Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
*image ihsan google*
To say that I am not excited to celebrate Hari Raya this year is an understatement. I think I went the extra mile - I bought kuih raya, I bought baju raya (for everyone - that's a first), I tukar duit raya and put them nicely in green little packets for all the young relatives and kiddos I am expected to meet on Hari Raya morning itself and I sang along Hari Raya songs on the radio on the drive back home.
It was perfect.
Till raya morning people start complaining about my weight (as if they need to feed me all this while, and that I am shocking everyone but how I impressively gained weight on record breaking time as compared to everyone in the room). Oh and they made it pretty clear its a huge deal - they chant it like its a raya mantra - more than the day's greeting itself.
But that's okay - I can get through that.
Then they start questioning about me being single - as if not being married is a disease. Takpe takpe - itu pun aku dah biasa ; but they decided to go the extra mile and asked about my long gone ex-fiance. Hey, itu a bit too much la kan. We don't talk ill of the dead. Whatever la we have ever done to you? Ada mintak duit kau masa kitorang nak kawin dulu tak pulang lagi? Macam tu?
Irregardless I smiled. I tried to ignore everyone. Besides kata balik kampung raya setahun sekali.
But when they start to chant the same mantra to my siblings and indirectly put me as an example of an epic failure, I decided I had enough.
You don't get to treat me like trash. Especially when I regard you as family.
The fact that it came from the very roof I stayed in hurts like a twin blade slashed over my bleeding heart.
So I told my mom I am leaving - took a bath, packed my stuff and left.
I am never going back there again.
I am done.
And God forbid if I am ever going to get married ever, I don't want them anywhere near me.
And ma I know you are reading this so please note.
Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin.