Sunday, April 28, 2013

On anxieties....

I hate to admit that to some extent, I (like many urbanites these days) experience stress related issues the likes of anxiety disorders. Extreme pressure leads to stress, which brings (to a point) panic attacks - and later on - excessive worrying, OCD's and the list goes on. There was a point of time that my body seem to go on a "cr for help" mode when such stress later translates to health issues like excessive migrains, athma, insomnia, gathritis etc - before it actually came up to a certain point of insanity - and after going through a phase (or two) of such occurence, I no longer felt that its something uncommon or to be taken lightly - we all live in a stressful world and stress management should be done wisely.

And of course, there is nothing to be ashamed in getting the proper treatment to deal with it. After all, there is no such thing as being too crazy for anything. Its even crazier to know that you have a problem and not do anything at all.

Back to me, yes I have anxiety issues and for a while now my friends are quite supportive of it. Most of them  know that despite my relaxed, non-chalant and laid back exterior - I do have a breaking point - so I don't stress myself by worrying too much of things that are not related to me, I compartmentalise stuff and live in a happy place so that I can face my ever so stressful days at work. 

Until lately I befriended the ultimate diva and drama queen.

Usually a friend of mine will pick up my dismissive traits and my non-interest to on-going conflicts and drama - but not this one. I suppose I have dropped clues along the way that I am somewhat not interested - there is only so much drama a girl can take in a day, or a week or a month - but this friend of mine keep on going on and on and on. No offense, he has a good heart - a big kind heart - but it doesn't help knowing all other's people problems in school and diving into issues that pushes me negatively ; I try to be uber positive and compartmentalise as much as I can and try to stay in that happy place of mine - but then I am not into drama.

Over the past few weeks I have been hearing tonnes of other people's drama that at some point, I am starting to judge and screamed "go get a grip!". Talking about toxic people around you. Sigh. Now, I am just shaken.

Oh my, anxiety level one has kicked in.


I am starting to feel uneasy. Definitely uncomfortable, pain in my chest.

I can't focus,

I am short of breath.

Its so shitty it felt like I am shunned in a closed space when in fact I just got back from the best 4 days at the beach.


Breathe. I can get through this. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Minggu terbang ke awan biru

It ha been a tiring 3 days as I rush between KL - SG - KL - KBR - Perhentian....and in between flights, I have traed suits and my laptop bag with a backpack and totes - waiting on to board en route my next destination, Irealised I forgot one of the most important thing I must have while travelling.......



Tak larat nak marah dah.

So tired.

Oh Im called to bored. Sayonara!

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Saturday, April 13, 2013

T-5 to nothing but one of the most amazing beach in the world...

One exam paper down., two submissions in progress for despatch in Monday morning and countdown to yet another piece of paradise that has nothing but sand, sea and sun...

*pics courtesy of Google - my archive of pics from Perhentian is stashed in an unreachable cloud server at the moment but then what the heck - Perhentian looks like Perhentian is at any pics la kan...*

After 3 months of gruelling work schedule, I am so looking forward to the next 5 days isolated without phone reception and wifi  - I have never felt so relieved over the idea of total disconnectivity to the world ; it'll be bliss to be out of the office and not-think-about-work-at-all for once. 


But before that actually happens, I have a pile of paperwork to attend to. Gambate gambate!!!



Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Hello hello apa khabar di sana?

I have been working on a financial project over the past 3 weeks and gosh it is super tiring. After almost 3 weeks of staring on excel spreadsheets day in and day out, I somehow felt washed out and zombified. My boss dah a few times tanya "kenapa muka you all macam kena langgar bas ni?" and macam automatik dalam hati I answered "lagi mau tanya". I wear so much powder and blusher this past 3 weeks I think I have to hit the stores again to refill my makeup, and God knows I am not the pakai-makeup-24-jam kind of person. Sigh. I think what startled me most this morning is the fact that I immediately switch on work mode the moment I wake up and thought about shooting emails to people even before leaving my bed - and guess what? I am not even suppose to work today because I got time off to catch up with my study for exams due this Saturday.


Yes. Borderline. It was okay when all I have is work - now I felt sandwiched between work and my study commitments and I am bleeding tears.

So I called Tina and asked her out for lunch. I have to admit that having her around keeps me sane. And if I look back over the years there are very few people who put up with my insanity - and Tina has gone through all my crazy.

