Friday, February 27, 2009

Ass like this....

*don't cha wish you ever had an ass like this?*

This complements the song "My Humps" from the Black Eyed Peas. Taken months back at a changing room in Bebe @ Pavillion, obviously that is SO NOT MY ASS!.

*I am the one in the mirror - sob sob*

Takpe...next time karoke kalau aku nyanyi lagu My Humps aku dah ada model tolong menari kat depan....

Heheheheh!

Have a good weekend peeps!

Hot pink ballerina flatties....

I step in to office today with an all black ensemble. My black faux-jewel encrusted top and a simple Doroty Perkins pants.

*I need to go get another one of DP's pant's. 3 dah tak cukup dah...I need more*
My hair all wet (sebab lambat bangun, and still kena cuci rambut!) and in hand...my Neverful Damier MM.

Picture those with this flatties...

*Hot pink!!!!*


Harusla boss aku buat muka terkejut tahap dewa when she sees me in the pantry to get my fill of H2O.

Hahahahhaa....
Thank God its already Friday!

Getting married and feeling sexy???

*pics are all courtesy of LaSenza.com. If any of you wanna know more just click the link for details - all items featured is from their bridal collection - I'm liking it since it looks very sweet and angelic*

p/s : Tolong jangan gatal nak report blog ni....the review is innocent ok! Tak pasal2 nanti start ada content warning pulak!

There's nothing much on today, so as I sifted through my emails and had my usual morning breakfast, the email from LaSenza.com caught my eyes (and would have burnt my wallet if my wedding is on as planned - hahahaha, nasib baik cancel...jimat duit aku!) and it just awed me....i like the sweet pink notes and innocent whites in its lingeries...and here are my top picks!


*Bridal Baby Mesh Doll*

Sangat sweet kan? It's young, it's fresh and its definitely sexy, in a conservative see through way.

*smile*

But then if you're the type that doesn't mind to flash out and feel a bit dangerous (macam ala2 Pussycat Dolls), this is also quite enchanting....


*Veracruz Brazillian*

Holla sexy mama! Screams ready to rumble! But add a garter belt, and you get something slightly naughtier....

*Adakah orang brazil saje yang seseksi ini sampai the lingerie is also named after brazillians?*


*Veracruz Garter Belt*

I bet any man will feel a bit "offended" with that garter belt. *huge grin smacked on the face*

Dalam hati : Tak payah la nak bayangkan aksi2 pasangan bergelora waktu malam pertama. Heheheheh. Tengok DVD pun dah tau macam mana. For reference - go watch Knocked Up....tak payah guna garter belt pun on jugak. Hahahaha!

Ok, next is an ensemble I think all newlyweds must have....a slip on. Cotton is so faux passe, so for the sexy bride....please go for a satin or silk slip. Okay?

* the model says : kalau nak pakai cotton tunggu la after the first newborn okay? - damn she has a serious face on!*

On top of the lingeries, we can all be playfull with...

*bridal eye mask*

Ni just in case your new partner suka tidur with the lights on, and you - the complete opposite. If I were you I have to have a complete blackout (means no light or any form of light whatsoever) otherwise ko tengok la esok pagi I will wake up a with a somber face.

For the sexy kittens they have this in store.....


*Feathered kitten heels*

Ooh, yummylicious kan? Heheheheh....

And last but not least...if you wanna go with nothing at all.....

*Blindfold and nipple covers*

At least you can cover up one small part there! Hahahaha! Good for role playing.

Sigh...

Ni la akibatnya bila semalam dok kat umah all night tengok 2 season of "Secret Diary of A Call Girl". Getting a bit raunchy ere'!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

My mid-week day off!

Selingan jap.....

Cepatnya aku gain weight!!!!

Gila tragis. Ini gambar from last weekend...


And the next one is from yesterday...


Apa nak jadi ni??? Ni kes banyak makan nasi la wei.....Sigh.

*Makanan rujiku kini my worse enemy - I'm going to nurse my wound for a while now*

But that's not the pont of the pics sebenarnya.

Look at the first pic...banyak make-up kan? That's my pitiful attempt to cover up the redness all over my face. Sigh. Its getting too much now. Time to snap and realise that its getting more and more sensitive lately and breakouts are INEVITABLE.

*sob sob*

But then last Saturday I paid a visit to Clarins counter (since I need a new facial wash....La Mer punya dah abis, and with the breakouts, tobatla aku tak nak spend bebanyak beli facial wash mahal dah) since I read a good review in one of the blogs (tak ingat mana dah, sorry!) that she switched to Clarins when she had breakouts while using SKII and it work wonders! So the Clarins Lady recommended me the 2-in-1 facial wash(cum make-up remover) in the gel form that turns to oil when massaged to the skin and milk when cleansed....and within 3 days... I no longer need heavy make-up!

Seriously, the 2nd makeup takde sebutir bedak pun and I look as if I am in the first pic.

Hopefully in 2 weeks semua jerawat2 ni clear...AMIN.

Ok, back to my mid week break.

I didn't go to spa. Sigh. I woke up at 11am and end up at......
One Utama!!!!

*Sape suruh lambat bangun lagi? Buat penat je survey Khareyana spa at PJ, siap print map...pastu tak pergi???*

Ye la, bangun lambat. I at least need 3 hours there. Tak nak la by the time I'm done dah gelap-gelap senja. Tak best la.

