We yamsing non-stop for Zu Lyn's upcoming wedding and boy....somebody almost had to strip!*


I sat for my kursus kawin last weekend.

I have to say that apart from the formal procedures bit that I think is a good thing for newlyweds to be well informed about...the rest of the syllabus is a total bollocks.

We practically had gone through every single bit of it when we did our Agama Islam papers in school and in uni (minus the 18sx jokes.which i think shouldn't be shared in the first place. Seriously......I don't need to know how the ustaz approached his wife on the first night...get it??). Besides, 90% of the attendees are below 24 years old (sumpah tak tipu, i checked the sign-off sheet. Yeah, aku rasa a bit tua sitting for the talk, but then again, there are a few other akak that was born on 1977, so I suppose I am not the eldest!), so they above all people mesti ingat lagi syllabus kat sekolah kan.

*Unless they never pay attention in the first place. But then, takkan la kot? I remember back in my days, the took ages to finish biology class and islamic studies classes when we are going trough the topic of pembiakan and perkahwinan*

I personally think that if they had kept things "professional" it could have been done in a day instead of 2 days. Seriously, no matter how many times that they stress that the course is important, it became less objective and more useless when they aimlessly talk about relationship break-ups and sex.

*People even sleep through it! I finished a book!Darn! If I am to listen to all this crap about relationship, they should it make it more like an Oprah talkshow....then it would be more interesting*


Anyway, just to amuse you guys....a pic of me last weekend...




Because of the course, I missed Elaine's lunch treat and Yi Yen's farewell at Telawi Street Bistro. I have to admit that I was quite envious when I heard all the fun stories this morning on the way to work with Haresh, Chi and Joanna....but then I know that if I had joined them on Saturday night, I won't be up so early in the morning on Sunday.

Coz the party ended at 4am.

Oh! Ruginya....


Here I am back in ofis....

I feel fat and bloated....and that calls for my HL thing back! I skipped the whole program for 3 weeks now (since two week before christmas) and I freak out yesterday when I can't fit into my favourite pajamas.

*Gilo! Pajamas pun tak muat???*

So here I am. On detox. Yeah yeah yeah...cakap je la aku hangat2 tahi ayam. Tapi as long as I can fit back to whatever I have in the wardrobe I should count my blessings coz sumpah, aku sangat pokai (and expected tu terus go on pokai sampai March) sebab banyak duit keluar for the kalau nak harapkan spare cash to get myself new stuff to wear...don't!


Elok jugak. In a way I am forced to lose weight.hehehehe....


Oh, I saw a bargain Coach bag at FashionableBargains. Geramnya!!! Nak je beli.

Tapi tak boleh!

Ekonomi tengah merudum ni. Nanti nak guna duit pergi honeymoon lagi, Palawan lagi (with my buddies in which I went to Phuket last year) and Ho Chi Minh lagi (for this years department trip....subsidised okey, aku suka!!!!) ...... so NO SPLURGING TILL JUNE!!!!!!

*But the bag is screaming for me....I can hear it screaming my name!!!.....Sigh.....*


Oh, HL tea ada perisa baru....bila la aku nak try ni???

Kena cepat abiskan stock kat umah dulu.....

Friday, January 9, 2009

Free Food...Again...

I officially declare this week as "the Eat Your Ass Off till You Blow Up" week.


Because due to the fact that the current team member (including manager) loves food, we have been eating quite well. Plus there was the free team lunch last Wednesday (with was sumptuos and satisfying) lunch tonight at Boathouse!!! The new promotees from the recently annouced promotion list is treating us food and booze.


Not that the booze is important. But biasa la, since I have a lot of chinese collegues, its kinda a must for them.

I just go for the free food.

*Macam mana nak diet ni??? I.AM.NOT.GOING.TO.FEEL.GUILTY!*

On top of that, one of my lady bosses is buying lunch tomorrow for the whole department!!!

Isn't that swell??

Too bad I have to sit in for my kursus kawin. *ke nasib baik, phewh* Kalau tak free makan 10 course lunch set jat KLGCC.


Bila cakap pasal makan bersemangat je...

Anyway, you all have a great weekend k!

Ramblings...and More Coach Bags....

Enough talk about my crazy wedding's bad enough that a lot of people now think that I actually hate my future MIL. But then, I need to make one thing clear before things get worse and everyone gets the wrong idea...

