Monday, June 1, 2015

Its serious shit coz I'm counting days....


I tendered my resignation!

Okay this post is almost 2 weeks too late but what the heck.....tak tahan dah nak merempan.


I have been itching to leave for a long time. Obviously, I can't survive the crazy working hours. I am closing in to my 3rd year in my existing role as a corporate kucirat and I rasa some of my brain cells dah depleted for life dah - macam I dah used up my lifetime ability to run a think tank above my shoulders and light bulb moments seems dah almost non-existent. Nak contribute macam mana pun tak tau dah - I am mostly just exhausted and felt pushed around. I don't feel any form of self actualisation feeling at all.

They say lack of sleep can severely impact brain function. Add unhealthy eating habits and stress into the mix, I believe I am writing an early death cert for myself.

And I haven't even have children yet.


Some of my friends already have 4. Most of them are passing 2.

Imagine what will happen to my kids if I do sign on early to the boat heading to the afterlife? What will happen then? Poor kiddos.


Ah well....considering my t-leaving date gets nearer and nearer, my workloads gets lighter and lighter. Too bad its quarter close, so despite not being as cray cray as previous quarter, I still need to glue myself to my desk and work an extra mile so that I can clean up my desk as soon as the quarter deadline is over. I am also doing a paper this semester, which is due on 2nd august and I am still obliviously clueless on what I need to do. Kenapa la aku sign up sambung belajar ni - obviously I was out of my mind when I signed up a couple of years back and was over-confident on my ability to pull it through. Sigh. My batchmates are playing cheerleaders by my sidelines and keep on repeating over and over again that I am just over reacting and that all will be good once I put my mind into it but then that's just it.....what if my mind is not into it??

So far the only thing that kept me going is the money that I have invested (it came out of my retirement I am thinking 10, no 100 times on wasting it!) and the fact that Ikmal had vouched for my MyBrain grant last year - I don't want to dissapoint my guarantor, as much as I had invested in me....him signing on kinda shows that he believes that I can do it myself (In which now I am crawling macam snail!!!) - so no I can't dissapoint him.


I so need a holiday.

A bestie of mind from a former work place, Zita, is getting married on the 5th and I felt so bad for not being able to make it for her big day. Its on a Friday and in Penang and serving my notice, I can't take leave till my last working day so here I am bumped up. I so wanna go....I dah lama tak jumpa itu makcik and I know for sure if I see her I will be suddenly oh-so-positive because she is such a big ball of sunshine. Hopefully we could catch up either before or after the wedding. She would be busy, but gotta catch her before she boards back for Heathrow after the wedding.

Apart from that there is much to look out for this week such as....

...Shasha's bday do on Weds. Its been a while since we girls catch up so not to be the one neglecting her friends, I should start pencilling sessions in my calendar to make up for things and what better way to start than celebrating my bestie's birthday. cousin Veronica is coming to town on Thurs - my mom insisted we should meet. To bring my siblings too. Well okay ma, if she calls me we'll catch up. Poor girl have only a day in KL and she might want to party with her friends - cant be the program wrecker cousin now.


....oh gotta remind myself to call the girls for karoke. I need to karaoke. 


8pm and still at work.

Gotta sign out and get back to work.


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