Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Weak moments

Its a bit sappy but then I was watching SATC re-runs lately and despite being down in love, I can't help but feel emotional over the poem....

Carrie's Poem

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile

He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"

Sigh.

Damn it I want my own "I do".

7 days before I am packing up my bags while the rest go"blue"


*ok...i might go blue too*

And now that its official I can shout out to everyone that in 7 days time I am going to say my official goodbye's to my existing collegues and bosses.

Should I google a "goodbye letter" template?

Sounds like fun.

I am here for over two years and had made great friends (like Kom, Wen Chu and Wei Liew to name a few, and many others.....) and I would be taken slightly aback in the new working environement where I won't be seeing those faces anymore.

That part....bummer.

On another note I am excited with the new job. New portofolio. New bosses. New hope. When all else fails at least a new start gives a little bit of something something to work on and hopefully things will eventually get better.

Positive thinking, positive thinking.

I refuse to dwell on my "man"ly problems. Maybe somewhere along the way I forgot about loving me and maybe this is the chance to get back to that, so no matter how things turn up later, I'm going to go selfish on me, me and me.

Maybe I should consider adopting.Like Kimora Lee Simmons once said "man come and go, the money come and go....but the kids stay". Maybe I should go adopt a kid from a third world country and name them with quirky names like "Maddox" and teach them to speak Malay. And just focus at that. At least adopting is not as destructive as bingeing on food or any form of substance that kills. It might make you a better person as well.

Or maybe I should just come up with a list of 100 things to do before I hit 30 and concentrate on that.

*and so not including "getting married" or "finding Mr Right" on the list.....otherwise it's totally jinxed*

Countdown starts now.

Smile!

Random babbling

  • Still felt slightly dumb over a lot of things.
  • I am not feeling too good. My throat is painful as hell. Its driving me crazy.
  • Despite having a sorethroat I would have to sit in for a conference call and (possibly) speak. Definitely feel like killing myself and let the goons take over everything upon my death.
  • Can't wait to go out!!!! Feeling so couped up that the last place I want to be is here.
  • Cik Kiah ajak pi buka puasa. The thing is I have been in the office everyday till after 9pm since last week. I don't think today will be any different....so sorry have to call a raincheck on you.
  • Kan best kalau banyak duit and ada private jet? Money does cure the pain to some extent.
  • Despite sakit tekak I still had the yummylicious parmesan cheese bun from the cafe downstairs. But then in between creamy cheese I can feel the prickly pain as the bun pass through my throat. Macam torture je. Nasib baik favourite.
  • Another week to go before I said my goodbye's and looking forward to it!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Among all days.....

Today is among the days I least blog about anything....for obvious reason orang yang tengah mati akal and depress mesti la takde mood nak berblogging. But then its also among the days that I got the highest hit counter with just a single entry.....mostly sebab orang google KLue Urbanscapes and then...there's this....

*cancelled wedding and later married the same person*

Apa kes? Its so not funny. Especially on the day that I feel absoluetly idiotic over the fact that I'm completely f**c*d up again.....

I felt this slightly numbing pain inside me and I have to constantly try to focus on other stuff (like work?) to just push aside the feeling to cry. Its damn phatetic. I cried to at least 6 people last night, and that doesn't count the 3 that actually dropped everything they were doing and rush to my place with a bunch of chips and coke and chocolates.....and watched Sex and The City re-runs with me till 5am in the morning.

I am freaking lucky to have such friends. Rest assure that I will return the favor (in any form, not necessarily a shoulder during heartbreak), so just name it ok, just name it.

*I even have an offer from a guy friend who would go and talk to the bugger and draw some senses, but then what's the point, kan???If someone had made up their mind berbuih la cakap macam mana pun you still got freaking f**c**d up in the end. Sigh*

My attempt at bravery is clogging my throat and I am somehow feeling massive dryness as if something (or rather somewhat) is stuck there. Teringat iklan Strepsil yang ada benda bulat mesin tersangkut kat kerongkong tu...scary. Sigh.