Though people (especially my MIL) drives me crazy....I DON'T HATE ANYONE! Despite my mom's constant nagging (never-ending change in mind), I love her so much and I feel blessed that she's around. I bet she had a hard time coping with my wimp. Hehehehe. And though my future MIL is a drama queen, I believe that one day we will get along fine (yeah, I am an optimist...I always see good in people first....not that it's a good thing all the time, but it surely keep me feel down less) and hopefully this is a standard hiccup that all brides faced before the actual big day.

*Sis...I love you too...heheheh...just in case you think I am too much and driving you insane....remember, I bought that Pink hot water bag in fluffy pink cover from La Senza for you with matching juicy pink socks....remember?? wink wink*


There you go. I hold no grudges. I intend to put everything in my skeleton closet, bury them deep, and smile and worry that I age more gracefully and have less (or better still, no) wrinkles when I hit 45.

*I know, that's ages from now. But prevention is better than cure*

To start my bright sunny Friday (yeah, I am definitely in a good mood today), I am lining up new Coach bags that just make me drool with longing...

*Pics courtesy of CoachNMuchMore*

*Coach Penelope Signature Shantung Shopper in Black*

If I had found this bag last month (time bonus baru masuk) when I drop by Coach @ Gardens, I would have ended with a rental nikah outfit (or something less sequiny or beady) and grabbed this instead. It comes in Gold and Blue as well, and I think its just deliciously perfect for a girls shopping day out.

*Cuz Bailey...if you are reading this....can you buy me one of this? It's definitely cheaper than the watch you bought Jov, and we can set it off with next year's xmas pressie??? Hahahahah!- if only!*

*Coach Penelope Op Art Shopper*

This bag reminds me of Gwen Stefani's LAMB bags, but instead of checkers, we get the white imprinted C's. Cantek kan??? It comes in Ivory and Khaki colors as well, but I think black looks the nicest.

Ohhh....indahnya dunia if I have money to splurge!!!!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

So many things, so little time

My calendar is cramping up for the next few weeks....jeez....who ever says that bride is not busy and duduk melenggang je is clearly mistaken. Newsflash, these days you have to be in it to get what you want.

So in between working my ass off on my report (hahahaha....exaggerating!) and knocking on HR's doors for my single status confirmation to be re-issued (I don't understand the hype...issue je la the stupid lettter, as if susah sangat nak confirm aku punya single status...terang2 belum kawin kan), I was unconciously sucked into the wedding blackhole when my mom started talking about pelamin, house deco, the katil pengantin yada yada yada and the list goes on.

And now tetiba je aku freak out.

The thing is my mom nak tukar plan (lagi) and suruh check out astana cindai....apparently they could do the pelamins and deco cheaper and they are really experienced in handling it.

*Yeah, I googled them. They are featured in So that's a recognition good enough for me to give them a second thought*

Bila aku dah start freak out mula la aku start going through the budget again, looking for potentials again, in which is seriously....

Sangat. Memenatkan.

*kenapa la we can never stick to one plan and go on with that???*

I haven't even started with the fact that my mom wants to shift the nikah time again...

*Dulu nak buat malam....tapi kata tak banyak masa sangat and then my MIL pulak penat (yeah, dia asyik bagi alasan penat if...), pastu buat lepas asar, then still complain tak banyak masa, and then sekarang nak buat lepas zohor pulak.....seriously, kalau nak ikut timing semua orang la kan, sampai mati aku tak kawin, and tengah hari buta time matahari tegak tu....panas ok! Tak mau. Kalau buat pagi pulak kata awal sangat. Ok, that's it. Aku tak kira.Buat lepas asar jugak!*

I think if this goes on tak mustahil aku pulak kena heart attack. Dia ingat aku ni apa, patung berhias...orang kata A buat A, orang kata B buat B.


*Sorry meletup sekejap disini. Paranoia is kicking in. This is bad*

Anyhow I am giving my mom some benefit of a doubt. Since I have to find a make-up artist anyway to do my make-up on the nikah day, I might as well check out what Astana Cindai has to offer and maybe they can beat my budget and give us one less headache to deal with.

*Ye la, if they handle the pelamin and fresh flowers settings, then I won't have to worry about shipping the flowers down from KL, so that's one less pain....but still, it must stay within the limited budget I have, of course*

So I called them and set a sit in on the 17th.

There you go. Another weekend away.

MEME Letter

I am tagged by My Dear Foxy Farah....