As I walk in from the parking lot near GSC I saw this....

*yippee...cotton candies!*

Not that I bought any. Hahahaha. Tapi macam best kan?

I didn't go for a movie marathon either. As I scouted the list, the only thing I wanted to watch is Street Fighter : The Legend of Chun Li and it was a midnight show...so I head straight to The Nail Parlour, where I turn this....


*oh sorry, gambo agak gelap sikit*
To these......


*Now ready to paint the town red*


Sangat gumbira!!!

Anyway, I picked up my cousin's Street Fighter 4 Collectors Edition for PS3 as well...

*Adakah itu Ryu???*

Dah lama tak main game ni....tapi aku mana ada PS3?

I spent the rest of the night resting and watching (more) DVD's. I still have a few more to go , since I stop mid way and watch Wildfires at 8TV.

Kenapa aku tonton movie itu aku pun tak tahu....

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Gumbiranya bila ESOK COTI!

Kenapa aku ambil cuti???

Saje.Hahahahah.Mid week pulak tu. As if I have nothing better to do.

*yeah, I wish I have something better to do*

But then I was having second thoughts lately then I feel like retracting...but then its a bit too late.

So what's in the agenda tomorrow???

1. Get my nails done. In which case I have to get Nail Parlour's number so that I can book my mani and pedi appointments....

*maybe I should just head straight to Kota Damansara....I heard its cheaper there? Lagi pun bosan la asyik lepak kat OU ni je. Time kerja kat sini, weekend kat sini...cuti pun kat sini?*

2. I am contemplating on a movie marathon since its Wednesday!!!! RM6 movies at GSC...again kat OU.

*apa ni...OU lagi?*

3. I can head to Peek-A-Boo and get a wash and blow.

4. I can go to Thann Sanctuary. But then their packages ranges between RM300 to RM400.... kinda pricey aite?

I can do like 6 mani and pedi's with that!

5. I have to go and tend to some boring legal stuff (on my condo that has been terminated!) in which they are finally cutting me a cheque (kaching!!!!!).

*On second thought, maybe the spa idea is not so bad? Or maybe I should just go and save it! kemut lebih sikit....go save it!(not?)*

Kan best if (unknowingly) I actually do own my on spa?

*yeah, keep on dreaming*

If you guys are dying to know what I actually do (ahahahahahah! i am a sucker for dreaming big!)....stay tune ya. If you're lucky I might just keep my camera very very close and snap pics!

*sebab lately most of the time I feel uber lazy*

Love uols!

*OMG, tak pernah guna abbreviation itu...what's happening to me?*

p/s to Liza : Chumels....hahahahaha.Gelak syaiton seperti biasa.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Mari makan kek....

Just now we had the February bday celebration at office...and there's strawberry cheesecake and walnut chocolate cake for all!!!!

*Muka syafiq yang sudah nak cuak sebab dia tahu in a few minutes semua orang akan buli dia*

Memang betul pun. By the time the cake is cut, we manage to get hold of a huge portion of cheesecake make him gulp them all down. Selagi tak abis tak boleh balik!!!!

*hahahahaah...sebab semua orang dengki kat dia - he has the best body in the whole department sebab dia workout and all......semua orang jeles - termasuk aku!*

Happy Bday man!

*huge grin - tahun depan bersedia la kena lagi satu k!*

Passed through Thann Sanctuary @ OneWorld Hotel and it smells like heaven.....aku mau ke spa!!!!!

The panel clinic at (my) office is located at the 2nd floor of OneWorld hotel, and in order to go to the clinic you would have to walk pass by Thann Sanctuary Spa.

*pics courtesy of OneWorld Hotel website...more info click here*


OMG.....the air was floating with heavy scent of essential oils - in which I can identify as lemon grass, bergamot and lavender.....

It's like heaven on earth....


Sigh....

Hilang pening di kepala. I feel my muscle tension eases up and at one moment....blissful.

While waiting for the doctor I had 5 minutes of sleep on the clinic's sofa. Oh sangat sedap.

Bila nak pergi spa ni???

So irritattingly unsettling....

...when the stomach is having problems, all other bodily organs seems to be affected as well.

Like the thudding pain in my head worse than being in a "pheng-taw" dance club....buzzing house music that I HATE SO MUCH....

Like the mild sometimes on-sometimes off push and pull sensation in my tummy that's driving me crazy, because its neither a signal that I need to go to the loo (since I went 4 times already up till now and the last one seems to push out nil) nor excruciating pain that can ever render me an MC chit.

Like the back-ache that I have been having all morning, and not even a comfy pillow can fix.

Sigh.

I hate tummy ache!

Cuba la be clear sikit. Kalau sakit tu biar clear cut sakit. Ni macam nak tak nak je sakit. Boarderline case. Sigh.

So I am heading to the panel clinic at OneWorld Hotel (equipped with my ING panel card) for meds....

Better go now. Petang ni ada department bday celebration. Such a bummer kalau nanti I bantai makan cake then later tonight found out that its a bad move coz I should have avoided it at all cost.

Better be safe than sorry.

Let'e recap my list shall we...

Out of the 5 things in my "to-do list" for the weekend , I only manage to do 2 of them - that is cleaning the house and do my laundry.