Tolong la jangan jatuh sakit. Its so not the time to fall sick.

I should look forward now. Perit pun takpe, hidup ni macam roda.One day things will get better, so I just have to stop trying to look back now.

*Wenchu keep on saying...."there's a whole forest, jangan sebab satu balak u bakar satu hutan, cengal pun bagus jugak...."....hahahaha!boleh tak?statement apa ni? Balak tak sama ngan cengal??? I keep on telling her that cengal is a type of balak, but she just keep saying that its two different thing*

Smile.

The Last String Pulled

Last Tuesday's pics of my LHUJ will be the the last pics of him you will ever see in my blog.

*okay, kalau keluar blog links I would not be able to help it. But then don't expect any new photos*

Because its over.

Because yet agian, he managed to cut through my heart with a dagger with the lamest excuse a person who love you can give....

....." that I think you will be better off with someone else and that there will be no future for the both of us".

Among others.

If he had loved me that would never be said. Clearly though he said that he did, he never did really love me.

Wake up. Its time to move on.

Thank God that I have Komala, Wen Chu and Wei Liew with me, or otherwise I would have ended up in God knows where and I might not even realised it.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

@ KLue Urbanscapes with Liza and Farah!

Dapat free tix to Urbanscapes but then Liza and myself sampai 10 minit lambat to redeem it and by that time semua orang Nuffnang dah cabut and kitorang berdua menggelupur kepanasan disana....

....no free entry to exhibits....

....my enthusiasm to meet Yuna and Pop Shuvit squashed...

....no checking out the various local acts.

Bummer. Buat penat rushing and going through the jam.

We were joined by Farah and Mylo and since alll of us dah senasib satu bot.....we end up just walking around the marketplace checking out the vendors there. Nothing much but watching the crowd is quite interesting, Semua agak fashiony.

Makes me feel underdressed.

Anyway, panas nak mati okeh. And I am too tired to elaborate too much so enjoy the pics!



















I came home with a bunch of cheap earrings and we had Nasi Daun Pisang at Nirwana @ Bangsar after where we were served by PMS-throwing-tantrum waiters. I gelak je tengok Farah sakit hati rasa nak maki waiter tu.

Hahahaaha. The thing is, its quite funny also to see how Farah is so hot and Mylo is so cool. Cute couple.

Its sunday and I am going to make the best out of it. Cya tomorrow folks!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Happynye can pack up and leave.

FINALLY SOMEONE CAME TO HER SENSES!!!!!!

Okay...kalau sampai bila-bila pun Megan Fox hot macam ni, sampai mati la aku suka tengok transformers....



Two words......and one exclamation point.
SMOKING. HOT.!
Enough said. Let's go to the cinemas now.

My LHUJ's Birthday Party @ HRC!

Despite my tight deadline, I can't dissapoint my LHUJ who wants to go out and have fun for his birthday so I went off work by 9pm and cepat-cepat bersiap and pick up Peeja at her place.......

The thing is its been quite a while okeh since I drop by HRC (yeah, being last was after the Cleo event thingy in May with Era's buddies) and I had a jolly good time. It was not so crowded, yet enough people around because there's 2 other groups celebrating birthdays as well the same night.

In amidst rushing and to get ready, I tertinggal my cam at home. Nasib baik Peeja is very very camera handy, or otherwise no pics of my first night berfake eyelashes!!!!


*Senyuman sejuta dollar*

We got all excited about the new toilet, because they have all this round mirrors so dalam bilik air pun sempat cam-ho.....



Meet my friend Ryn......

She just opened a salon in Ampang - The Mode Salon- and I am having my hair done there next month. I did mention I need new color kan. So since we're friends and she has great hair herself....harusla nanti I pergi sana. Will be a great change from Peek-A-Boo.

