Monday, August 25, 2014

:)

My face is peeling like nobody's business since last Friday. Whoever can fall in love with me in this state is definitely a keeper because seriously, I can't be more fugly than this (kata saya). I have been trying to avoid meeting anyone at all the whole day today but then nak dijadikan cerita my department threw a makan-makan during lunch hour and I end up meeting practically everyone during the makan-makan session. 

Tak.boleh.lari.lagi.

Sigh.

I just hope that the whole thing will blew off by Friday and everything will go back to normal again before my sister's wedding this weekend. Masak la kalau the face is still peeling during the wedding day - there is no way I can cover it up with make-up - tak kisah la makeup tahap pro macam mana pun. Sobs. 

I still haven't got the time to color my hair, but doing my hair seems pointless now that I look like a wreck. Perhaps I should just schedule an appointment for Wednesday and see how it'll pan out. Kalau malas tak payah pergi.Worse case I'll just buy a box of color and get my mom to help me out on Friday night, the night before the wedding itself. Mi will kill me. Sobs. Dah bertahun kot tak pakai over the counter stuff. But then dah terdesak sangat sangat dah ni. 

*grin*

Lots of things to do. So lil time.

Have a great week ahead peeps.


Sunday, August 24, 2014

Troubling thoughts

Tossed and turned all night and woke up to the lousiest feeling this morning. It doesn't help when I get to bed with troubling questions in my mind.

Sigh.

I try not to over think it but personally its bugging me. Usually I just laugh it off but I don't know why for some reason this time its like a bullet that goes straight to my heart. Its crazy how it made me felt like part pissed part crying inside but I can't seem to let it out. Its like bottled inside.

Are you crying?

No.

*dry smile*

Perhaps I should have. But there were no tears streaming. Just a huge block of pain.

I am sensitive at times. This is one of those times. But displaying weakness is not a virtue of mine.

I need my girls now. And more yoga.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Melissa Shoes? Anyone?

Being a girl, I have a thang for fashion - be it make up, clothes, accessories - of course I have a thang for shoes as well. Who wouldn't love something that makes you feel hot when you strut that cute dress around? Extra inches to make you feel supermodel tall? check! Extra lift to make your ass looks saucy? Check! Heels so thin its a crime not to walk around and feel impossible yet dangerous? Check!

Those who have been sticking around for a while will surely know how crazy I am about shoes. It doesn't matter if its designer or not, I put comfort and class ahead. Especially if its stilletos - kalau tak comfortable sah sah fail la. Pair a good one with day to day wear you can immediately up your look a notch and go from average jane, to hottie on the block.

No kidding.

Well, of late I have been eyeing a pair of Melissa shoes. I am a bit of a sceptic of jelly shoes for a while, but then the Melissa shoes are just too hard to resist! It comes in high heels, flip flops, slip ons, flatties and wedges that can be used from day to night no matter what the occasion. 


Aren't those beautiful????

I can even take them to the office!

They even have flatties - which I love because they come so casual its good to be taken to the beach, my favourite chilling spots!

Anyways, the pair I have been eyeing for quite sometime is perhaps more practical for a cooler climate....


Melissa Drama in Grey

Macam cantek je!!!!! *scream!!!!!*

Omg zalora sale 10%. *grin*. 

I have been contemplating this pair for a while. Cool kan to be strutting the streets of London with this pair? If all those famous celebs can rock Melissa shoes kat sana, I pun boleh.

*gelak evil!*

Plus it comes in a few color options...


Oh my,

Yang pink tu pun macam delish!

With the discounts zalora just made the shoe more affordable. Like!. Now seriously thinking to just impulse purchase a pair myself.

*hears credit card crying*

For more choices of Melissa shoes obviously you can check out Zalora's website now. Go go. Before it runs out.

Laters peeps! Gotta go and checkout my cart now!

Bersiaran di awal pagi :P

Woke up at 6am today so that I can beat the jam and make it to work early.