*Thank God! Otherwise me takde baju nak pakai*

.....I didn't get to do my nails , not that its in dire need of a manicure but its super long and irritating now that the colors are no longer even at the base. Since I got Jessica's Bail Fusion last month my nails no longer peels either......but still I feel the need to get my nails attended to. Buang2 the dead skin cells and what not.

......I get to meet my Chill Babes ( Era , Izwain and Shaz) and we spend a good couple of hours watching Valkyrie at Cineleisure. I would have loved to hang out a lil bit more tapi since umah I macam tongkang pecah on Friday and my sis is coming over the next day, aku pun terpaksa balik awal. Sigh.....its okay, we are still game for next Friday night aite?

*wink wink*

......I was awaken early Saturaday morning by Liza for breakfast...and since its a last minute notice, dengan terkebil-kebil la mandi and whatnot. Since my face is still inflamed with pimples yang amat menyakitkan hati dan meragut perasaan, so haruslah before I push out I pakai make-up.....only to overdo it and nampak sangat horror. Sigh. Macam topung gomak (please sebut dengan slang nogori sikit ya!)....ter-OD pulak. Anyway, we had a good time at La Bodega, and piccas can be viewed at Liza's and Farah's blogs...

......Apart from the above I spent time chilling at home (yeah, umah dah bersih bersinar2 kan, lagi semangat aku nak berkurung dalam umah!) watching True Blood season 1, and I just have to say that Anna Paquin is soooo damn cute in this series.

*Ok la cerita dia....not that it drives me crazy like Criminal Minds tapi boleh la, for the fun of it*

And now here I am on a Monday morning back to office.

Sigh.

Hopefully this week is better than the last. The weekdays was so slow last week its practically killing me.

Looking forward to : Zu Lyn's wedding on Friday...hehehe...aku soka!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Finally...my very own Bedroom Sanctuary CD

After google-ing and email-ing people to get hold of my Bedroom Sanctuary CD (since it's only avaible at certain outlets...mostly are studio's /jamming band that I have never been to....I finally got hold of Bo's latest album....

Inilah Bo Amir Ikram...kepada rakan2 ku yang tak pernah nampak muka dia. Pic courtesy of http://www.junknet.com/.

And here is the CD I have been raving about yesterday. Got a hold of it from http://www.osixnine.com/ for RM26.50.







Seriously, mungkinkah akan ku dapat signed copy???? Nanti bila dapat thru post next week baru tau...tak sabarnya!!!

Kan rock kalau dia sign "I love you, zuraida".

*Gedegang!!!!Huge grin smacked on the face!!!!*

Muahahahahaha....Mula la tu nak merenyam. Tapi seriously, when I saw him on 8TV he is so charming, I would understand why those pretty young things out there get charmed by his wits.

*Plus he makes good music too....oh my oh my, kalau gaduh je dia tulis lagu, gaduh je tulis lagi lagu....sangat jiwangs!*

Ok, I better stop here before I say too much.Guys, go buy the CD. Support local music.

*Chewah! First time kan dengar ayat tu?*

Next hunt : Atillia. Tahu mana nak cari album dia?

Bunch of things that needs to be done this weekend....

*me - trying to smile on a bad hair day...and with no make up*

I am *farking* bored. Sigh. Gilo la buat public complaint macam ni tapi what the heck.

So while I am at it...let's take my mind off by wandering over things that I should get done over the weekend....

1. Clean my house

I have been trying to get this done for 2 weeks now, and seriously, I felt like a hamster!!!

*No wonder I love relating to the cute lil thing everytime I pass the pet shop next to Killiney's Uptown*

Seriously. My house is screaming for help. That is a MUST DO and its ON TOP OF THE LIST. Must get done early tomorrow!

2. And since I am cleaning, I better start snapping pics of the stuff I set aside to let go on my new "clear-my-stuff" blog ......All the Pretty Things Must Go.

Hold your horses people. Its not made public yet. Will announce it on due time.

*Korang mesti dah jelak kan dengan statement ni? Lama tunggu tapi tak muncul2. Hahahaha. Takpe. Aku ni late-bloomer. So banyakkan bersabar*

3. Get my nails done @ The Nail Parlour.

Its (again) time to get my mani and pedi, because my cuticles are showing and the I need a hot new color to jazz me up for Wednesday.

*Whats up next Wednesday? Aku coti untuk hahahahaahahah....wink wink*

4. Do laundry.

Did the first half yesterday...so the second half must be done by the end of tonight. With my sis coming over this weekend, if I don't get it done now it might never get done.

5. Sort out my bag wardrobe.

Since "the break-up" (can I consider it that way??...hmmmm), I have been flaunting my bags and shoes and just been dumping them around the house at will. So imagine my living room filled with clothes, and shoes and bags.....and DVD's....and my bag wardrobe - completely E.M.P.T.Y.

I have to start re-organising.

While I am at it, I should get my make-up stuff re-organised as well.

Hmmm....that should be enough....

Nanti banyak2 tak buat apa2 pun tak guna jugak!

*smile*

Me - Dodging Gym (Again!)

It has been a very slow week....I feel soooo de-energised (hmmm...does that word even exist?). My headaches aren't getting any better anyway, and my body clock is not at proper order (meaning if I go home after work, I will probably hit the sack till about 10pm and later burn the midnight oil like a zombie).

So I have decided to go to the movies and catch a chic flick, and since "Confession of A Shopaholic" won't be out till next week, I am settling with this...