*or maybe I get a cut at Peek-A-Boo, and later get my color done at Mode...so that the hair style takde la shocking sangat kan?*

*Birthday boy*

Because its a weekday the party ends at 2am. Yeah, takkan nak berjoli katak then esok tak kerja kan.

We stayed back for light food and drinks at the Melting Pot cafe @ Concorde and look what Peeja did to my new wristlet.....

*tumpah kuah sate*

Nasib baik tak visible okeh. Dah la baru seminggu lebih!!!!!

*takpe-takpe....aku tetap sayang kamu*

Its a Friday and how I wish I can just drop everything and run!!!!


It has been a long week!Dah lama tak kerja lambat macam ni!Sigh!Ntah macam mana la rasanya when I move to a new job, and all this changes (again). I am hoping for the best!*wink wink*.

June is not what I'd hoped for. With the sudden rush of jobs and then deman, then the week after diorrhea, then semalam kena eye infection....(asyik sakit je memanjang)....tak boleh la nak berparty bagai orang gila. Sigh. Not that I have to do it, just that it would be fun to do it in June and its such a bummer that July will be knocking in soon, but then takpe.....operasi panggilan pulau sudah confirm jadi (yeah, tix sudah book.rakan-rakan dah confirm) and it would be a nice mini-break for me. Just to laze by the sea. Doing absolutely nothing.

*Don't get any ideas.This is a gril-trip. Not "I'm gonna get rowdy" trip - okeh aku tau Peeja tengah angkat kening...turunkan balik kening itu!*

Sigh.

Takpe la. Maybe if we can wrap things up by today I might not have to work tomorrow...then I can go for the KLue Urbanscapes happening @ KLPac Sentul and have some "me and my friends" time chilling at the event. Hahahahah! I so wanna catch Yuna and Pop Shuvit.....so have to be there latest by 4pm!!!!!

*ye la, the start sometime after 4ish....then have to allocate time for getting lost given the fact that the festival is huge!!!!*

Anyone going to be there??? Buzz me! We can meet up for coffee or something kay!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It has been ages since I go out on a weekday night....

It has been quite some time since I actually go out on a weekday, ye la, my party friends dah banyak yang settle down (and yes, I myself pun dah patut patut sangat la settle down,...tapi tak jadi) so when my LHUJ ask me out for drinks last night rasa macam tak sampai hati pulak nak biar dia pergi sorang-sorang.....

*Besides, I am freaking stress...I need to de-stress*

So I buzzed Peeja and we head to HRC later that night to join my LHUJ and a couple of his friends....

*okay...takde la sampai pakai underharments je kan....ni bukan wild wild...ini party light light*

Gilo!!!It was a blast!!!

Aku siap pakai fake lashes...hahahaha...thanks Peeja for the guidance.

Anyways, I terlupa bawak camera, so only Peeja has all the pics, so when she reverts them to me then boleh la kita sharing!

Back to work!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Lady Gaga playing in my head.

"Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna play around with your disco stick!*

Oh my, if only I could just leave all these papers and go out, out and out!!!! I am falling sick, after 4 days of crunching numbers and squinting my eyes extracting documents with alphabets with 6 size fonts, I am so not in the mood to stay here any longer.

*and partly because yesterday I worked till almost midnight. Kalau bukan chics merempan about it at her blog...I would have been proud...hahahaahh!!!!But then, thinking twice, its nothing to be proud of. I am stuck in the office while the rest of the world had a life! So phatetic! (eh, betul ke aku eja ni???dah tak boleh pikir dah!*

So the Lady Gaga song sort of played over and over again. Eventhough if we go through the whole lyrics the whole thing will go a bit dirty......(yeah, wanna play around with your disco stick!!!!!!) but then what the hell, it keeps on playing on and on and on in my head.

Maybe I should stop listening to my Lady Gaga CD and start listening more to Rihanna...starting from N.O.W!

