I am so tired.
If I can just stay at home and not go out for a week or two life will be utter bliss. Just me at home, do yoga whenever I want, have ice cream, lounge at the living room while watching my tv series (I missed a few weeks, so I have about 150 or so episodes to catch up to) and read a good book seems heavenly. But such thoughts memang impossible la to materialise - workload had been crazy since I came back in January sampai tido pun is no longer part of necessity - its now labeled luxury. These days I spent weekdays till past midnight at my very own desk and even worked weekends work seems to be flowing in never ending.
Up to a point I think some of my friends are already writing me off. Not to be paranoid ke apa kan, but then I see them less and less these days and more so, we seem to even lose touch over phone and whatsapp. Sedih la jugak a lil bit. Sebab you know you were left out. Sigh, But then what to do. The whole thing will eventually blow over, so just ride it out je la I suppose. Tetiba nak emo tak tentu pasal ni pun tak elok jugak. There are better use of my time with the piling work - study lagi, wedding preps lagi - nanti ke laut semua baru tau kalau fikir bukan-bukan.
Its March already - making the wedding a mere 5 to 6 months away. Before I left for my holidays in December I got a list of to-do's from my bestie Joanna so that I can gage exactly what I need to do and figure out when I should do it by. She's super detailed in accounting for the cost and time for her wedding so her input is priceless. I came up with a slightly simplified version of it for myself (okay la - from 10 spreadsheets, to 1 spreadsheet - thats quite simplified kan?) and from there on, built a budget for the upcoming August wedding. I think the whole thing came in time for me to parcel my wedding preps into bite size pieces that I can handle - thus avoiding me from panicking and turning bridezilla mode on.
So far things are falling quite well. Got a lot of things checked, some ready to role by May. Since I'm trying to make sure that the whole cost is not extortious, I am keeping a close tab on expenses and cash flows - thus pushing my multitasking and negotiating skills to a whole new level. My eyes turn all blue looking at various wedding stuff online - I hope to put all this to rest pretty soon so I can focus solely on work and not worry about preps.
Semalam was home at 2am - I was swamped and I just chuck my stuff at one corner and doze off to la la land. This morning I missed 10 alarms and woke up at 10ish - yikes. Memang sah la lambat. Nak pull myself to work pun takes a lot of effort - I felt so sluggish and hoped that maybe another hour of sleep may make me feel slightly better but hell no - its 330pm now and I still feel exactly the same.
I need a break.
Perhaps I should check on whats the best day to take a day off because rest is good.