*winks!*

Kalau everyday macam ni memang terbaik la, boleh dah buat habit practice ashtanga mysore pagi pagi before work. But then you know me....ni hangat hangat tahi ayam je. Nanti in a couple of days I balik la to the snoozing my alarm till 8ish routine macam biasa. My bed is just too hard to resist in the mornings.

*grin*

I was at my desk by 8.15am. Ambik kau! Yesterday when I walked in slightly late the department secretary happily announced to the whole department " Zuraida! 9.45!" and I can only muster a red face and a half decent smile. Oh macam tu eh.....tengok ye.....nanti later dia masuk I nak buat the exact same thing....buat announcement.

Heheheheh.

Okay dalam hati takde niat kejam. Believe me. Ni saja suka main-main.

Its gonna be a long day today.

My boss is away today, so I plan to declutter and recollect on what is due and get it all done. Then there's 730 pm yoga today, in which I don't plan to skip since I haven't been practicing since Monday. Satu hal pulak kalau nanti weekend comes and I start tak boleh nak catch up lagi coz I didn't practice.

Oh and my baby sis is gonna be married on the 30th!!! I'm psyched. Its been long awaited.  I am so proud of my baby sis, she manage to deal with all the bridezilla thingy on her own. I asked her if she needed help but she seems to be hands on with everything and she says its okay....so her kakak got to chill and just float around like the bride. Hahahahaah. The kakak chilled too much to a point that she realised that she haven't sent her baju to the tailor, found out when she wanted to do so last week she actually don't know where she misplaced the kain to be tailored and called her mom yesterday on a hissy fit of a potential wardrobe malfunction on her baby sis's wedding sebab she may have nothing to wear. Classic. Orang lain yang kawin orang lain yang gelabah. I don't know what will happen on my own wedding day. I surely didn't get a hang of it preparing for it the last time and I think over the years I have developed my own kind of phobia about wedding days myself. Sigh. Perhaps thats why I need a super cool baby sis. Nanti when the time comes I just sub everything je kat dia. Muahahahahah. Then I chill, macam sekarang.

*grin*

If only la kan that could ever happen.  

Now I am staring at the bottom right of my laptop screen and the watch shows.....8.53am.

Oh my. Lamanya nak 5.30pm.

Hari baru bermula.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

2 hour traffic to work? No kidding.

Slept a good 12 hour sleep last night and it was amazing.

I woke up chirpy and light as a bird. As I hit the showers I can hear music in my ears and all of a sudden I am belting an unfamiliar tune at the top of my lungs.

The title of the song doesn't even cross my mind. I was just swept away by the music playing in my head and only realise that I am doing a reindition of a KRU oldie when I hit....

"mungkin tak selalu ku lafaz cinta, tak selalu berganding mesra yang kau pinta, membuat hatimu hingga mengalir air mata....."

....hmmm, sad song on a happy morning. Ironic. But the music in my head feels good. It doesn't feel sad at all.

*smile*

I was sent back to earth after having to endure 2 hours on the road in Damansara-Subang-Solaris drive.I made an arrangement to send my submission by hand to my mentor this morning at the Subang airport and the traffic was out of the world crazy. Seriously, how on earth do Subang people go to work in KL everyday in all that traffic? Its practically not moving en route to KL, its just insane.

Kan best kalau boleh jalan je pergi kerja. No traffic. No hassle. Just morning air. 

Ni tak. Dah la traffic jam, construction left and right. I heard the MRT beam under construction somewhere in Kota Damansara fell of the rails (err rails? ke track? ke runtuh macam tu je? betul ke?) the other day and that there were casualties - indirectly maybe I pun a casualty jugak sebab the mishap somehow may have contributed to the bad traffic today, wallahualam la kan.

Arrived at work at 9.45am. With the reasssignment of cubicles at work thats bad bad news. 

Gotta make an effort to walk in earlier next time.