*New In Town*

Story tells about a high-powered career woman who is forced to consider her goals and choices when she is sent to closed down a plant in a welcoming town.

OK, sounds good enough. Maybe there'll be love.

I wanted to get tixs to Valkyrie, but it will start only at 8.30pm and my friends say that it's a bit slow for a war movie. So I'll pass.

Maybe next week I can go on a marathon to watch my favourite Shopahoholic, as well as Chun Li (from Street Fighter) and Punisher kicking as*es!

Sigh.

*I hacked up a bunch of tv series from a collegue and guess what...I am liking the choices I have now. Too bad I leftthe keys to my kensington lock at home, maybe later after the movie I would have to come back and grab my laptop home...and just lock myself in my room for the weekend*

Hope u guys will have a good one!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My New Favvy - Estrella CD

I was watching 8TV Quickie catch ups and saw the one with the hottie Bo Amir Ikram promoting his new album , Bedroom Sanctuary, and was loving his music.

It has a taste of Jazzy Rock that I love, and I am so eager to get my hands on a copy of it, but then I have searched everywhere in OU but failed to find one. Sigh. Maybe at the end I terpaksa jugak beli online.

*gigih sungguh*

Anyway, instead of Bedroom Sanctuary, I found Estrella's new album - Estrella.



And I am digging the music.

The tracks is just the way I like it.....calming, and in fact, I have to say that they do exceed my expectation, being an indie group and all.

They are already famous with "Stay" and "Ternyata", but I also love all the other tracks in the album. For less than Rm30 I am a very very satisfied person.

This is so going to be my new coffee music, next to my favourite "Love songs in Bossa Moments".

Now....how (and when) can I get my hands on Bo's CD?

Pei Wen's Bday Lunch @ NY Deli in OU

As shouted earlier.....went to NY Deli @ OU to celebrate Ms Ee Pei Wen's xxth Bday!

The birthday girl with a brooding smile!

Anyway, its my first time there. The ambience is uplifting. Spacious. Very open and casual like. I was excited to try the food on the menu because from the looks of it, everything is just scrumptious and yummylicious.

I opted for Chicken Ceasar Salad and a set of Fiery Buffalo Wings with good old H2O. Hahahaah! Sorry, no pics of my food coz I was so eager to eat them, I only realised that I should have taken snaps when I was already halfway done. And my verdict was....

Oh semuanya sedap!!!!! Even the rest of the guys who were with me was satisfied of the food!

Sangat unbelievable. Usually there is always something to complaint about.

And what's a birthday without jolly old cake?

Cupcakes and vanilla ice-cream in hot fudge chocolate.....sooooo yummey!

Of course la kan....takkan aku bantai benda ni sorang-sorang. Melampau la tu. We actually SHARED...like 5 person to a plate. So ok la kan.

And look at the carnage once we were done.....

Eargh!!!!!Sangat tak civilised.

But still...had a great meal.

Happy Birthday Babe!

Craze for Bags Is Back!


Lady Dior Cannage Bag
As seen in Gossip Girl Season 2 in Red....in the arms of Blair Waldorf of course!

How can I put this.....hmmm...this bag is driving me nuts!!Its pretty simple and chic.

To those that have loads of free time and ready to indulge on more eye candy from the Gossip Girls entourage, you can find a complete review of the things they wear here.
I promise you that after a page of that, it will leave you drooling for more.

*and they have lots more than bags...they have clothes, shoes, accessories and loads more!...me likey!*
I wish the brands they carry are more accessible. Sigh. I'm like thousands of miles away here.....in longing. And no alternative that is equally satisfying.
Let's keep on dreaming shall we.....

Heading to NY Deli

They are celebrating Pei Wen's bday today at NY Deli...

Yeay!

Dah lama aku nak try out that place.

Pics to come.

Blotchy

I had tremendous fun last night. Thanks to Ika! Yeay!

*bila2 nak keluar lagi sila la ajak i!hahahahaahh*

Anyway, rewind about 2 hours from now I was awaken by a call and was damn late for work. *Nasib baik ofis depan umah* So I had a quick shower (nasib baik - again- that I had my hair washed nicely when I got home last night) and dressed up, grabbed my gym bag (yeah, dah miss gym for a couple of days, hari ni kena qada' balik) and head to work.

*Apa la labu, hari ni bayar parking mahal lagi*

As soon as I get settled in my seat Komala flashed me a look and buzzed...

"What the hell happened to you?"

Duh!

I personally do9n't think that I looked that bad. Coz seriously, my hair is at it's one of its "good moments" and I feel absolutely on top of the world.

I am confused here.

Then she said..... "You look completely stoned! And your face is red all over"

Damn it! This happens when I don't have enough sleep and a couple doses of hmmmm....sigh. And I didn't even overdo myself. Last night was just a plain simple high. By all definition if I had gone all out, the last night out would do zilch in comparison to what I would have done to myself in yesteryears...

*Which made me thinking....do I look that bad after all those night outs on weekdays? I suppose back in audit no one cares...hahahahah*

Sigh.

Thank goodness I have my concealer with me today.

Apa lagi...first time in history aku berlari ke toilet pakai make-up.

Sigh.

What a morning.

Though I can't hide them all (yeah, coz if you want full coverage I would have to go with my La Mer foundation....and that bottle sumpah aku tak carry dalam handbag, berat ok!) but then I suppose now I look better.

