Monday, July 14, 2014

Talking about insecurities.....

Good morning!!!!!

The roads were pretty clear today. Perhaps everyone took the day off post a long night watching the World Cup finals. To some its a long weekend because tomorrow is a public holiday (for Nuzul Quran - always envied the Selangorians for getting extra day off but heck this year we KLites get it too, so fair and square) so its kinda obvious a lot of people will be enjoying slumberland now.For people like me who's less excited about football and decided at the very last minute that sleep is more important anyway, here I work.


Not that I don't want to watch the World Cup finals. Who doesn't want to feast on Argentinian No 22 sweating all over the field but lets be practical here....I am not a buff. And when there's no one to enjoy it with I might as well spend my time catching up with beauty sleep. It is aired in the wee hours in the morning after all.

I have a feeling Germany would win anyway. It comes to happen that they did. So no qualms in not catching it. I seem to have a sixth sense for this.

Talking about beauty sleep I always felt that I never had enough. Last year was miserable. I barely slept. With work and catching up with submissions in school, I was a walking zombie. But then things got a little slow this year, and I manage to work on balancing my time and commitments, hence more sleep time but then it never felt enough.


Bad thing about not getting enough sleep is that it gets my mood all screwed up. When I am moody I eat. When I eat I gain weight. When I gain weight I feel horrible because I am like a stuffed bebendum doll. Its like a bad domino effect....the pieces starts falling and they were all black. Gets pretty insecure when some hot chick walks next to you (ok seriously, they don't have to be that hot or beautiful, just plain skinny will do) and suddenly all the confidence goes crashing to an all time low.


There were times when I forget being beautiful should not be so superficial.

That beauty lies beyond physical appearance.

That what's beautiful in me is never the way I look but how I smile and light up when I am happy, how I laugh insanely as if my heart is exploding, how carefree I am when I speak and carry myself in a crowded room, how funny I can be when I talk to others - that I am beautiful because of my wit and confidence, and my physical appearance is simply complimenting all my other beautiful character traits.

And that I should never forget that nothing is ever a competition.

There's never a competition to be smarter, or prettier, or more beautiful - what we get out of it was never a prize to be won. So why should I compare myself to others and feel insecure?

I should embrace me. For all my faults and insecuirities....I am my own perfect person. No one else can be me.

For I maybe flawed and lacking - but I should know that deep inside, I am stronger than what I think I am capable of.

All this because of beauty sleep.

You have a good week.


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