Hahahaaah. Babe. If you're reading this...lunch. Please. *grin*

Despite all odds, rest assure that I still try maintain muda....

Hahhahahah. Tetiba. Hidup kena ceria. It seems like my stress only shows around the eye area - macam area lain masih boleh diselamatkan.

Okay, enough blabbering,

Gotta finish a paper and at least 10 pages of write up by 8pm - before I started digging for another 100 page writeup that I am to finish by Friday. Kalau dapat abis hari ni much better - not that I am not used to writing loads of craps in record breaking time, tapi one of my workmates yesterday pointed out that writing so much is simply impossible. Dengan muka amazed tahap gaban nye he went "What? 10 pages per hour?? possible ka?"

Mission impossible you say?

Actually its not that tough f you have in mind what you want to write. The hurdle is getting through the first 20 pages - the rest will just flow in naturally.

Crossing my fingers. Turning of my corporate hat and wearing my student cap now. I have about 9 hours. If I focus then it should be okay.

*just don't panic*


Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Komiti Ansara Terendak 2011/2013 - tetap dihatiku...chewah!!!

Last weekend we had the annual AGM for Ansara Terendak held at Pusat Kesihatan Bangsar - alhamdullillah the attendance was way better than last year. This year there are almost 30 attendees, whereas the year before there were only half of that ; mostly attended by then the existing committee members. But takkan nak expect the same committee members to continue on indefinitely la kan? We were quite happy to get responses on the latest AGM - at least it shows that there are members who cares out there.

I barely blogged about the committee sebab I am not actually elected pun - I ni most of the time consider bidan terjun je. But I am glad I took the time to help out - it had been fun joining the committee members in organising GMG-BK and bug them during committee meetings for softcopies of tv series and movies yang I malas nak download sendiri. And of course one of the perks of always tagging along is the constant invitation for santai sessions (i.e barbeque's, game nights, buka puasa etc) that the committee members throw every now and then - so lively jugak la hidup aku ni dengan kehadiran diorang.

Ho yeah! They're a fun bunch! *heart*

Before the AGM last weekend they held a final meeting pre-AGM at Mulan's office in Danau Kota, and guess what? Since most of the exco members are new elect for next round, wanna sneak peak to what usually happened in between discussion meetings of the ex-committee member?

Hahhaahha! You are in luck! Meh sini akak divulge details....

Usually we started off with dinner somewhere. Office Mulan kat Danau Kota ni banyak eateries - so last week we had western at a place called Toowomba. Situ je dah abis sejam.

Of course la kan nak bincang isu berbangkit we all kena makan dulu.

While in the meeting first sekali kena bukak tv dulu...

See itu TV besar? Thanks Mulan sebab ofis dia serba complete.

Of course during meeting kena ada orang bawak refreshments - hence large glass on the table with juice.

Itu kena ucap terima kasih to who ever yang sponsor that day.

Last week it was on Mulan (lagi!). Next committee meeting kena bawak air sendiri. *sad face*

So usually we have to multitask during meeting - so everyone has their own lappies and whatnot. Everyone is so technology savvy - namakan gadget ; you will definitely find it lying around somewhere.

Of course last week the VP (Abg Johoe) head the meeting. Other members (termasuk exco tak rasmi like me) usually just chip in along the way.

Gambar-gambar ni tak dibuat-buat, we actually do goof around during meetings. Kalau time organise activity like GMG BK lagi la happening. Paling suka kalau seniors buat bbq party and karoke! Yeay seribu kali!

Going through the pics made me miss them already!

To all the committee members 2011/2013, if you guys are reading this (in which I sure one or two of you would) it has been a great pleasure knowing you guys! Kita keep in touch okay!!!! *grin* Thank you for all the good times, I will be forever gratefull if moving forward we all still can hang out, korang memang best.

The last AGM had elected a new bunch of committee members to continue on the torch for the upcoming cycle, and its a mix of experienced and new members. I have to say la meeting haritu sangat la panjang - pencatat minit ni sampai lenguh tangan dan kembali kelaparan , tak expect la kan AGM will go on that long sebab the year before they all spent like 30 minits je kot including makan makan. Hahahahah.

Anyways, I hope the new team will have the same (or even better) spirit of the existing team, and of course, sebagai Ansarian lets all give them our fullest support!

Yeay to Anasara Terendak!