*huge grin samcked on the face*

Now lets go back to work feeling blotchy no more!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Headache

I have been having headache and cramps since yesterday everytime it hits 5pm. Macam tak happy je that its the end of the day. Ni yang aku tak suka ni. Sebenarnya semangat berkobar-kobar nak pergi berlari2 kat gym, but then this headache is thudding non-stop like nobody's business....

Macam semalam....

Ingat nak join budak2 ofis main futsal. Not that I am an avid futsal fan. I just thought it would be fun to hang out with them for a game or two. But as I step home to change and the headaches got worse, I just can't help but take a nap.

That turns out to be a full fledge sleep.

Sigh.

Tido mati okeh sampai pagi. Not that I don't appreciate the sleep. Lately I have been trouble sleeping but then takkan la....

Sigh.

So this morning I pack something more nutritional for breakfast and tea-break....I brought to work a small canister of Nestle Fitness cereal and a bit of low fat milk. Which turn out good. Satisfying.

But then now the headaches starts to kick in again....

Could it have been the mocha shots that I have been taking all this while? Coffeee drains kan?

Shit.

Must stop now. No more coffee till all the pain go away.

Sigh.

I love coffee. It pains me.

Window shopping at lunch time

Had lunch at Nando's today with a couple of friends, and since I have some spare time after I was done, I did some window shopping in OU on the walk back to office.

*Not that I can buy anything. After the dent in my savings from the (cancelled) wedding extravaganza, I am now on crash saving mode to (yet-again) recover from the aching my bank account balance felt for quite some time....sigh....now is not the time to spend money*

Cuci mata saje....

Followed Alina to F.O.S and while she was trying out some tops, found a few pairs of yoga pants at bargain price.

Hmmm...tempted.

But have.to.restraint.myself.

Sigh! (yet again)

Maybe a few yoga pants won't kill kan? Besides, its not that pricey. Maybe I should consider it later on pay day, after all my dues are met.....*smile*....and some part of my pay is stash far far away in an untouched savings account. Then maybe if there's excess here and there I might just get my hands on a pair or two.

Besides, taxes are due in a couple of weeks and I don't want to be a tax-evader. Nanti tak boleh pergi oversea.

Hahahahaha....

Itu yang aku fikir?

OMG...baru pukul 10am ke?

Seriously, I feel like shooting myself....

How can I endure yet another day of slow passing, whereby time seems to be moving at tortoise pace (ok, no offence to the small green slow moving guys....) and there's still a full day ahead of me when all I felt like doing all morning (so far) is to be curled up in my bed....

Sigh...

*I sigh to much lately. I can name myself Princess of Sigh*

Lately I have nothing much to do besides slipping to dreamland. If I am ever awake I will escape from reality through movies and DVD's, I wish that I reside in Penang right now because cost per CD is at least 50% cheaper. Yet then to go to bed is a torture, as most nights I merely stare at the ceiling and toss and turn endlessly till I finally do get to sleep.

To just dread to wake up again the next morning and continue the whole pitiful cycle again.

Sigh...

Hours to go....

Monday, February 16, 2009

Tak de Mood untuk Berbuat Apa-apa....

This is just one of those days when I feel half-hearted as I step in the office, yet had to put a bright and bubbly face on because its just another day at work. I didn't get to sleep much last night because I can't seem to get myself to bed and instead, spent the night watching Criminal Minds 4 Part 1.

Hence, explains the blood-shot red eyes on my pretty little face today.

The weekend has been quiet. Didn't go out much, didn't call anyone. Nothing much to do either. Sigh.

And arif has been trying his utmost best to pujuk me (yet again).

This time he brought me to visit our (supposed-to-be) home (if we are ever going to wed each other) at Challis Damansara.

Sigh.

Ni yang aku lemah ni.

Who wouldn't be?

Right smack in front of you is the (almost complete, fully equipped high end) townhouse in the heart of Mutiara Damansara (which is 5 minutes to both OU and the Curve) which is almost 90% complete....u can see them all nicely lined up.

Sigh.

Again....aku insan yang lemah.

In fact, the agents had already called and confirmed that keys will be handed to us in June.

Sigh...

So much for the cancelled wedding.

So much for the dreadfull ...... that has led to the cancelled wedding.

So much -

Why can't I just jet off and leave everything...be a classic runaway bride?

Sheesh....maybe runaway brides do face all these dilemmas (and many more), maybe nobody had just spoken or thought of it too much.

I hate to be starting to dream again (especially with the same person). It still hurts. I just wish it could all go away. The woes. The anger. The dissapointment.

*the unnerving parents*

I just wish I can pack my bags and leave...just like a coward. Simple. Run away from everything and start over.

But I know that I can't do that. There are things to face here.

*Thinking about it feels like I am in a battle macam dalam StarWars or Lord Of the Rings...sheesh....gila pening. Banyak sangat keganasan*

Maybe if I am just a little patient things will turn around and get better in a few months time. Maybe if I just hold on to faith things will change.

Hopefully....

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Its already sunday?

It has been a long weekend,coz I took Friday off to have some personal 'me' time,not that I go out and di anything, I just need a time to think straight, and now its Sunday.

Bummer.

I have been sorting things out at home.Rummaging through piles of things to let go but I am still feeling this pull - the tough feeling to let go. Crap. I love my stuff too much.