Its mid week. I am definitely looking forward to the weekend. Gotta clean my crib and run errands all weekend and I am psyched. 

Laters.

xoxo.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Writing from the heart

My final paper submission for the semester is finally sent for print and bind yesterday. It was a major relief - considering I have been struggling with writing it the past couple of weeks. These days writing comes to me as a challenge - it has been 6 to 7 months of mental block and feeling lost when I even attempted to write. Staring at a blank screen for hours is freaking depressing. I am brain drain and tired - its so exhausting just to even think about it. Tu belum kira the frustration I face when I read a journal....I can feel the words bouncing off my head as if it were hitting a brick wall. So yes, being able to finally get my drafts finalised and ready for print in time for it to be graded is a huge thing.

To come to think of it maybe I have been struggling with writing because deep inside I no longer have the heart to do what I do and continue studying. Perhaps the excitement to complete my studies had dimmed, reaching a point where I start questioning my original intentions. The fact that I did the paper out of fun in the first place is not helping - after 2 and a half years its no longer fun. Its stressing me out. I have to admit that there are days when I just can't believe that I ever decided to do it in the first place - that there was a point of time when I thought it was a good idea and not listen to my ex boss who said "seriously Zuraida, are you sure about this?".

Hmmm. Back then I replied "yeah, it should be easy peasy".

Boy I thought wrong.

Even worse when you get the "what were you thinking doing this thing out of fun" look from anyone who heard about it - as if macam its not common to further studies. Seriously chill la people. If I am the kind of person that goes through the normal life cycle of habis degree-dapat kerja-jumpa chenta hati - kawin and beranak pinak maybe I wont be what I am now and doing the things that I do now. Just because I chose a different path doesn't mean I deserve the "you're out of your mind" look.

Sigh.

Well I did a bit of light reading last night. Never read the author before but it was recommended by a friend, so what the heck. Anyways, there was a chapter where the author wrote about writers block and he mentions that in times facing mental block (in which writers do - I suppose its a work hazard), it doesn't matter that you can't write a single word, what you have to do is keep on writing from the heart. When you are done writing with the heart, then you fix it with the head.

Okay that's not a direct quote. I rephrased that. But thats the gist of it. I can't remember every single word. There are other funny bits that's quite deep (and sometimes dark) that made me forget the other deep and not so funny bits of the book.

Look up Pendek Mabuk Gila by Ahmad Kamal Abu Bakar if you have the chance. Its a good read. I enjoyed it. It took me only 2 hours to finish the whole thing. That's a record there I tell ya.

And then again maybe the author was right....maybe what I needed is a bit of heart. But then the question is, can I do technical writing using my heart?

Agak payah disitu kan.

:P

Zuraida, you gotta have heart in what you do. Its referring to doing the writing itself, not the content of the writing per se.

Hahaha. Deep la kononnya.

Laters.

Monday, August 18, 2014

On my typical Sunday yoga zen

Yesterday's yoga practice is practically like yoga boot camp - by the end of the second hour of basics and intro to ashtanga I was practically sweating buckets. It was not easy, I have missed a week of class because I was busy with my finals submission so catching up with a back to back class yesterday was no joke. 

But my time on the mat is practically one of the happiest time of the day. As I breathe in the air, exhaled and twist - I felt my heart open and my body came to a form of lightness. For a moment I was free from worries....my only worry was to stay calm in a pose and steady my breathe. And that is no worry at all. For once I let go of my crazy panicky rush to meet my deadline and simply smile. Yes, I smile on the mat. It is not easy to smile - at first I had to practically force myself to do so because who's sane enough on earth to smile while they struggle to twist their body to the side and bend backwards but seriously, smiling makes all the difference. It relaxes the facial muscles, lift the spirits. Usually I'll take a mat at the front row so that I can open my eyes in between poses and look at the reflection staring back at me....and I can't help but think "gosh that person looking back looks amazing!" every time I see me smile back. It must have been all the oxygen sebab there are times when I don't even recognise that person staring back at me because she look so calm, collected and pretty.