By the way, I made a vow. If I work late till Friday I am ditching everyone at work and go for Urbanscapes on Saturday!!!!! Tak kira. The team has to take one sebab it is so IMPOSSIBLE for me to go to the Akon concert next Thursday due to the tight deadline (yeah, aku nak berparty bersama Akon di Sunway Lagoon...tapi sudah tinggal angan-angan kosong....ces!!!!) so better go missing on Saturday then on a weekday kan????

Anyone nak join????

Holler me okey!!! Kita jumpa di sana beramai-ramai mahu??? Then celebrate birthday saya mahu????

Talking about insecurity

I guess its pretty clear that my personal poison would be my own body image, and that projecting confidence, getting comfy in my own skin and getting myself together from devastatingly breaking to pieces over how I look and carry myself, no matter how vain (or not), is just not a very easy thing to do.

Yes, I can count myself as quite a strong person and that I live by what I think is best for me, me and me (oh, statement sangat selfish!) but then I can't lie to myself that there are times that I wish I look better. Or thinner. Or sexier (walaupun sekarang ni pun dah agak sexy). Or have a better peronality.

Like kinder. Calmer. Less Clumsy. and the list goes on.

I suppose what troubles me most is the fact that a person would walk by and look at me with a plastic surgeon's eye and start stripping me down to the very basics and srutinising my flaws....

*oh my personal nightmare*

Why can't I jus be gratefull of who I am and what I am becoming?

I am in fact, only human. And as a human, I have greed. Sigh.

*sometimes you can't just help but wonder aite?*

This is a reminder to myself.

There might be moments of insecurity when you might feel beat down or worn off but then the only person who can be strong for you is yourself.

You can make yourself beautiful - because there make-up.

You can make yourself look good - get new clothes that compliments your figure and your style.

You can be techno savvy - get new gadgets.

You can be happy - be with friends and family. And spend more time on yourself.

At the root of everything, there is one core person - you. If that one person give up and give in to insecurity, obviuosly it'll make room for desperation and devastation to kick in.

So smile, be merry and use up everything else. You already have the tools (the make-up, the shoes, the clothes, the people)...you just need to work on yourself.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Had Sakae Sushi for Dinner and it was awesome!!!

Oh yes, I have to admit that I do have a thing for Japanese food. And since the rest of the team wants to have Japanese tonight (before we slave ourselves again for corporate Malaysia) then I am more than willing to oblige.

There's nothing more mood-lifting than good food.

And it was sublime. We shared a bento, and I had Soft Shell Crab temaki and a couple more over the counter sushi. Verdict : Me one very happy person now, I don't mind tabbing the extra hours because I am now on top of the world.

Note to self : Excited about tomorrow ye???? Heheheheeh......*wicked grin spread over the face!*

Back to work!

Orang semua dah balik....tapi aku masih di ofis....

Apa??? Loser???? berani ko panggil aku loser sebab aku tak balik umah lagi after work???? Dan masih bekerja????

*takpe takpe.....dunia ni bulat. On day nanti ko kena kerja on weekend and sampai midnight baru ko tau*

Ces...tetiba amarah.

The thing is bila aku stress bekerja I tend to munch. Hari ni je I had 2 buns before lunch, then had porridge for lunch, and recently gobbled down a pack of Chachos all by myself. Sigh. Sangat tak bagus. Rosak diet mak weyh!

*not to mention bergelas-gelas Black Coffee, teh tarik and milo that comes free flow at the meeting room the whole day. Abisla, by next week datang balik la penyakit water retention aku nih*

Sigh.

I did a bit of bloghopping today tapi not many people updated. Whats happening???Takkan semua orang pun busy kot??? Update la babes, bila aku tensi-tensi ada jugak pengubat tekanan mental aku.....

Macam blog Nonoy hari ni, dengan ulasan keywordnya yang juga agak menarik.

Dan blog Farah hari ni, yang ada gambar-gambar piccas cari handphone baru Liza di Low Yat.

