Sometimes I look back over the past decade in search of something I can be proud of, and some way or another I feel like I have dissapointed myself.
And I have only myself to blame.
Yeah. I made mistakes. I admit that. Somehow or rather I expected more of me but here I am, yet at another crossroad, re-evaluating my priorities, performance and yet again pushed to decide what I should do next and where to go to....
Of course, there are good moments.
I met great people that now became my best friends.
I had opportunities to work with extraordinary individuals that had taught me a lot in becoming who I am today. Up till today I look up at them as mentor and teacher.
I get to travel every now and then, which I love. I got to see new places. Breath air at uncommon places.
But then again not everything is as beautiful.
I also learn that people can turn against each other for personal gain. Not everyone should be taken at face value, no matter how sincere looking they are. No matter how you hate to admit, there are other people who are willing to sacrifice values to get a step further.
It hurts. But its true.
Sometimes it surprises me the length in which people can go just to get what they want (in which it can be both a good thing, and also a bad thing) and I suppose that I should have known better and expected the worse, rather than just expect the best in people and hope things will turn out well.
Maybe there are other greener pastures. Let's pray for it.