Still at office clearing out jackshit. *okay, exaggerating*. Ingat tadi nak balik at 7pm sharp but then its not 30 minutes past 7.30 and gosh its crazy la nak amend itu ini, so dok la berpikir sambil meng"amend" apa yang patut.Plus I have a date with Nina tomorrow, tak best la nak keluar ofis lambat kan so better I clear my work today.
Patut dapat award employee of the year. Pecah rekod ni kerja lambat-lambat macam ni. But kalau expect kerja lambat je as milestone you can just forget it la - it will never happen.
I am so looking forward to the time when all this crazy ass working late days will be over sebab seriously, I 'm getting really treally exhausted. Not that I don't get my 6 hours sleep a day, but all this mental (and at times physical stress) is leading to seriously stress eating which results to bloatedness, fatigue....very mild depression.
Speaking of which, makes me a meaner person by the day.
Impossible kan? As usual I ni begitu tollerant orangnya, but then lately I felt as if I am pushed to the edged and at times are getting a bit overbored in my response.
for example, today we had an argument on something which leaves me raising my voice to practically almost to the top of my lungs and started screaming things - in which if I am sane I usually will seat back and think for a while and later get back to the other party but today, no siree....I terus get jumpy and demand immediate settlement.
But it didn't happen without reason. I later explained to my boss and they totally understood. Some even felt the same way. So my jumpiness is substantiated.
Yet, since I do feel like I am mean, I felt a twinge of guilt.
Oh yeah,aku punya hati dan perasaan. I hate shouting/screaming/lashing and to do upon others the thing I did makes me feel bad.
Oh tuhan maafkan aku!
Okay. untuk membersihkan karma I vow to do one good deed every day. Maybe by doing good I will feel better and somehow can overcome this guilty feeling....then in return will be able to treat others better. I'll start tomorrow by smiling and laughing more. And on top of that maybe I should control my town, and instead of being jumpy, just take a deep breath and laugh it out.
Thats a good start. And maybe I should also learn to say sorry later when everythings done. Coz I seriously didnt mean to be evil.