Thursday, January 29, 2015

Is this caffeine withdrawal??

Who could resist morning coffee??

Obviously that person is not me.


I remember the cold winter mornings in Paris when I was awaken by the smell of freshly brewed coffee from the room next door. The smell of hot fresh press (though I doubt its anything complicated but something that comes out of a stick) fills the cold air like sun fills the morning sky. Absolutely refreshing. Reminds me of how I miss brewing my own cup of coffee (yes, I make my own coffee a few years back and carry them to work in one of my many novelty flask that's collecting dust in my kitchen now) and how much I love the smell to linger.


Which brings me to the fact that I made a pact with Shaz to quit coffee for a bit in the name of beauty.

Why say you?

The thing is I (again) am trying to lose weight. (old news but yeah!). One of my main culprit is coffee. The exact culprit is the coffee that my friendly office tealady made for me religiously twice a day. Not that I am complaining, I need my caffeine shots. Its crucial when I need to get my work done pronto. But the thing is twice a day is a bit much la kan? And we are not talking about black coffee here - there a generous amount of sugar and milk too - condensed milk (scream now!). So yeah....there you go - culprit.

Secondly I have been experiencing extreme dry skin recently. My face is peeling (in this weather) and its not a good sight. I rasa macam I ada melanin deficiency something and I can feel skin peeling off at the jawline. Perhaps I am dehydrated - so am taking more water but then I don't think consuming coffee would help.

Plus I am thinking of trying collagen stuff and to consume those stuff apparently you have to quit coffee.

I can not go cold turkey.


So here I am at 11am gulping as much H20 as possible and caffeine deprived.

This is my sort of last resort since I tried a bunch of creams this past 2 weeks and its not helping much. Sure, my skin is not peeling as bad but then after 2 weeks of slathering potions and still having dry skin (which is so not me because I am more of a oily to combination kind) is not a good sign.

Lets see how this all will pan out. Hopefully things will get better.

Its one more day to the long weekend!!!!! 

Usually I will be psyched! Who wouldn't? 4 straight days of holidays! But I am still broke from my recent trip (entah bila la nak recover...) so macam sedih la sebab maybe I will end up just staying at home doing nothing, which is a huge bummer.


Anyways, I hope you guys have a good long weekend.


Monday, January 26, 2015

The thing about old flames....

Any of you read the news today?

*hoho tetiba je cerita pasal news kan....tak pernah pernah!!!*

Well to tell you the truth I felt the need to catch up with current events since I need a to make a turning point in the near future (okayla, perhaps not so near in the future but I wanna keep my options open for the time being....hence, gotta read the papers) but then being me kalau baca papers pun nak baca business section tu memang agak payah la (because seriously, lambat nak digest sometimes. penat) in which is not a good thing but hey.....have hopes people, I still do read them. I'll get there. Heheheh.


...what caught my eye today is an article of a 69 year old englishmen hunting down his ol'flame through an article which came up at one of the front pages - definitely beats boring GST articles.

In the article the guy (Holbrook) met Fiona (aka Wan Jamilah - orang dulu pun ada nama glamer okay, who would have thought Jamilah could turn into Fiona? This is not a shrek movie okay) while he was serving in the army and apparently their engagement was cut short after he got transferred for dating a local.

Omg Fiona ni agak sexxayyy! Phewwit!

Okay melampau di situ. Lets behave here.

Since then he never married. Now he's back (after 3 decades) to reconnect because she is the love-of-his-life. Since she's no longer living at her old place (he checked them out 9 years ago - zilch!), so he's getting the public's help to track her down.


But then why la come back after more than 3 decades?

If its true love then why take so long??



At first thought I felt "omg, romanticnye the whole story" but then to come to think of it, isn't it a bit selfish? Like seriously, you got disengaged for a while know haven't it crossed your mind that perhaps she had settled down and have a family of her own because you tau la org dulu dulu bukan macam kita sekarang ni - onyang i kawin masa she's 8 years old and bless her soul she had 4 husbands before she was laid to rest.