Then there's another question - would I feel envious when I see the things I love (which is no longer mine) on someone else and...

Sigh.

I have serious issues.

Ok,now I am going back to deal with it.

P/s: The blog to let go of the things are up,tinggal nak tangkap gambar and post je,so...hold ur horses!hahahah!let me deal with my issues first k!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Fuzed by Milo!

Coz there's nothing much to do, I clicked the Nuffnang ad and entered the Milo Fuze contest.

Anyone who wanted to view my entry....click here.

Its a pic of me with Ms Diva, Izwain, and fahmi's sweetie, Jo, on Jo's bday last May.

*huge grin*

There a price for winning it...and voters too....can you guys go vote for me???

*wink wink*

My cousin's very own personal shopper

He is getting very cozy bossing me around town to buy him stuff.....sigh...nasib baik dia hantar duit..hahahahaha!

This time its a Street Fighter 4 collectors Edition (coming out next week) and a few pairs of robot t-shirt.

*And a padini pants*

On top of that I have a huge hunch that he will sent me off to pick up more NB shoes.

Nasib baik ko belanja aku free flight tixs! Hahahahah!

When I feel like my body is failing me...

OMG, I felt as if my body is crumbling to pieces.

The thing is, I sprained my left ankle a few days ago. I thought its a no biggie. But compound the pain with running at the gym last Tuesday for almost an hour and high heels to work. Sigh. Yeah. I should have taken it easy.

*But then the attempt to feel hot can feel no such pain. Hahahaaha. Gilo. As if la kan. But everything starts with the mind. Kalau aku dok lampi je fikir negative day in and day out pun tak guna jugak kan? So that brings out the high heels, the make-up, the extra time in the showers early morning....a huge amount of perfume....among others*

Not that I never did any of those before. Most of the time I just can't be bothered.*Sebab aku tau despite anything aku sangat gorjes...hahahaha....gelak syaiton* But then since even the worse-dressed person in office is making an effort to look good then aku macam ketinggalan bandwagon la pulak. What the hell is this....a farking (invisible/unknown/unintentional) beauty contest?

Sigh...

Tergugat natural beauty aku nih.

So I have to pull out more ammunition for this (invible/unknown/unintentional pagent). Hahahha...I don't want to come out last. Maybe I am not super hot, but I bet I am pretty easy on the eyes.

*huge grin....apa la aku melalut ni? I can make people cringe so early on a Thursday morning*

Back to my aching ankle.

So yesterday it got way overboard, and I am flipping already because my back is aching too. So high time nak pergi berurut. n Thank God arif masih berbaik hati nak drive me around town (and buy me dinners...hahahaha....aku sangat sengkek bulan ni...mekacih la) and he took me and my sis to meet Mak Cik Ida (my dearly beloved tukang urut) kat Keramat.

Yeah, its far. But it seems like she's the only one that can weave the pain away.

Almost 2 hours of urut she declared that I am ok, and that I shouldn't push myself too hard, especially when I got a sprained ankle.

Sheesh.

I knew that. I am just to stubborn to admit it.

I let the oil rest for a night and today I feel so...... S.E.G.A.R. The ankle pain is still there but its not as excruciating, and I think the sore bump had gone away.

Back on high heels.

*huge grin*

Boleh tak? Camno nak baik ni?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

When V-Day is Just Around the Corner....

It has been a pretty boring day.....with neither anything much to do nor say. So here I am staring at the blank screen and suddenly got ditched out of the office communicator (that somehow went from actively communicating to offline in a jiffy) and again.....nothing to do.

So here I am, thinking of what to do...browsing my (now empty) calendar (coz Rihanna just got smashed and that trashed the hope of getting free tix), and found out that its Valentine's Day this weekend.

To be more exact, its this Saturday.

Sigh.

My ex's alway use the "I-don't-celebrate-VDay-coz-its-a-lame-orang-kafir-event" excuse, not even considering the sentimental values/messages behind it...that despite the horrific history of the day (yeah, lets not go through it again shall we), it all screams out is just a simple word....LOVE.

That is suppose to be a day of sharing, of giving, and just a simple excuse to make one normal day another special day.

My ex's always say ,"wth, we can always make other days special, it doesn't have to be Valentines Day when the price of stuff are all so extortious" and yes, we could, but it never happened, didn't they?

Because unless you scream for attention, they also forget "the day we met", (ok, maybe not that) or "the anniversary" (in which he later gives an excuse that maybe it just happen, he's busy and that he's sorry) or worse, your own birthday.

To all the men out there,

We women don't actually care whether we celebrate VDay or not, but then if there are no other days when you put an effort to which would be any special, then why not we celebrate it anyway?

Kan?

Its just another day for you to show us how much we are loved, cherished and valued, and another day for us to do the same to you.

And since I am single at the moment (technically speaking), I am glad to spread the love to my girlfriends.

Have a date with Liza at Delicious @ Marc Residency on Friday night (that's VDay's eve) and all my blogger babes are invited. Lets dress up and camwhore.

Peace!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Long Weekend

I suppose the long weekend was just another long day off that allows me to stay longer under my bed covers.

*wink wink*

I only eat, sleep, watch DVD's and read books all weekend....no surprise....no shopping, no cleaning, no nothing. I bum around till I felt dizzy all day (like some ppl say, clubbing in my head....hahahaha...what a notion) for having irregular sleeping hours and being dehydrated.

