Monday, November 30, 2020

New Norm

When I was still a student, doing accounting was an easy feat because to me rationalising the dual entries was an easy feat. I believe that anybody who has the skill to do simple math and logic will be able to understand accounting. Being an accountant is not really a tough choice to make since I love doing simple maths and I didn't foresee my life being dreadful every morning waking up to it.

Yeah, my goal in life was pretty simple. Wake up everyday to something that makes you live a happy life.

Fastforward 2 decades later I realised that being a pro accountant was not as simple as understanding double entries. There's definitely more to it as you climb up the corporate ladder, and it goes beyond understanding simple maths and logic. 

For example, I hate accounting systems. Not that I hate using it, nah as a user everyone loves having a system that can do all the number crunching and saves time so you can do the thing that matters - understand whats behind the numbers and make informed decisions to improve the company's bottom line or achieve a certain goal. What I dread most is project managing automation - the behind the scene work of making the system happen and the complicated logics behind it. As a student I hated computer science 101 - the basic accounting to automation class that introduce the basic system and how you use them, or create them. Bleergh. It was such a dread, I remember wishing I could skip the class every single day. 

But I braved it through. Being in management now, I have to work on automation on top of the routine work I do - simply because things move faster, resources are scarce, and we need to upskill people beyond mundane task so we need to let the computers do these jobs so people can do things that are more impactful.

With Covid - this suddenly becomes a priority.

I see my company automate the way we do work overnight, Within the first month Covid came into the picture - the fight to enable working online happens with a blink of an eye - a fight I saw my bosses fought endlessly throughout the year suddenly materialise. People now show the capability to work without the need of being physically present in the office. Meetings are done and captured with the use of discussion platforms such as Teams, GoogleMeet and Zoom. Cyber security heightened, trust to systems is developed.

And with that - more automation.

As much as I welcome the new norm and the flexibility that comes with it, I foresee that the coming year will again push me to work beyond my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel like I am already getting too old for all this, and that things are moving too fast for me to a point that sometimes I feel a bit lost. But hey, if Tun M can still keep up with Malaysian politics at the age of 90, who am I too complaint about change right?

Change shouldn't be a bad thing. Perhaps if we exercise balance and caution - things can work in our favor. Covid is still at large - everyone's remain vigilant. Soon it'll be year end closing again - and it will bring everything up to test again.

Hopefully we will all stride with excellence.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

My little baby turns 3

The month of November is a very special month for me. Three years ago this month, my lil precious son upgraded my status to motherhood.  Of course, he's not that little anymore and he had an early onset terrible three mode on since he was 2 years old, but alas, this one have broken all the ceilings and definition of love and thought me the true meaning of unconditional love.

My son Kahlil, newborn baby sis Chinta and his overprotective mom and dad.

How time flies. Sometimes it breaks my heart to see him grow up so fast to a point that I felt that I might have missed out some milestones that I wished I could witness him grow in.

For example, a few days ago we were getting ready to bed and he was watching youtube as usual while I sort myself out and suddenly I heard him singing "we will we will rock you!".

I went like what???

Did I hear that right?

Well I am used to hearing him hum nursery rhymes and cartoon songs , but a rock song? From Queens?


Then he repeated it a few times. In tune. Then the bridge happens and I heard he scream "sing it!".

Amboi kau nak.......semangat ye nyanyi lagu rock.

Then it hit me....when did that happen? I look at him and I saw my little baby boy all gooey eyed attached to his mommy and whats staring back is this over 100cm tall boy that sings rock songs. 

Don't even let me start about the day he saw me on a treadmill and say.... "mommy exercise?". When I answered yes, he responded "good job mommy!".

Awww. See your mommy melt into gooeyness.

But then this lil one seems to like to push my buttons to the limit. He will jump, he will run around. Throw his toys. Block my tv and ask me 1000 questions. He will make me scream at him at night so that at the end of it all, he can come to me and say "I'm sorry mommy. I love you".

And that makes everything better in an instant.

Oh boy how I love you.

He turns 3 on 11.11.2020.

I hope he grows up fine. I pray he will be so fine that he turns out to be the best version of me and my husband combine. I hope he grow up kind, happy, healthy, successful and strong all wrapped in a pretty bow of lucky and joy. I hope he will be good to everyone and everything - and be anak yang soleh insya-allah.

And please never stop telling me you love me and be my forever baby.


Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Getting my groove back post partum

Getting back on my feet after my second childbirth has been quite a challenge. I am at the moment, about 17 weeks postpartum and have been trying to exercise and shed my pregnancy weight since week 12. 

