Thursday, January 26, 2012

On being (over) confident under your own skin

I am a true believer that you should love your body despite whatever the size it's in. Being a person who had crazily yo-yo'ed from one size to another within a short period of time, I understand truly well how being (slightly) overweight (or not) might have an impact to one's self-esteem. Being overweight (or commonly termed as fat, no offense, but we excessively use the word everyday anyway) may at times makes us feel under the blues, more overly lessen our self-esteem.

Ye la, if you're not comfortable under your own skin, sampai bila nak downgrade diri sendiri tak? We should be more empowered and willing to try new things, despite whatever people say. Because we matter, not them.

Yes, we tell that to ourselves every single bloody day. Sigh.

I truly admire people who loves their body and carries them well in thick or thin. They are truly courageous and exudes the self-confidence admirable to both old and young. Being confident allows them to push boundaries and do things just like every one else - without shame or guilt or fear. Being in a certain size shouldn't limit a person's ability to interact,communicate with others or do things they wish to do.

But then, hiking confidence level tak bertempat, is it acceptable?

Dressing up with confidence is not simply a matter of dressing up in every possible garment available. It should be dressing up with grace and dignity and being able to look good in it no matter the size and shape. Of course, being in a certain (plus) size (like me....huargh!!!! ngaku jelah!!!) might limit the available dressing option, but then it doesn't mean that there's nothing in fashion that you can't put on. We should be more tasteful in choosing fashion that compliments our body shape (figure hugging at the right places), colors that compliments our skintone/hair color or perhaps shoes that makes us taller/fancier.

Sebab what's the point if you put on a dress but it makes your boobs look as if its sagging? Or you put on skinny jeans when it makes you look like a log, when a bootcut simply makes you look curvacious? Or put on a top too tight (coz you love the color so much) but all the buttons are screaming its way off?

At the end of the day shoes/clothes/dress/etc are just tools to make us look better. The choice is ours to make ourselves look/feel. good.Given so much choice, why must we push too much to a point that we look like a moving victim by dressing inappropriately? 

Believe me, at times dressing in a Marilyn Monroe look-like dress may at times be inappropriate, given the circumstance.

Its a matter of how much you reveal, perhaps. When you reveal to much a person might end up - hmmm- go figure.At the end of the day no one wants to be a fashion victim, we always want to be elegantly put just like this....

Yes, sexy. Elegant. The right hold at the right curves.

You may go "sexynya pompuan ni" but then even if she has bulges underneath that skirt you won't be able to see it because voila, its demure enough and focus on the cute leg!.

Just saying.

On Project Awesome

*simply...coz I am*

A blogger I know (hmmm...bolehla) has initiated a collage making initiative called Project Awesome to cultivate the spirit of awesomeness in all of us and had called for entries of piccas with a statement "I'm awesome" from everyone who are willing to participate in order to come up with the collage.

So far this morning he had received 32 pics (and counting) from readers/followers of his blog/FB/twitter and had launched the project full scale via a new blog ProjectAwesome2012. I think its kinda cool, so I took a post-it and snapped a pic but then before emailing my picca I realised that there are rules (that the pic must be between the waist and head, and the word must be on an A4/A3 size paper so it'll be huge enough to see) so I suppose I have to go back and re-do another shot.


In spirit of spreading the awesomeness around let us all join in! It's open till 12 Feb 2012, so snap a pic and send them now!

Monday, January 23, 2012

And its another long weekend.....

Happy Chinese New Year folks and hello long holiday!


The past couple of days had been a whirlwind of emotion. Was away with some friends the past couple of days for some R&R which had turn slightly downhill it kills my mood midway through the trip and decided to cut it short and excuse myself early. I suppose at some point I became a bit too cranky and pissed off over minor things that I shouldn't have bothered in the first place but then it really ticks off my nerves to a point that it bugs me every waking second, I suppose there are some things that are just not meant to be and I should be more carefull with people I embrace and bring in to my fold....

....because I am a delicate person. Since my concern for others are at times overwhelming, I expect those who are close to me to be just as concerned and sensitive. Then we are in the same page. But then some people are more competitive than accepting, and I don't do well in a competitive environment.

Just saying.

But all is water under the bridge. I vow not to think to much of it and just move forward. Apart from the slight minor hiccup that led to the (sad) outburst, everything else was okay. And since I am back home early and had no other plans (other than plans with my bestie Komala later which is long overdue) so I took the chance to bend and fold my body in Bibie's Ashtanga class at my gym.

In which makes me feel much much better.

I have to say that there are no better injection of calm and relief compared to an hour of humbling sun salutations and stretching. If its a good day and there's a progress in my arm balancing it'll make me even happier because hey, to tell you the truth my existing size and extra layers of (unwanted) fat ain't helping in between foldings and bendings. Still, practice makes perfect. So adhering to the mantra of my fav yoga instructor Ninie, lets keep on practice, practice and practice.


*ninie if you're reading this I am really sorry I can't make it to your class lately. I am juggling with time and my classes are now on weekends but rest assure I will find time to practice. Just I know sometimes she reads me.*


This calm is good. I'm savouring it for the rest of the day. Wish all of you out there the same great feeling, wherever you are.

Love and peace.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Mustering the courage to move forward.....

Tomorrow is a start to a new chapter in my life in which I am very excited and eager to kick start - tomorrow I will officially start my first DBA class in a local uni in the heart of KL town. To some people it might seem an utter nonsense as to why I chose to take up the course in the first place but for me its a self-actualisation thing. At this point I need something that can empower and grow me, personally and intellectually, and this might just be something that I need.

Because I have no commitments that grounds me (apart from work), friends are busy with their own priorities (and who could blame them?) and I have no nucleus family of my own and tiny lil fingers that held my hand and make me stay at home more. So here, books are my new anchor and hopefully it will take my to great lengths.


My last formal class in uni was in Oct 2002. It has been almost a decade since I was in a proper classroom and it is somehow making me nervous.

What if I am not as good as I use to be? Not as focused or attentive? How do I react in class? How am I suppose to juggle class with work?

(ho yeah, because everybody knows I study well when I sleep all the time and being at work means less sleeping time. weird aite?)

And the list of what if's goes on....

...sigh. Paranoia.


Definitely its a whole lot of mixed feelings. But then lets hope for the best.

Time may have slightly worn me off but I should have faith that deep inside I have the strength for this and that I can do it.

Chin up. I'll pull through this.