I skipped gym.

I had a lot of teh ais.

Screw weight watching!

I finally manage to finish my read on InkSpell, where when I finally read the final word I felt like throwing the book out of my 9 storey unit. Damn you!. Now I have to go and scout for the next book, InkDeath, to know how the farking story ends.

Sigh.

I hate saga's.

On the other had, I have finally finished my first 8 chapters of the last Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, and I just can't wait to go back and read more. heheheheheh.....juicy sungguh. Aku soka. Haahahahaha.I suka part....ehem ehem....mana boleh bagitau. Some of you might kill me, coz I just don't give spoiler alerts....

*like Izwain did when the last Harry Potter movie came out!sigh! She was furious! Gilo saiko!hahahahah! - me exaggerating, no offence babe....*

That and a bunch of DVD's (yeah, like 10 of them) held me back against stocking my clearance wardrobe. Sigh. So much stuff to go through. So little time. I tried to go through a bit of the things that I stored (yeah, like 5% of overall stored total) and so far I have found....

A few hairclips - oh, I am having teary eyed to lose this one....I love my clips. I need to get them sorted out.

A few pairs of earrings - Damn it, I love my earrings too. Back when I was in audit I use to wear dangling earrings to work, and stop 2 years back when my existing firm had a no-no policy against oversized earring. Sigh. Haruskah let go...

A Stilla tinted moisturiser + concealer + mini glow set - purchased at ISetan last year, I only used the concealer brush and never touched the rest. OMG. Dan ia sedang berkepuk kat dalam kotak.

Sigh...

There are a set of rollers too....the ones that doesn't need to be clipped and it just rolls on your head. I got it back in Manila last December 2006 from my Tita Bambi and never used it, coz soon after I had my hair cropped short.

Nak let go macam sayang je...

Takpe la.

My sister is around till next weekend. I bet she heard about me clearing off my (pre-loved) junk that she can't resist coming over, I remember last 2 years when I was moving out of my Ampang house bot my sister and her bestie had a great time getting free make-up stuff (which half of them has not been used), lotions and clothes - boxes of them- to go and jiggy with it.

Maybe they might just get lucky again.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Thank you

What can I say?Many thanks to everyone who expressed support over this past couple of days.Though I am inclined to keep to myself more,believe me its for the best,because I have my own way of handling frustration and its not going out and meet as many people as I can.

hehehe.Not that meeting people is a bad thing.

Its just me.

Even years back when my mom and dad went through a divorce I keep more to myself.I stay locked in.I read books.I watch DVD's.I stare at the ceiling.Call me anti social but it makes me feel better faster not having to dwell on the look of shock and pity on people's faces, and the symphathy they extended.

Sigh.

It does trouble a lot of people,they way I handled my maxim depression.Especially my mom.She hates it when I shut the world out.It drives her crazy.But I think its better than venting my frustrations out on people,or blaming the world for my woes.

All I know is when I am done with my grief I'll go out like the old me and no one will notice that it ever happened.Then no more sorry looks,or symphaty that I clearly don't need.

Sigh.

Don't worry ya.Not that its the end of the world.Arif and I still talk,and we still go out to eat.We just decided not to get married,remember?Not kill each other.

Smile.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Clearing my Things

I have been thinking....maybe I should sell off some things that I have been keeping at home. Seriously...I have tonnes of blouses that I wore once and never worn again (and maybe can never wear because its no longer my size) and vintage bags and pouches I have been keeping since my "shopaholic" days. I use to go from shops to shops and get my hands on accessories - earrings, bracelets....that I keep safely in boxes for months now.

Sigh.

What a waste.

What say u? If I sell it here or put it on auction....would anybody buy?

Buzz me. If there's response I will start working on clearing my closet.

The Day I Snapped.....and Everything Went to Pieces

Its been days already, but I am still a bit traumatic. I can't believe what just happened, that somehow I am suddenly lost and confused and numb....the feeling is one of something that can't be described.....in which at the end, I admitted defeat and raised my white flag.

How can I put this out to the world???

Simple....I lost my mind. I snapped. And I bailed.

The wedding is permanently OFF. Not Delayed. Not Postponed in any way.

NOT.HAPPENING.EVER.

Let me count the reason(s) why.....

Hmmm...there's only one. At least there is only one main reason. I simply don't feel like going through it anymore.

And apart from that there are other sub-reasons....like....

Hmmmm....

I just can't put them into words.

Maybe its just enough for both of us to know why. It just hurt like hell.

My days are still a bit of a blur. When I woke up in the morning I felt angry, and sad....angry because the house I live in is like a hamster den....that I have to put on a normal face (and spent all morning searching for my "normal face" mask) and go to work as if nothing happened. Sigh. If I just can leave everything and jet out to timbuktu I would, but my family does not own a private jet.Sad because I feel so tired. After all this month of holding up a strong front I felt very very exhausted. And because of that, resulting to me being uber lazy and a broken down home.

Seriously, I wonder how I can ever exist there. There's clothes and shoes everywhere. And its sickening.

I spent the last 3 nights crying. Its not liberating at all. Though a part of me is relieved that its finally over but there's another part of me that's somehow very very sad and devastated.

Sigh.

We part on good terms though. So its not as if I'll be writing hate-mails in my blog about my ex for the next few months.