First of all, I gotta gave a big bravo to those moms who has bodies that readjusted so well. I have been struggling a fair bit over the past couple of weeks because I am still feeling the pain from my caesarian birth. I read that some got better after 5th week and seems to be able to start their normal fitness routines there and then but it appears that not me.

I still have lower back pain, and my knees are still a tad weak. I don't want to overexert myself and make it worse. I just got to accept that this is normal and it will take me some time before I can bounce back and create a new fitness routine for myself.

After a couple of tries over the past 4 weeks - today I am starting of a new cycle of 30 days post partum work out. Lets see if I can keep this on and survive till Day 30. Thanks to my company's sports club that gave away a RM100 decathlon voucher recently, I got myself some home workout equipment (dumbells, yoga ball, yoga knee pads, some handweights, roller foams) that can be used for simple home workouts. I also plan to utilise my treadmill more over the next 30 days.

I am lucky that I got help with the baby this time around. Getting back to work was a breeze. Stress levels are manageable, and as I stress less, my milk supply seems to be a bit better than the first time around. Now all I need to do is to find a way to shed the excess weight over the next 6 months.

Yeah - 6 months. I am not planning a miracle here. I want to be realistic.

Wish me luck peeps.


Thursday, November 5, 2020


This past 3 years had been a roller coaster ride for me. Everything went by like a blip.

First I gave birth to a son. My life went topsy turvy for a while as I juggle motherhood and work at the same time. Its not exactly new that my work usually takes centerstage in the production of my life - but as I start having kids, that slowly changes. Gone are those days when I complain of having nothing to do - I always have something to do. 

In fact , I long for those days where I can simply lie down on my bed - guilt free.

3 years and 2 babies later, here I am. Pushing my keyboard. Somehow I believed I have taken the "mature-up pill" and I have aged tremendously over the past 3 years. What brought me back to this space is my need for a hobby. I have been struggling with finding "the hobby" for quite a while now, as I take up quite a number of interest this past couple of months while I am homebound during the MCO (movement control order - yeah that happened!) and besides contributing to the country's economy and piling up more stuff I barely use in the house, nothing really sparks joy.

Earlier today I ran through an old email of me writing to a blogger friend years back and suddenly, like a lightbulb, there it is - joy sparked. I love writing. Over the past year I have been rushing through so many things I have not stopped for a second, compose my thoughts and read/write.

So here I am. 

And perhaps rather than vlogging some of the ideas I have in mind for motherhood, etc etc - I should just write them. I am not that camera savvy anyways.


Friday, October 20, 2017

The one with being gloriously pregnant!

Did you know that I am pregnant??



Okayla - for those who have been following my instagram and FB account would have known about it aeons ago, because I have been quite on the down low about it. Not that that I am not happy that I am pregnant immediately after hgetting hitched, its just that the whole process has been quite a challenge for me in the first place. Hence, the hiatus. Plus there's nothing much to rant about these days.....

Well how has it been you might ask?


For starters, there's a lot of changes. Physical, mental, emotional - you name it. Sometimes its just so overwhelming I got dumbstruck. There are some ups which was fun (like when you get to scan the baby and go all googly eyed over that little thing growing inside you) and there are also downs but I have to say my downs are quite hmmm - a lot - to a point that sometimes I doubt it when all my mom friends tell me how "magical" being pregnant is. They seem to obviously enjoy it - whilst I have this 50-50 feeling of mixed joy and dread. Sigh. Not that I am ungrateful - we feel so blessed to have this bundle of joy this soon. Perhaps its a challenge because I am not that young anymore - I am in mid 30's and not at my fittest/best health so obviously the level of energy is low. The first couple of months have been tiring so I slept and slept and slept like all around the clock.

I also struggled with gastritis and my acute sinusitis - the past month being the worst of all because of the excessive pghlem build up and flu - i end up coughing for about 3 weeks and became besties with the my toilet bowl - alternating between vomitting and excessive peeing due to poor bladder control. I have to do laundry every 5 days because I ran out of clothes in lightning speed for the past month.Its both humiliating and depressing going through the whole ordeal.

At my lowest point, which can occur every other week or so - I end up crying for being such a loser. Don't ask why - I just felt like one.

Other than that all is good I suppose.The baby seems to be quite a happy baby because despite being cranky and sad I am also easily amused and I can laugh immediately in between tears. That's cray cray - I am never like that. I'm quite a passionate person  and when it comes to emotion - when I cry I cry a hurricane katrina. I am obviously showing more now but for the past couple of months nobody even noticed my tummy - I look only I gained weight a bit. Not that its a bad thing. I don't want excessive gain because that is so not a good news for overweight people like me.


Anyways its Friday. Have a good one y'all! Till then! xoxo.