God bless her soul.

Plus zaman sekarang with FB and all takkan la tak jumpa fiona ni online....

But the who knows. Maybe they are destined to be together and this is a step forward.

I suppose God's knows best.

Talking about old flames I don't believe a relationship can work if you have been disconnected for a long time. Of course, you have history together and you once loved each other, but despite all odds, I think if it doesn't work the first time, try as you may it would never work the second, third, fourth or the hundreth time around. Because people change, and when you re-kindle relationships we tend to have a set of pre-expectations engraved from the past in which may be unrealistic or no longer valid given our personal evolvement.

No matter how good that person looks and feels ok. 

Apa lagi yang dah 3 decades apart.

Well holbrook, best of luck though. I sincerely feel that even if you find this girl of yours she will break your heart but perhaps its better knowing than settle with the fact that she's the one that got away.

Lets start the week with some positivity....

Oh my, its a sunny morning its so hard to stomach the fact that its Monday!


I don't know why but I felt my energy level to be up, up and up. I suppose I'm psyched to finally start dieting again - it's already past 3 weeks since new year and I am still on the bingeing bandwagon. I added a couple of extra belts on my stomach (thanks to my dearly beloved's extremely neat cooking skills - sigh, who can refuse a good home cooked meal? And to have it like all the time? Sigh...too much, too much!). This has got to stop.


Threw away last year's desk calendar to the bin and skimming through my new one and trying to figure out when I can fit some time for gym and yoga. I have to admit that exercising takes time and I somehow has this fear that my fiance wont understand the time spent. Well he's kinda introvert - exercising is not exactly his thing. Trust me - I dah ajak dia okay to come with me a couple of times tapi jangan mimpi la - he lost weight effortlessly I think God is somewhat unfair okay.


Plus gotta jungle work with exercise this coming february. As always, I usually gain weight from February to April because of the long working hours-lack of exy time- and severe lack of sleep routine but then with the wedding coming up I gotta get a grip and break the cycle. Gila la okay aku dah overweight sekarang ni lepas tu I pile up lagi this next 3 months - tak sempat ok nanti nak look good even though puasa bulan 7 ni.

Sobs. Yeah losing weight's a bitch.

But then its always fun to have others do it together.

So mari lose weight beramai-ramai.


Okay now gotta work on that new running playlist for later.

Ciao and have a good weekend ahead.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Study milestone 2015

Have I ever told you I have been dreading my study commitments lately?

Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe not.

Fact is I have somehow lost my sense of purpose after hitting my 3rd years in the program. This January marks my fourth year of the expected 4 and half year course (or maybe 7 years - max - depending on how well I'm to do it) and I don't feel the slightest of motivation. 

Sigh. Apa lah nak jadi dengan kau ni labu.

I suppose work commitments had somehow damper my interest in studies and I am just too exhausted too think anymore. And doing this paper requires me to think (obviously!). Being exhausted, fatigued, stressed at the same time is not helping either.


Last semester was quite a drama. Once I have submitted my paper I just shut my eyes and mind and decided to just not think too much about it and enjoy the year end. Sure, there were post follow up after my submissions to do because apparently more work is needed but I just couldn't care less.

So I ignored all emails.

But deep inside I felt a pang of guilt and regret. I know I am not giving my 100%. I know I could do better. But I am just not up for it. I don't even have the time for it. What does that make me? 

I almost thought that I'd fail the paper for sure. Results were announced the week of my return from my holiday trip and I didn't even bother to check - dreading the inevitable and delaying the knowledge to the very last minute.

Until I got an email from my faculty today informing me of this semester's deadlines. Oh jeez. Nak tak nak I gotta do something about it, I can't just fake ignorance forever.This is something that will not get away.

So I checked my results.

Alhamdullillah. Passed.