Never actually done this this before because seriously....sangat panjang....but then to fill in the void in my life, here it goes....

Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear ________(the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .___12___,

-Your name-

Just fill in the blanks on top based on the answers you are gonna choose below.

1. What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Hate your guts
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain

Dear Dayana:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your sister. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me With George Bush and his wife and I saw you sit on the crazy monk. I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful I felt. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your grades from college as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of the incarnation of the eskimo.

Go and drown yourself,
-Zuraida a.ka. Kak Zue to you!!!-

Hahahah...Dayana, seriously....u sat on a monk???

I hereby tag;
1. Dayana - for being my muse, I know you have a do it!
2. Lilia
3. Miss Tepung - for speaking up after so long
4. Fieza - for being so queit...what happen to u???
5. Alia - I hope you're sis get's better and you are no longer in the hospital...

Oh I'm Loving my McD Breakfast!

Dulu kononnya kononnya tak mo la makan McD for breakfast. Tapi sebenarnya I love McD's breakfast set, especially the Egg McMuffin and pancake!Kalau boleh nak makan tiap2 hari.

*Though the coffee sucks but its just normal coffee kan...*

So it came to happen that on the way back from work yesterday we went pass 2 McD outlets at the hi-way, and my current boss I am working with love's McD breakfast this morning we end up at a drivethru....



And since I don't have much heavy stuff to deal with today, I took my own sweet time enjoying Mc's while I key in stuff to my laptop.

Oh...indahnya donia....

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Makan buffet....

We had buffet lunch at Equatorial Bangi tadi....oooh, so delicious. Dah la dah lama tak makan buffet.

*Huge grin....bila perut kenyang all is good*

So technically normal lunch became a very long lunch. Nasib baik bos job baru ni sangat sporting. Dia pun makan sama.

*Hehehehe....on client's tab. Suka aja. No pics though, tak bawak kamera. Nanti dok tangkap gambar pakai hp camera macam jakun pulak...heheheh*

By the time we get back I feel like bursting to bits and pieces (sebab perut penuh nak mampus) and I was on the verge of sugar high bliss, I can feel the adrenalin pumping and tetiba je jadi aktif.

*There goes my diet, blown wayyyy out of proportion. At this point aku dah macam malas nak fikir dah about losing weight. Such a bummer to be looking forward to the big day and be depressed about weight issues. So I am burying the hatchet and pushing it wayyyy deep in my skeleton closet (with the rest of my other "unresolved" issues) and vow NOT to WoRRY about a single bit of it or feel guilty*

Its 6pm and I hope everyone will pack soon. With my stomach so full (and still heavy), kan best kalau dapat tido in between my comforters and stacks of pillows. Sigh. Syurga dunia. But of course, bila bos dah belanja makan dia expect semua orang kerja keras la kan. So tak boleh complain lebih-lebih.

Buat kerja cepat!


Owh its already Wednesday. Cepatnya masa berlalu. It feels like yesterday that I dread to be back to work, and know its just two more days to go to till the weekends starts. Hooray!!! Plus Friday ni makan dinner free lagi, since there will be a promo do after work.

*Asyik makan je budak2 department aku nih*

Tak baik la tipu diri sendiri kata I'm not looking forward to it...because I am looking forward to it.



Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Back to work.....

After a brief weekend, here I am....back to work.

I suppose life goes on as usual. Despite the fact that I have a lot of things in mind (unresolved issues, wedding preparations etc), the world does not revolve around me. To feed myself I still have to wake up early in the morning, get ready and go to work.

I still need to do what I am paid to do.

Not that what I am doing is anything bad. Tapi biasala, when the holidays end (and you feel as if it wasn't even a holiday because you are so busy with a lot of things), a slight dread linger. Kan best kalau cuti tanpa henti??

Last weekend was a bit tight. I still dwell over my wedding preps arrangements (mainly things to settle for the KL wedding, agreeing stuff with my fiance to be agreed with my MIL) and rest.

Though seem like oblivion, I did manage to get some rest.

I did went to MPH @ OU last Sunday and after much thought, grabbed a copy of Twilight and New Moon by Stephenie Meyers. Ingat nak beli the whole set, but they were out of copies of the last two titles and I suppose if I took my time to read just before I go to bed (since I am still having sleeping problems till now), it might take a while before I finish both copies.

Was I wrong.

I started Sunday night (before bed) and by the time I doze off last night, I am already 300 pages over Twilight.

