Sunday, April 28, 2013

On anxieties....


I hate to admit that to some extent, I (like many urbanites these days) experience stress related issues the likes of anxiety disorders. Extreme pressure leads to stress, which brings (to a point) panic attacks - and later on - excessive worrying, OCD's and the list goes on. There was a point of time that my body seem to go on a "cr for help" mode when such stress later translates to health issues like excessive migrains, athma, insomnia, gathritis etc - before it actually came up to a certain point of insanity - and after going through a phase (or two) of such occurence, I no longer felt that its something uncommon or to be taken lightly - we all live in a stressful world and stress management should be done wisely.

And of course, there is nothing to be ashamed in getting the proper treatment to deal with it. After all, there is no such thing as being too crazy for anything. Its even crazier to know that you have a problem and not do anything at all.

Back to me, yes I have anxiety issues and for a while now my friends are quite supportive of it. Most of them  know that despite my relaxed, non-chalant and laid back exterior - I do have a breaking point - so I don't stress myself by worrying too much of things that are not related to me, I compartmentalise stuff and live in a happy place so that I can face my ever so stressful days at work. 

Until lately I befriended the ultimate diva and drama queen.

Usually a friend of mine will pick up my dismissive traits and my non-interest to on-going conflicts and drama - but not this one. I suppose I have dropped clues along the way that I am somewhat not interested - there is only so much drama a girl can take in a day, or a week or a month - but this friend of mine keep on going on and on and on. No offense, he has a good heart - a big kind heart - but it doesn't help knowing all other's people problems in school and diving into issues that pushes me negatively ; I try to be uber positive and compartmentalise as much as I can and try to stay in that happy place of mine - but then I am not into drama.

Over the past few weeks I have been hearing tonnes of other people's drama that at some point, I am starting to judge and screamed "go get a grip!". Talking about toxic people around you. Sigh. Now, I am just shaken.

Oh my, anxiety level one has kicked in.

Sigh.

I am starting to feel uneasy. Definitely uncomfortable, pain in my chest.

I can't focus,

I am short of breath.

Its so shitty it felt like I am shunned in a closed space when in fact I just got back from the best 4 days at the beach.

Sigh.

Breathe. I can get through this. 

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