Thursday, December 27, 2012
When I thought that I would finally find time to sit back, gather my thoughts and use the weekend to clean up and spring clean before the new year (and the new semester starts) the house just needs to be crowded again. Macam ni sampai bila pun rumah ni macam tongkang pecah sebab I don't have the space and the motivation to clean it. By the time I do have space later (that is when everyone is not around) work will be stretching me thin pulak.
Nanti cakap lebih lebih lain pulak jadinya.
So not in the mood.
4 days to new year. Hope your long weekend will be way better than mine.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Oh I miss Vin Diesel. He's super macho.
*drool...yeah I can drool. Coz nobody would bother. Lucky me. Heheheeh*
I have one more to go.
Till later peeps!
.....and a Happy New Year.
Don't over imagine okay. I could never fit is super mini skirts and go bare at the mid drifts.
Have a good break peeps. 6 days to a whole new year. A whole new mess...and opportunities a like...don't you just love how a year can unfold like mystery gifts?
Be safe on the road ok!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
I have a feeling of being lost over this past couple of days. Out of the blue there's a wall in my head and somehow everything is difficult.
Maybe its a phase.
A friend text me saying that she wish she is as strong as I am. It surprises her how I manage to pull myself together after what have happened over the past couple of month.
I am but human. I bleed and I feel pain. Others may not be able to see the scars over all the cosmetics money can buy, but it doesn't mean it ain't there.
I am human and I bleed.
I sat for my last paper today at lost of what I was doing and couldn't even make sense of what I wrote on the answer sheet. Crap.
Perhaps what I need is a break from all this.Its good that the semester break is starting soon.
Lets all pray for change. Lets all pray for something better. And in the process, lets pray to heal.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The past two weeks had been a mix of crazy and hecticness....it made me question what the hell I am actually doing the things I am doing right now (study, work etc) and whether its all worth it. I know, my decisions are initially made with best intentions but the turn if events that led to it was questionable...I wish I wasn't pushed by circumstances to do what I did because there is certainly a lot on my plate right now.
Guess what? Time passed so fast, I didn' t even realised that it has been 10 years since I left uni and joined the workforce. After a decade has anything changed? Hmmmm..... I can say a lot has changed. The person I know 10 years ago seems like a distant memory. But to be frankly speaking at this point I am trying very very hard not to lose myself.
But then my working hours seems to reset back to when I first started 10 years ago the moment I join my new co. In one hand the long hours helped me heal the pain I'm going through at the moment - it deinitely pulled me out of my misery - but then again I felt like I'm running around like an energiser bunny....I am just afraid I might burn out sooner tha I thought.
Of course, when venturing into the new and the unknown everything is very scary. I have to admit that I might be fearing the worse. But I am trying to reserve my thoughts till when the worse actually happened, because there is no need to panic no?
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Thanks to Shahnaz for co-organising (and putting up with my crappy work and study schedules) and my gal pals for being there. You guys made my day.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
If I get to leave everything and start over and find love as sweet as in IAD I would just leave and do it. What the heck. For a moment I actually believe everything could be fine again.
Young love. I believe I use to be that optimistic, alas I suppose age changes you.
Yet the movie is an excellent one - now I put Lisa Surihani as one of my favourites after Fazura and Maya Karin. You think Lagenda Budak Setan 2 can beat that? On top of an easygoing and fun story line, the movie is shot in a super nice location and the soundtrack cam best. I give the movie an 8.5 out of 10. And then nanti nak beli the CD and the DVD. hahahahhah.
Yeah when I love something I psycho much.
In order to move on I am now embarking in yet another new challenge. Yesterday, I started my day in a new job. New role....new responsibilities. New faces. Hopefully this can give me the distraction I need and the strength to stand back on my own two feet - now better than ever.
Wish me luck?
xoxo. Till later!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
One of my bestie said to me......don't be in denial.
In my defense I wish to quote Carrie in SATC on he take on her Mr Big " He's not a crush, he'a crash".
And I didn't expect a crash. I was not prepared for a crash nevertheless it happened. Perhaps that made it worse. Its hard to explain....some of you might judge (oh yes, that happened too) so I hate to divulge details.
Well fine. I am posting a pic of me smiling to show that I am capable of pulling myself together at even the worst possible time. To show that despite all odds, I can put a strong front.
But then bak lagu rossa, "aku wanita...punya cinta di hati..."...
Baik tak payah sambung. Later ntah ke mana ntah post ni pergi.
I have been receiving a few interesting sms's and email's lately in response to my last post. It's nice to hear that there are people out there concerned about me after following my blog in silence for so long. Some dated back since 2008....that's like pre-arif break up period. This past year I haven't been writing much, mostly due to time constraint, partly because I don't want to be judged (because seriously, that happened before too) but there are a few who manage tounderstand what's happening with very few written and said between the lines.
Phewh. funny isn't it.
The most intresting email yet was received yesterday. It was quite well written, and I wish to quote a para here to share.
".....its not about who's leaving who, nor its how you direct yourself into situation like yours. its about what you felt, how you feel, and how you want yo remember someone, and most of all, how much you want to love someone. At the end life goes on. But we can remember this moment as something that will always put a smile on our face.For as long as we live."
He loved the same women for 13 years...and still loved her eventhough they didn't eventually end up together.
*awww, now we know where all the men went, they areeither married or pining over lost love. Which leave the rest of us...hurmm...okay stop it*
Its such a positive take on a breakup, I suppose that time will eventually ease the pain and bring you to that. But then what if such joy equally brings pain, and the moment you remember how happy you have been, it just make you feel sad?
It is a crash remember? Do I have to spend another decade trying to get over it?
*pejam mata kuat2. Nauzubillah.....tolongla jangan ambik lagi 10 tahun*
Emotionally drained. Trying to have more faith. Reminds me how easy it was when I was naive, i felt like back then naievity comes with more strength and resillience. Afte all these years ignorance went out of the window, I tend to pick up more broken pieces and end up being what I am now....scared.
But again.Life goes on.No matter how scared we become we just got to brave it till we're claimed back right? So I suppose I'll find a way to be okay.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Do not try this in class. You just might get caught.
Note to self : Need to snap out of this. Shouldn't let him drag me down.
Confused in the box of love. Praying that I can find peace, somehow.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The Palace has its specific open and close times so while waiting for the noon session I walked straight pass the palace to Naga EntertainWorld aka the Dragon Centre.
Don't be fooled. Its not a shopping mall. Its just a huge casino. The only designer boutique they have here is Cartier and you won't find anything else. Unless you gamble, this place won't tickle your fancy. I was dissapointed....I was expecting something like Marina Bay Sands but then hey, wishful thinking la ni.
They Dragon Centre has posh restaurants with quite reasonable price range. Of course because its meant for high rollers, the deco was posh and nice. I manage to skim through the menu and for the place and what they are offering, the price is not bad at all.
So maybe it's something you guys want to check out. The posh restaurants. Nothing outside this place is going to be more posh than this.
I took the tuk tuk from the centre back to the Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda's in time to make the que for its noon session. Entry is USD5.25. Enjoy the pics!
At the end of it all its good to just sit back, relax and enjoy a good cup of coffee.
I have been getting emails to write on travelling solo. I know, its scary to brave the unknown on your own. I have that fear as well. That's coming next. So stay tuned.