Very bad book to make you sleep. It keeps you reading on and on and on because you are so entranced on how much love is in the air between Bella and Edward.


I bet by next weekend I'll be done with New Moon. Then I will start to wriggle in agitation because I would want to read the other two books but can't get hold of any of them.

*It's not even available in Manila till end Jan....they ran out of stock too. Believe me, I got Baily to check for me*


*Kan best if I can just stay at home now and my dreams*

But since it's back to work again and holiday is over till the next 12 months.....let's not screw the beginning of the year by lazing.

Back to work.

Friday, January 2, 2009

X'mas Party and The Holiday I Unselfishly Spent on Wedding Preparations.....

The holiday has been quite okay, in a way I manage to get a lot of things out of the way and my wedding preps one step closer to complete....

*If it has been up to me I would die to be with Jo in Hong Kong...sob sob....tak soka ni stuckkat sini!!!!*

Anyway, in mood of X'mas....what's the point of sobbing my heart out???

*My X'mas tree at the dark*

*My X'mas tree and pressie's awaiting my mom and siblings.....*

So better focus with things that I need to settle and make the best out of the free time I had.....

Which leads to.....

1. Hantaran Shopping for Arif - checked!

This, I enjoyed my heart out. Browsing from one shopping mall to another, I picked up things to fill my hantaran trays based on his wishlist, which includes a set of toiletteries and perfume from Bvlgari, a man bag/wallet/belt set from Bonia and shoes and tie from Valentino Rudy.

And due to the sale! happening about town, I manage to save a couple of bucks and get this....

*shoes from Twins....the pink ballerina flats reminds me of an adidas flats by Stella McCartney, only 100 bucks cheaper*

On top of that I got another pair of stillettos from Lewre, a top from Forever 21 for X'mas party at Nikki's and a Jazz CD.

While lining up for Auntie Anne Pretzels' at KLCC (which I haven't had for ages) I manage to get this....

*If you look very hard you can see my cik abang tunang almost lost in the crowd in KLCC's O'Brien's counter*

I love X'ms deco...

*Look at the Ginger Bread Man!*

*Oh, one of my photo moment. Arif dengan bosannya melayankan saje....*

2. Get a florist!!! - to be revisited

My mom and siblings joined me last Monday after X'mas, and we started the hunt for the florist for my nikah day.The downside of having the solemnisation ceremony back at Tampin is that fresh flowers is a hard find and even if you manage to pre-order them, it will cost a huge dent over the budget

*Especially when it comes to a bride like me that demands any flower arrangements displayed within a standing height is made out of fresh flowers.....heheheheh....mengada-ngada. I bet my mom pening kepala cari florist kat Tampin since early December, and half way she's starting to nag on this and that, but being the hard headed me, aku nak jugak!!!

Before I left for my holidays I have already googled for table setting ideas that can be done for the nikah day, and despite going through the ideas with my mom over and over again, she seems a bit reluctant over the idea since she can picture it...

Until we found "the" florist.

So the story goes that as we scouted a few florist back in Petaling Street (where the price of blooms are cheapest, mind you), I asked my mom how we are to decorate it, given the limited time available on the day before the wedding. So I looked at the florist and said....

"Kalau bunga ni u dah siap gubah boleh ke?"

The florist smiled. Said yes and came up with a bunch of albums. In which we can pick and choose whichever arrangements we want, and it'll be ready the day before the wedding. Once we picked it up we can just put it in a vase.

No extra work required. And it's priced quite well. And in between the numerous stack of photos, I found the table setting I wanted.Aku pun jerit...

"Ma! Ini lah table setting yang zu cakap tu!!!

My mom had a looked, and smiled.

Sukses! Yeay!

*Sigh....point to note : next time have to give my mom illustrations and crystal clear visuals so nanti tak de la susah...nanti cakap lain dapat lain.

Happy and contented, we took the calling card of "the" florist and set for a date to come back in February to place the final orders and bookings.

One down, a lot more to go...heheheheh

3. (Ter)beli barang renjis... - errmmm, tak budget tapi checked!

After our visit to the florist @ Petaling Street, we started hunting for the ribbons and materials for my bunga pahar and bunga maggar. Sambil-sambil tu jalan along Jalan Masjid India scouting for kain for the wedding party.