My ex.

It stings at just the mere mention of it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sakit perut tak hengat!

I am on mc today.Since last night I have been having serious stomach pain,siap diorrhea sekali.sigh.I think its the garlic baguette kat delifrance that I had yesterday after work.Damn you.Bila tengah gigih berazam tak nak jatuh sakit ni la bagai magnet disease pulak jadinya.

Thanks to those who are concerned.Sigh.Again,I don't feel like talking.But don't worry,I still have my sanity with me.So rest assure I won't kill myself.

Not that I have the strength to do it anyway.

My head is spinning with my stomach now.Kalaula my neighbour would just stop drilling,pasti aman hidup ni dibuai mimpi mimpi.

Yeah,I need escapes from reality.

Till tomorrow.Mwahhs!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It is not the best of days

My world is crumbling to pieces, so I am not in a jolly good mood to talk too much eventhough I am excited about having my cousin around, I got the 4th twilight book for free, and finally got my hands on my new JC charm.

*Cuz, I still can't believe that u ask for the pink candies at Juicy yesterday....seriously, what grown up ask for free candies? Thank God the lady is nice enough to give some to you!*

Sigh.

So key highlights of the day....
  • Late up. Stared the ceiling like a zombie coz I had a bad night. Dried tears piercing my face like hell. But rushed to the shower and showed up for work anyway.
  • Listed down things that I should do today but nothing was done, coz I can't help but stare at the screen and felt loss.
  • Lost all appetite and thinking of running away...which meant that later maybe its a good idea to be at the gym and run till I wear all this dreadfull feeling off.
  • Wondering all day how long I could keep up with this charade. Because seriously, I don't want pity once the news is out. I just want to get back to normal.
  • My food extravaganza (thanks to my cousin) is updated in my foodlog.
  • I love Giselle Bundchen's Ipanema sandals (they are uber cool and comfy!) - I should go get one soon!

Sigh.

My mom say its going to be okay. That we have gone through worse and its okay.

I hope so.

Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Plans , plans and more plans....

I thank God the Almighty for sending my cousin Bailey to town at this moment of depression....sigh.....at least there is somebody who can actually goof around with me and ease up my tension...

*Don't get me wrong. He's here with his girlfriend on a rendesvouz before heading to the City of Lion....I wish I can escape there too but I hate being a third wheel. So having their company for a couple of days is great...at least it takes my mind off things*

And hell yeah I am claiming my JC charm. If he thinks he can get away with it I will burn his New Balance shoes....hahahaah!!!!!

*gelak syaiton!!! Takkan la, after all his trouble to get my 4th twilight book....me mucho love you cousin, sompah aku takkan bakar kasut-kasut you!*

My diet plan (again) is put to halt since I have to go and take him out for dinner at Souled Out later tonight but I told him I am heading to the gym first (for at least one yoga session) so that I won't feel so guilty eating out tonight.

Yeah. Burn some to fill in some. Not such a bad idea.

I hope I have something nice to wear. I usually go out with my jeans and t-shirt but then, takkan la everytime mau keluar ngan jeans and t-shirt je, so maybe I'll take out a nice blouse for today.

*Bila agaknya dia nak bawak I jumpa my dad? Pitiful kan? To only get to see and talk to your own father when your cousin is around....and asking him to convey your messages to your dad over and over again simply because he didn't pick up your calls. Sigh.....*

Anyway, I am sooo looking forward to our May trip...and to hell if I am the only one heading to the islands this year I will make it happen and drag Bailey with me. Who said being married gonna make me all tied up into knots? Sigh. At the moment the idea of being all jammed up and tied up is not too appetising, and I wish I had done something 6 months back.

*What have I done to myself?????*

Tak sabar to pack up and leave.

Makan ...tido...baca buku...tengok DVD....

If there is a lazy weekend, last weekend was definitely one heck of a lazy weekend.

*I didn't patch things up with arif. I don't know what to do. But I suppose I have till the end of the day*

I eat (yeap, as in really eat), sleep and watch DVD's.....and this week sat in front of the tube and watched Ghost Whisperer season 4, and 3 other movies (including 24 the movie) sampai my eyes are bulginmg out of its socket. On top of that, I also read 11 chapters of the book, InkSpell, because I feel guilty carrying it in my handbag all week but never read past the first chapter.

And I felt Zen.

Yeah Zen...as in life is so peacefull and I want to hold on to it as long as I could.

Tell me about escape from reality.

Yesterday in one of the episodes of GW4 I came across a disease called bipolar. Apparently people facing the disease have mental issues to a point that they face constant mood swing from extreme happy to extreme depression and at times, push away their issues and in constant denial.

OMG.

Suddenly it hit me. Macam tetiba takut tak hengat. I don't want to have bipolar. Sheesh.

*That's me panicking*

So I am trying to keep myself sane. And I am gripping to as many things that I could to keep me sane.

Maybe I should quite my job, go to some foreign island and start over. I am so heartbroken at this juncture the running option seems like heaven.

Sigh.

Enough about all this.

Maybe I should get a show with a more positive message...apart from crossing dead people over to the "light".

Sigh.

Despite the lazy weekend, I feel exhausted. Lets just say that I am lucky I live across the road to office otherwise I would have to call in sick today. Sigh. I try to push everything back, re-organise my stuff and start updating my food log.

Hopefully today things will get better.