All the drama, the worry....for nothing.

Not exactly.

Now that I can move on to the next stage, I feel even more worried.


Gotta calm down and believe that I can do this. I have gone through similar situations before. I never gave up. I shouldn't start giving up now.


Chin up. Think good thoughts. And do my best.

Here's to another year!


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

New Year - 13 days late but still....its a new year. :D

Happy New Year Peeps!


I closed 2014 with a trip to London/Paris and sumpah lepas balik dari the 2 week long trip tu I am exhausted. Nevertheless I had fun! Loads! I gotta say that two cities is somewhere I can live in - the air, the coffee , the laid backness, the culture - I gotta say the place is beautiful and I wish I can stay longer.

And that coming from a sunny beach bum is something. 

Not to say I never complaint about wanting the sun. I wish there were more sun (of course!). Obviously, despite my newfound love towards the city , I will definitely die in the cold if left there too long.

Sangat khatulistiwa aku ni.

I came back with a 3 day jetlag, spent the whole weekend sleeping and an ear infection.

Sakit okey. Hence the hiatus. And the unpacked bags still screaming for me to tend to (or more like a bunch of  ruins left in my living room). I got a hole in my wallet/purse - these two cities are far from cheap plus there are no interval cities in between to hedge the expenses. But then its okay. I don't know when I'll get to do this again given the big plans I have for this year.


This year's resolution is no resolution! Senang nye hidup - macam takde objektif. Carry je la resolution tahun lepas. Try to lose 20 kilos (oh tingginya angan-angan). Live healthy. Exercise more often. Try and practice yoga consistently. Try not to gain so much weight sampai baju kerja semua tak muat (fact!). Keep a religious beauty regime. Drink more H2O. Be kind. Spread light.

Biggest challenge this year is to make it to the wedding day in August. Kalau ikut resam cerita 2 broke girls - my wedding fund is at less than 1k at the moment and the wedding budget is definitely more than that. I have about 7 months to save enough to throw a kenduri, plan a wedding and make sure I don't bust my budget (because whats important is life after the wedding aite?). Before I leave fort my holidays I have been doing some digging for ideas and whatnot, having a pinboard on pinterest sure is fun.

Like it. Find something it too just in case.

Pin pin pin.

So far I have created about 4 different boards on wedding related matters and been pinning for weeks.


Anyways if you guys wanna play guess what zuraida is gonna have on her wedding day perhaps you would like to visit my pinboards for clues.

Just kidding.

I haven't even decided on a theme color yet but I roughly plan to kill my to-do list as I go on this next 7 months. So far I have kick-started a few stuff - decided on the wedding venue (which most likely be switched back to my hometown - sorry kiddos, that month sangat la banyak wedding kat KL ni sampai the date I wanted is snapped since last 2014), came up with a budget that is currently worrying me (and will potentially be a nightmare of sorts, but I am holding my chin up and looking at the bright side),  picked my wedding cake (oh yes! thats a silver lining I love since I got gateuxlicious *grin*) and decided if I have extra money I will upgrade my wedding cake (ha! mimpi!). Over the next month I need to see the tailor, scout a wedding organiser for the event day (pelamin and whatnot), scout for favours - and the list goes on. I suppose by March I should at least have about 40% of the planning done and the rest to roll in motion so that I won't rush towards the end because got knows how crazy my schedule could get at the very last minute and I hate it if I need to rush through things like a mad woman!


Anyways enough wedding talk. I don't wanna bore you....since this is like the second time we are at this. Last we did this a couple of years back I almost turned into a bridezilla in which hello hello I have so learned from my past and I vow not to get too carried with it anymore.

What happens, happens. Yang penting at the end of the day all is done.  I am just hoping for the best, since orang kata nak buat benda baik - hopefully God will ease the whole process till the big day itself.

Guess what?

Tomorrow's already mid week. Weehoo!!! 3 days to the weekend!!!!