*Dah lama gila okeh tak datang beli kain kat sini.....*

Along the way we ended at Semua House. I remember that there is a shop that sells barang2 adat, dulang2 as well as faux jewelleries at first floor, so saje gatal nak tengok. Heheheheh. Kalau tak beli, berangan pun jadi la.

So there we were admiring the finer details of luxuring customary stuff when we found the alat merenjis di atas!

*Oh my, at a very reasonable price....then aku pulak cepat tergoda.....*

One hour later - after much contemplation - my brother ended up carrying a newly purchased set while tagging along me and my mom to Bunga & Reben to get our ribbons.....

Keji....sangat keji...tak pe, nanti ku absorkan kat budget under others....

4. Bought more ribbons and whatnot for the bunga pahar and bunga maggar - check!
*Tapi kena another set of mini roses for another set of bunga maggar by mid Jan. The ones we had rupanya tak cukup....sigh....*

*Mini version of bunga letak belakang then letak telur....jimat ribbons, jimat kos, senang sikit nak buat compared to the full bunga pahar version - perfect giveaway for guest after merenjis*

We spent two hours at Bunga & reben, tapi due to unforeseen circumstances, the big ribbons tak cukup....and we need at least a dozen of those to make the bunga pahar, mini pahars/telur and corsages for the family during the nikah day, so terpaksa la kitorang datang balik the next day....

So we packed whatever we can get and went home....

We kick off the night with opening gifts (though X'mas is over, but at least they get their gifts), and later started working on whatever we can do from the things that we got earlier during the day....

*My mom and siblings with their wedding pressie's - Ani got a hot water bottle for her "rainy days", mommy got a La Senza Bootie pants and Abang, a water bottle*

By midnight we manage to get these done....

*Part of the bunga pahar items....neatly rearrange, protected by cute little gingerbread man*

*Protecting today's crops*

*Aaargh...later stashed away in a cookie jar*

As the mission ain't over the day before...we went back to Jalan TAR the next day and hunted for ribbons and whatnot....sampai sukses....

*Itu muka Ani kepenatan*
We ended up with these....

*oh...those are the mini flowers for the bunga manggar(finally, jumpa jugak!), bags of ribbons, laces and manik jurai2 (again for the bunga manggar) and kain baju for my ladies.....yeah, aku beli sekali.....senang.....saved me future trips to Jalan TAR*
Balik je we had lunch, rest and later start on the bunga maggar project.Barang semua ada. Ini trial run, sebab want to reinvent a different kind of bunga manggar for "the" day. Though bukannaya ada berarak ke apa, we are setting it at the gates with floral arrangements at the fibers that will hold every strand.

*Itu modernised version of which kalau dulu traditionally guna betik or batang pisang je*

At the end, we came up with this....

*Cukup untuk satu set bunga maggar...tinggal nak letak manik jurai2 je*

*Sample of the final product*
My house ended up sooooo messy! Hahahahaha.....
Tapi takpe, at the end we manage to get a lot of things done...

5. Finalise the kenduri hall deco with my wedding planner, Nazira

*Nazira is from ADL makeup and events ..... maybe a lot of people haven't hear a word about her before but she is the same person who does wedding henna of princesshenna and cuppies of princessbakers.....*

Yesterday, I finally manage to have a seat in with my WP and finalise the theme and deco arrangements for the kenduri to be held in KL. Sigh. Sangat best. I like. Hahahahaha...we discuss flowers (again!), pelamin, cake and deco arrangements. By the end of the two hour meeting, most of the rough details had been agreed. So I am crossing my fingers, and hope for the best.

6. Beli baju nikah and alas dulang! - check!

After the brief meeting with my WP, I scooted to AP Raja's house of fine beaded materials to hunt for my baju nikah and alas dulang. I have noted the shop since back then when Tina is preparing for her wedding, and was so deeply in love with the fine details in the alas dulang and baju nikah they sell.
I was moved and spoilt with choices as I go through a few baju kurung, kurung kedah and kebaya ensamble fir for a princess. Ohhh......sangat soka hati.
The same day I picked up a whole set of nikah outfit (to be sent to my tailor later for tailoring, complete with a matching veil) and 9 pieces of exquisite alas dulang with sequins to die for.

*Ohhhh, aku dah mula excited!*
And today here I am assessing a week long financial damage....hahahahahaha.....

Sangat panjang post ni....anyway, to say goodbye to last year, here's pics of the X'mas Party at Nikki's last 24th, the eve of x'mas.