Hahahaha, yes I am vain (and crazy) like that! Okay la. Kalau tak puji diri sendiri siapa la nak puji.

:P
Usually the best part of a long back to back practice is brunch after yoga (where I get to make new friends...blessed you fun yogi souls) and the nap after. It will be the longest Sunday ever because by the time I wake up from my nap it'll be 5pm already (and the yoga ritual starts at 9am) but every single minute is pure joy.

:)

Whats usually your typical Sunday?

Saturday, August 16, 2014

:)

Skipped yoga today because of the morning rain.

As I lay on my bed, I can hear the fierce sounds of falling water outside my window. Not a calm morning. It may be quiet, but its not calm at all.

I usually love morning rain. The cool air. The stillness. The smell of it. But then today it feels a bit off. 

I wish I can whip up a pot of coffee. The smell of a roasted beans filling the air might help. Alas its been a while since I brew my own coffee at home. I'd usually just resort to a trip to the local starbucks or something. But even that has been going on a decline lately.

Anyways its a Saturday. A lot to look forward to. Best ot dwell in negative thoughts,

Laters.



Friday, August 15, 2014

What about you, is there someone else?

Its been a tough two weeks, with work and submissions and tonnes of to-do's. What's more, its festive season so I get to catch up with friends over the past two weeks over good food and good company.

Oh, despite all, yes I am blessed.

Smile.

Of course, over the last 2 weeks questions are raised as to whether there is a certain someone in my life. I suppose its inevitable. You meet friends who cares for you of course they want you to be as happy as they are. The funny things is they think I am even more happier these days because I simply rock my instagram account like nobody's business and they contemplated that all the glow must be because of a new guy.

The way that they put it is if as if finding the one perfect person who can truly understand and love me is an easy task. Yeah honey, I can simply walk out of a cafe or a bookstore somewhere and suddenly bump into that one guy and simply hit it off and life is perfect all of a sudden.

Okay I am not venting. I am just trying to make a point.

But then that is a question I do not have an answer to.

Its complicated.

Sometimes I felt like my friends do expect the "its complicated'' answer. What's about me that is not complicated over this past couple of years? I wish I have a more graceful answer than just two words that does not mean a thing. Because deep inside I have this gut feeling that there is something, its just that perhaps its not yet time or place for it to happen yet.

Oh yes its complicated.

But then while working on my submission assignment today I had You've Got Mail on the LCD and there it was....the answer....

"No, but there is a dream of someone else" - Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail (1998)

Oh yes, there is a dream of someone.

And he haunts my days, my nights, my living being. For once, everything is as simple and as natural as breathing and despite all the complications, I feel light and easy and simple. The thought simply makes me smile and filled with joy.

But then again.....

.....it is still a dream.

And I am not sure if it will still be as good if I ever wake up.

If he ever wakes me up.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

I.........I'm hooked on a feeling!!!

Have you seen Guardians of The Galaxy yet???


I only have one word for it...and the word is simply AWESOME.

*Grin*

Tak percaya?

Have a go at the trailer.



I never thought I would like it. But the script was funny, there's a lot of action and the soundtrack is infectious.

To be frankly speaking they are not belting new tunes. The awesome mix (as labelled in the movies) are simply oldies but I have to admit its a bunch of my favourite oldies.

I liked it so much I got super excited to find the soundtrack on Itunes and without a second thought, clicked "Buy Now".

Best. Purchase.Ever.

Next on my to watch list is of course Step Up All In - being a fan of all three previous installations of the franchise, of course I'm psyched to catch the ultimate battle.

I can't say a thing about the latest Step Up movie till I watch it myself but here's a shout to the original who made me fall in love over and over again....


Channing Tatum as always....very hot.

Who would not fall in love with that?

Here's to another great week.