Dan Liza, takkan berhenti setakat amarah kot....mana gambar-gambar ko kat tempat yang Edan tak suke tu????

Peeja, aku tau ko sedih dan emo. Sabar-sabar ye.....nanti aku free kita keluar jalan-jalan kay. Pi berjimba ke, makan durian ke.....

And lastly Tina....suruh aku update, mana ko punya update????

Ahhhh...enough ye. Kalau aku start holler semua orang nanti bos aku start nampak la aku melilau tak buat kerja atas lappy ni. Nanti amuks kang mak tak boleh tido malam.

Mwahh mwahh, kiss kiss.....masih terbayang-bayang MacBuku Udara yang nampak bayang-bayang tapi ntah tercapai ke tak....sigh....doakan yang terbaik.

Why the hell is it 3pm already????

I hate to dissapoint people but I am really really short of time. Tengokla, its 3pm already and ada banyak lagi benda nak buat. Sigh. If ever we can simply add or subtract the number of hours in a day, obviously today will be one of those days yang bos I akan suka suki je add a lot of hours.....

But let's not dwell over it. No point complaining, takde hasil.

Today I got a shocker when I paid a visit to my Nuffnang Analytics, coz I usually make fun of all these search topics everytime Peeja fuss about it in her blog. Selalunya if ada la orang search for me keyword dia selalu je ala-ala suci...so rekod bersih tu sudah tercemar (buat julung julung kalinya) today.

Mari kita renungkan......

*kalau tak clear sila click the image to enlarge*

A few of the keywords that made me jump is.....

1. Cari sugar daddy

OMG ko ingat blog aku ni blog sosialista pencari jodoh???? Sigh. Ni mesti gara-gara komen Shasha yang banyak suruh aku cari sugar dady buat penawar hati duka lara. Oh man....tetiba rasa macam mother hen je.....

2.Abang bomba gay

Hahahaahah...this must have come up because of the "a lot of gay guys at gym" statement and the fact that I pernah mention pasal abang bomba somewhere for someone's someone's hens night! Hahahahaah!

3. Sleazy places in Ho Chi Minh.

Seriously, ada orang purposely cari sleazy places? To tell you the truth I suggest you just ngorat a local and make out at the park, rather than go to all the sleazy places and pay for it....then you get it free.

No offence....just a thought.

On a lesser shocking note, I think that even if Malaysia didn't make "having a baby car seat" compulsory, every driving parents should have one in their car for safety purposes. Better be safe than sorry ye, babies are fragile creature. Nanti apa-apa jadi susah pulak.

Like a friend of mine from when I was seven, she got into a car accident and fractured all he fingers, resulting to jari-jari yang selamanya tak membesar hingga kini. Sigh. Kesian ok. Dah la perempuan.

Cya later bunnies.

*oh, perkataan bunnies tu dapat dari chics!*

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Oh Kepala Ku Dah melayang ke MacBuku Udara Baru....So update le.....on My Bday....

I know I know I am suppose to be working but yet again kan aku multi task??? Haruslah percaya that I am putting on my "bionic" mode.....and sebab otak dah confuse (as well as separa beku juga), my thoughts are drifting to something else....namely the uber-slim MacBuku Udara.....

Sigh....

Eventhough dalam hati sebenarnya suka juga pada Sony Vaio TT.

Sigh....

So to avoid lookng like a blank computer screen thats going to crash really realy soon...*oh!touch wood!*.....baik update on my lil sis surprise birthday celebration.

Well, it was the stroke of midnight and I was sleeping already (yeah, sebab aku sakit....remember?) and she insist that I bangun jugak (okeh, adik aku kadang-kadang agak keji....sangat persistent) then tau-tau je bila keluar bilik she's already in that position....

*okay, lately macam banyak je gambar Ani tertonggeng-tonggeng macam tu....whatever la*

Sambil tu busy adjust-adjust the cake and the candles.....


