Spent the weekend at my future MIL's place last weekend and had a blast playing with baby Azra. That bundle of joy is such a cutie pie she makes me totally forget about practically everything - all I want to do is play with her all day like my very own russian doll.
My future MIL kept on cooing that it seems like we will be making one of our own as soon as the wedding is over and done with but I'm not really sure about it. Sebab personally main-main dengan anak orang is not the same thing like having one of your own. There's definitely a lot more to it. But then I suppose god knows best and good things will come when the time is right - so it could be next year, or the year after....who knows. I am in no position to argue with fate. Kalau ada pun tak pe, kalau takde pun I have 2 nieces and another baby nephew i think coming soon from my fiance's side so for the next 1 to 2 years I can keep my hands full cooing on my in law's kids.
Spending time at future in laws also brings up some awkward q's about the wedding. Well its understandable that everyone is excited - tapi its also a bit weird that I am not freaking out about it just yet and hasn't done much for the big day considering now its February already. I don't know why there are times when I feel like running away and hiding myself every time q's are raised and I blush all of a sudden and felt like I'm in a hot seat at the smallest of question (like dah tempah baju ke belum? Duh!!!! Soalan macam tu pun rasa panas!). Maybe because I know myself too well - that if I start taking things seriously I might get things out of hand and I might (in fact scratch that - perhaps the better word is I will) turn into a bridezilla.
It happened before. Ok segan nak admit tapi its the truth. And I don't really like myself back then. Not that I hated me - I just don't like what I had became back then. Too bad I can't take back certain things that had happened and I macam regret it - so I am not letting it happen again.
Nanti bila jadi bridezilla yang mangsanya my mom.
In some ways I wanna jadi like my sister - very patient, Steady je, I suppose she is a stronger person than me being able to take care of my mom and all and that quality is so admirable. Aku yang kakak ni kadang-kadang pun fius pendek, cepat je angin kan. I never heard a single peep telling me that my sister experience any form of mental meltdown preparing for her wedding and at the same time caring for my mom during her chemo sessions last year. Aku je yang over.
And I should have been a better example.
Anyways - I shouldn't keep such things in mind too much. Tak bagus pikir benda benda negative ni. Thank goodness my kakak bestie nina sweettooth made me this delish looking chia seed pudding for lunch and I can't wait to dig in my spoon into my very own jar.
Okay. I ni memang tak malu sikit komen kat insta orang and then mintak satu for myself but wouldn't you want a jar of that???
Nanti I dah dapat I post ok.