Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When time passes freaking slow and your own friend kills the mood

Work is piling up like mad since yesterday...


*okay, this is exaggeration...not this much but at the pace I am going it'll be that much soon*

So pagi pagi dah chant mantra kat kepala "I am going to get ----- done by -----, and I am not delaying---- till tomorrow anymore" and "oops, I got to make a call to ---- ASAP so that i can cross it off my post it list".

Yeah, my desk is filled with yellow post its. Merata-rata in varying sizes. I am sick of yellow already, maybe I should go and buy those colored ones - pink, purple....ada ke?

*and can I claim back the cost? Gila ciput*

I managed to run through office work before straying to gmail and found yet another email that....

*what? u want to strip me bare naked and make me confess my woes baru you puas hati and regard me as a friend*

*woosha*

I let it slide bila dia tetiba merempan marah when I am the one who is suppose to be very stable and sangat tak emotional.

Tapi hari ni cross the line ok.

Is it so hard to understand that I need my own space? Maybe thats why some people just rather cut themselves out from the world and tak cakap to anyone when they are sad sebab kalau dia cakap sikit to sorang then the rest yang ingat dia cakap banyak mula rasa kecik hati sebab dia rasa dia tak important.

Sigh.

I tak label my friends. I even tak choose friends that hung out with me. I befriended everyone yang can accept me. There is no such thing as one friend outdo another, and that one friend is less important than another just because I answer one of the calls ke apa.

If I want to talk I talk. If I want to go out I go out. And friends understand that, respect that. The same applies to my friends. If they need me they call me. If they don't want to talk then I'll wait till they do. If they decline my invite to go out its okay, we can chill sometime else.

Kalau rapat macam belangkas je la baru consider kawan? Tak kira the years that you've known each other....ke apa ke? That no matter what had happen you still care about each other, and despite everything yang dah happen, and whatever material stuff in between.....you still stand around and care......itu tak matter?

Kalau kayu pengukur persahabatan tu setakat gossip, material exchanges and the frequency you hang out, and bila crisis melanda tak angkat phone sikit dah putus kenal bagai....then seriously, maybe both of us should sit down and think why we became friends in the first place.

Because seriously, aku cakap baik-baik ko kata bashing. You want a bashing, ambik. Kira baik la aku tak disclose ko sape. Nak tengok sangat aku emo, nak ambik.

Puas hati?

Sigh.

Now I have to go back to work.

4 comments:

Tina Banana said...

Hurmm,

Macam ni la. I've known you for years. And even though we are close, I know when it is to stay quiet and just give you some space and time. Setakat tak angkat phone bagai, I think it's a very small issue.

Take me and Peej for an instance. Lagi la. I rasa sepanjang I kawan ngan dia, boleh kira dengan jari la dia call I. But that does not mean she's not a good friend. And kalau I call dia tak angkat pun, takde lah I nak mengamuk ke apa. Come on la. Semua dh besar kan.

Kalau I jadi you Kak Zue, I akan buat tatau je. Just because you know that deep inside, u never meant to ignore her just like that. What u had gone through was sth really big. Bukan susah for a friend to understand that. And being a friend is not just by lending ears. Banyak lagi cara lain.

Takpelah Kak Zue. I love you anyway. nanti kita pg Bangsar lagi okkk, hahaha.

Muahssss...

Zuraida said...

yeah
kita pi shopping lagi.
tapi kali ni ko la shopping, aku tengok je ok...

*wink wink*

shasha said...

hmm...aku tak bole nak komen panjang..but aku harap kawan kamu yg baca ni faham dah apa maksud persahabatan...

n i e z a said...

some friend. instead of making u feel better, she/he made u feel even worse. i consider myself like u, at times i dont feel like talking, sometimes for days but my friends know me too well that i wasnt ignoring them, just that i need some me time. u did what u had to do, if that 'friend' couldnt understand that, she/he isnt worthy of ur friendship at all.