*dia beli 2 kek itu...sebab dia suka je nak makan...nasib baik dia tak beli the whole cake...kalau tak sape nak makan???*

*Muka macam cavewomen sebab sakit kan....*

*Itu dia...from Lavender...mana dia tulih Happy Bday ni???*

*Aku hanya mampu makan bubur ayam McD saje....itu pun ani bawak balik jugak sebab I pesan*


*blowing candles...berdua je kita ye???*

And lastly, as if mocking me, she gave me this.....

*good one sis...tahun depan get ready to be mocked back!*

Mentang-mentang aku sakit ada je kena buli ye......

Tensi tensi sebab sakit tak boleh berpartay-partay and kena tunda sampai job minggu ni abis!!!!!

Sigh.

Note : My thoughts melayang ke lappy's coz my sister dah kedekut tak nak kasi lappy dia.Well fine! Aku beli sendiri! Dengan broadband sekali! Ko tunggu la....

Hahahaha...saje je. Thanks sis!

Kiss kiss....mwahh mwahh. Tahun depan buat lagi.

Back to Work...on A Sunday???? Now I'm on of the Crayzee's who Work on Sunday????

Trust me I am multi-tasking (yeah, sebab orang semua pi lunch and aku dok sini sorang -sorang so boleh la multi task :P) sebab bosan nak mati okay when you have to sit on the desk crunching numbers from a printout yang kecik and blur nak mati.

*oh, sakit pinggang. Oh my gawd, dosa apa la aku dah buat lately that renders me such misery???*

Sigh.

Ada kerja complain. Takde kerja complain.

Sigh.

Anyways, to those who miss me....

*senyum terpaksa on a Sunday morning. Aaargh......malas gila la nak kena pergi kerja*

Sigh.

Lets not talk about work when I only have a couple of minutes to spare. Mari merempan marah lab assiatant who took my blood sample last week yang telah mengakibatkan......

*sakit okeh!!!!sampai hari ni biru!!!!*

I hate it when lab assistants are impatient. Nampak macam kena dera je. Bila pergi klinik later for my diaorhea meds doktot macam terkejut tengok lengan i all bruised up - terus kena marah....

Alahai!!!!!...aku bukan junkie la!!!!Sila jangan bagi pandangan macam aku drug addict!!!!
Sigh. But then aku masih mampu tersenyum sampai last Thursday...despite perut memulas-mulas and asyik nak pergi toilet je (and lengan yang bioru didera)....

*Odw nak berblogger tea time session with my dearly beloved blogger babes....na, na, na,na...you make my day!!!!*

Want updates on that boleh baca kat blog foxy and blog peeja. Kalau aku nak update semua sampai lusa la tak abis cerita.....

*oh itu dia bday gift tahun ni...aku soka aku soka....tiap tiap hari aku carry sekarang ni tak kira la carry bag apa pun!!!!hahahahaha!!!!*

So old news tapi asal buat aku happy takpe!

My sister teman I pergi klinik (again!) when I still have my diaorhea thingy last Friday and tengok la adik aku buat apa while waiting for me.....

*Rajin okeh...baca brochure*

Suddenly dia tanya soalan cepu emas....

Ani : Kak Zu, ED tu apa?

Me : Ha? ED? Ko baca brochure apa tu????

*boleh tak baca brochure warga emas???*

Me : Erectyle Dysfunction la....

Ani: What? Wth am I reading?

Me : Itu memang sah sah untuk laki je kan....ko baca buat apa, ada ED ke???

Hahahahahha!!! Gilo.

*smile*

Before I go I wanna make a shout out to my Dad...Happy Fathers Day Dad! Nothings's perfect but I suppose you did try your best.

Note : shout out di atas takde kaitan dengan ED kerana aku tau bapak aku takde masalah itu sebab aku bakal dapat mak tiri baru yang muda.Hahahahahah!!! Go bapak!!!!

Okey, ini la akibatnya kerja on Sunday. Semua wire dah shot.Got to go and crunch more number!