This past 2 days my nights has been restless. Despite all efforts (meditation, metta, lai-ching, practice headstands) I have trouble going to bed. So I end up sorting my laundry (3 weeks of laundry, so much baju and still I shout I don't have enough. I suppose the noise was so loud the guard just have to pay me a visit and tell me to stop doing my laundry because everyone else wanted to sleep), re-arrranging wardrobe, sorting through my massive amount of shoes (oh last night's count stood at 60 pairs, can you believe it?) - guess what, spring cleaning still hasn't ended. Halfway through my mind will be pre-occupied with something so I left things halfway, I seem to be somewhat out of focus and the house is still a pile of mess.
I end up sleeping after sahur sometime close to 3am. I must have been tossing and turning badly because I woke up with sore left shoulders.
And my neck is super stiff.
*susah bila emosi tak stabil ni*
I woke up to good news. But then I am not really sure whether its gonna be really good or not. Because I just got a one liner and suddenly.....silence. Hmmm. I am so not good with silence. The fact that it gives mixed signals is a bitch. But then you can't force people to layan you all the time kan? So senyap je la. When people wants to talk then later pandai2 la diorang datang balik. Sigh. Taking a deep breathe, I try not to be bothered with things that are out of my control. So I pulled myself together, took a chill pill (literally) and sing in the shower like nobody's business till I feel good.
I suppose as time goes by I learnt to deal with things more gracefully and take things lightly. Okay la kan. Less stress is good. Was talking to Tina yesterday on being a bitch and she says "Kak Zu, I think you handled it pretty well. You are calmer these days. Kalau 10 tahun dulu mau merempan lagi teruk". Hmm, that not the exact quote but thats the gist of it. That's a direct response to the craziness I went through last Monday - yet again "all-of-a-sudden-silent" circumstances that could have been avoided if a certain someone someone could just give me a heads up but then its okay, I got over it.
I do age gracefully I suppose. Tina's right. If this happened 10 years ago I would have burnt someone's house down. Today I'm just okay whatever. Move on to the next agenda please.
Anyways, looking forward to iftar with my ex pwc girls later today. Its been a while since we play catch up. Its gonna be fun.
Just wish this shoulder ache will go away. Oh I should have slapped my bantal to my back before I left for office just now. Dang!