Monday, May 12, 2014

Mengharapkan hujan rahmat......

Its Monday and its stressful.

First of, my ultimate sign of stress is showing as bad as the hujan outside - mencurah-curah. I have a few stuff that has been stressing me out. Work is an obvious depression, but I can't really complain because since when does work become easy peasy? 

My house is tunggang-langgang. OMG, I can't believe the amount of clutter I have. My sister being home the whole week last week was a blessing - at least she's been happily cleaning most common areas but my room? I'm back to feeling like I live in a walk in closet and I wonder why I have such a huge bed in the first place....nak jalan around the room pun payah. Nak campak-campak barang tak cukup space. Nak letak additional cupboards pun macam nak kena buang old almari.

Apa nak jadi la dengan aku ni?

The new semester is starting in a week and I have yet to decide on what I want to do next. I felt so lost. Now I start regretting the whole decision to even want to do my postgrad in the first place. Apa la labu....now tak pasal-pasal cari bala. What if I drop out? But I never drop out? How can I live with that? Plus I paid my tuition out of my hard earned cash - sanggup ke nak drop out? But then I don't know how I want to move on from here - macam all of a sudden I braindead. Last weekend my course instructor gave me a personal call and reminded me that I am no longer on deferment - she asked me whether I am ready to comtinue and whatnot and by now I should be all geared up with what I want to do - I tried sounding enthusiastic about the whole thing and told her not to worry when in fact I was developing deeper frown lines throughout the whole 5 minutes conversation.

Of late I was put in the position to explain my finances simply because a certain someone fails on a promise. I know, I shouldn't be fussing sebab its suppose to be a small thing....but the thing is I hate it when people start questioning my finances / or put me in the position to be answerable towards my finances, sebab I memang ngam ngam plan what I want and what I need to pay with what I have ; if I have extra I tak kisah la nak tolong but then when we do help with a promise that its due on a certain terms it'll be superb la kan if you can make good on it - takkan la nak explain my cash flow position sebab nak collect kot?

*ok....stress alert*

Tak pasal-pasal abis melayang niat baik aku everytime I stress about it quietly inside. Hopefully God can make me stronger than this. Patience. 

Its chilly to the bone now. The office is freaking cold for a Monday. 

Anyways, tomorrow's PH. Lets just hope that all this will melt away somehow.

You guys have a good one.

xoxo.





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